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Posted

Made huge mistake.Broke nc. I texted him are you ever gonna talk to me again. He said know. i called and asked him why do you hate me .he said because your calling me, what do you want.and hung up on me. i texted him telling him he was hurting me.He said stop wasting my time. Why is the person i loved turned into this blackhearted monster. was this him all along. i dont like this person.it kind of made me see things more clear.I starting thinking of all the bad things instead all the good memories.I want to continue to hate him. Does anyone know why men do this. Does he really hate me.

Posted
was this him all along.

 

Yep. Its pretty horrifying, no? The guy you know and loved only existed in the context of your relationship. This cold hearted monster is who he is to you outside of that context. That is what he is when you strip all the love and affection he has for you away. Ugly, painful, hurtful - sorry you had to see him that way.

 

Does he really hate you? Probably not, but he doesn't want you in his life either - and his meanness may just be a way to make sure you don't try to come back into it. He may have some unresolved issues or whatever, but if he refuses to talk to you then his motivations are a moot point. All that is left is to move on.

 

Hopefully this cut that hurts you, will also turn out to be the one that finally frees you from him.

Posted

There is no merit in thinking why he did that way or why men do it? The fact is that your relationship is over and he is not treating you good now. It really does not matter he hates you or not, he might have got someone else so he wanted to leave you or may be he was a jerk or may be an opportunistic.

 

Don't worry if you broke the NC once, the experience will go long way in helping you to maintain NC for the second time. You have to move over him, stop thinking about him instead think about you, take care of you, do things of your interest.

 

Try to learn from your past and move on.

Posted

Don't contact him anymore.

If he contacts you at any point, I would ignore him.

Posted

Think of it as a simple formula for a No Contact:

 

Calling him = PAIN

 

Missing him = PAIN = Wanting to call him

 

Wanting to call him + Calling him = PAIN+PAIN = twice as much PAIN.

Posted

That was nice butterfly!!! :)

Posted

thanks lamar! :cool:

Posted

it hurts like hell...but you've been told loud and clear, there is no doubt, you have closure...

 

if someone is being so blunt about you contacting them, no matter how nonsensical it seems, you must pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and focus on you...

 

he wants you to move on, no doubt...

 

walk away, dignity intact...

 

sending you strength and support...it's hell but IT IS HIS LOSS

Posted

I don't think you made a huge mistake.

 

Sometimes a person needs to make contact - that's the only way to realize that from NOW ON you need to do NC...plus you have gained the knowledge that he truly is a blackhearted monster.

Posted

rosalind - you got it

Posted

people break up every day. the fact is , when you get so close to another person, and they either leave you or take you for granted for so long, a lot of resentment builds. i dont know how this relationship ended, butu it did, and many on this thread are already psychobabbling about how this guy is a monster, this is how he really is, yada yada......

 

how do you know all of this?? are you just hand holding Duvessa? what was her part in this fail relationship?? she broke the NC rule and got hammered. deal with it. sometimes people have to be brutally blunt to get the message across thats it over. the "its not you, its me" easy way out might not have worked. now we have someone who made it perfectly clear that he doesnt want her anywhere near him, and i really cant see that he has any "issues" or whatever.

 

It is ironic that people act this way toward someone who they claimed to love endlessly only months before. it seems impossible, but its seems to be a natural reaction towards exs.......maybe somewhat of an exception if kids are involved. what do you want...someone to step all over you, and then you should be perpetual friends? i dont think thats reality. I love it when someone gets screwed over , and they react, and then people say "see, thats how he really is". everybody acts differently if they get their buttons pushed.

 

when you get cut into your soul deeply, the only way out is to go on. continually opening this wound with these contacts and "friend" crap is asinine. its over, you get the point, move on. but dont call him a black heart, or spew your dr. phil sewage on him.

Posted
Originally posted by Rosalind

I don't think you made a huge mistake.

 

Sometimes a person needs to make contact - that's the only way to realize that from NOW ON you need to do NC...plus you have gained the knowledge that he truly is a blackhearted monster.

 

Yep, totally!!

Posted
Originally posted by slimjim

dont call him a black heart, or spew your dr. phil sewage on him.

 

hahaha, never heard that term b4...... ;) (sorry to jack the thread, but his term was funny...)

Posted

thank you summerrae, i'm here all week!!!! later

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