Why do people lie and lead others on and cheat

[Gloria25]

I classify cheaters into three groups:

 

1 - Serial cheaters. You could be the best, hottest, smartest, etc....doesn't matter cuz "they" have a hole, void, deficiency, need that no one will ever fill. They probably have low self-esteem, need constant reassurance, etc. Or, they might simply be greedy. They like strange, variety, to ride a different bike every week

 

2 - Neglected. Something's gone south in their RL and, instead of breaking up and moving on, they cheat cuz they're starved.

 

3 - One time offenders. They maybe had too much to drink, got a bit cozy with someone other than their SO, realized their mistake, and it will never ever happen again. I was listening to my favorite podcaster and she had a lady who was engaged. She almost slept with an ex, but stopped at the kissing. She felt horrible, wanted to confess to her fiancé and swore that it wouldn't ever happen again.

 

So I guess your situation is #1. You can't beat yourself up for getting involved with a #1. Even if this wasn't an issue of "cheating" (i.e. the RL not working out). People are who they are. I got dumped for a "downgrade" one time and all he does - to this day - is stare at me and obsess over me. I spent many times banging my head against a wall wondering "why"? But, I'm past that. I have realized that he feels so bad about himself that he had to settle for a sloppy pig (who increases in mass as we speak). He tries to upgrade her (ie taking her out to walk, my favorite restaurants), but put lipstick on a pig all you want, it's still a pig.

 

Forget trying to analyze it and realize that some people have their "issues" (low self-esteem, etc) and they like what they like. Just don't waste too much time on someone showing red flags that they got issues.

Edited December 14, 2016 by Gloria25