Aloneuk Posted December 12, 2016 Share Posted December 12, 2016 Hi I was wondering what people's thoughts are on how you know whether you've reached the end of a romantic relationship, or whether you are just going through a rough patch which can be fixed? There are lots of articles online about couples where one falls out of love with the other. Is it a natural ebb and flow of a relationship? How can you tell whether you can get the connection back? Are there any tell tale signs that a relationship has reached the end of its course?? In my situation we get on very well but the closeness we used to have as a couple has gone. Our relationship is 'fine', no real arguments or disagreements, but not much else either. Have recently read the book "Too good to leave, too all bad to stay" which sums it up! I feel if I stay I'll constantly have doubts about whether we're right for each other, but if I leave I might regret it. Selfish I know. Interested to hear everyone's thoughts! Link to post Share on other sites
Purplexsparklesxx Posted December 13, 2016 Share Posted December 13, 2016 (edited) In my personal opinion I've been through that before, really don't end things until you've tried everything! People always have this image relationships are like fairytales and they aren't! They take work don't end it until you know you gave your best! Try communicating with him! Try something new! A new restruant, amusement park if you're my age haha try something you two have never done before so you can bond once again the way you both did in the beginning! My ex 6momths ago left me because he felt he had doubts that we weren't right for eachother exactly like what you stated and it was so hard for me to understand what he meant ? And it hurt what do you mean by he might not be right for you?? Because I was in the EXACT same situation as you! Edited December 13, 2016 by Purplexsparklesxx 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Aloneuk Posted December 14, 2016 Author Share Posted December 14, 2016 I am wondering if the fact I am querying whether I still love him and the relationship means that I don't, because it's not something that would cross your mind if you were happy? I guess what I'm trying to ask is when do you know that it's over, or whether it's an incredible difficult patch that you can get through? Am very, very confused! Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted December 14, 2016 Share Posted December 14, 2016 (edited) I hear your question, but still believe it boils down to how much work you wanna put into it to fix it. Think of the RL as a car. When a problem arises with the car, you assess the damage, cost of repair, and whether or not you should invest in getting the repair done. For example, if you got a Toyota, 2000 year, with 100K miles, that needs a new belt vs. the same car needing a new engine, you might opt to chuck the Toyota if it needed a new wngine cuz with 100K miles, yr 2000, the money you put into a new engine could be used to get another hoopty or downpay on a new car. So, if in your RL something happened that's so severe that you don't see how/why this could be fixed and/or its been a series of things happened and this one broke the camel's back is an assessment that each of us make that isn't the same. Some people would break up if their SO cheated once. Some, will tolerate it for years and like that woman on 48hrs one day, just snap one day when she saw mistress leaving her home and driving one of her/hubby's cars. So it's up to you. What will you "compromise" on, what's a "deal breaker"...and, do you wanna work through this cuz there's stuff that make staying together necessary/worth it (ie kids, nice person, etc.) Edited December 14, 2016 by Gloria25 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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