Author Jemima1234 Posted December 13, 2016 Author Posted December 13, 2016 I'm sorry but I really can't see how you can truly be NC when a child is involved. To be honest neither do I! But debating letting all contact go through email and avoid being face to face
DKT3 Posted December 13, 2016 Posted December 13, 2016 Hi yes I am married. Yes my spouse knows this child is not his, has always known. His wife knows too. But they think the affair is over. So yep I was stupid enough to do it again!! How I wish I hadn't but I did. Why not release your husband, can't be much love or respect flowing his way. Co-parenting can be done without direct contact if you are truly interested in doing it. During and after my divorce we did it almost no direct contact for an entire year
Author Jemima1234 Posted December 13, 2016 Author Posted December 13, 2016 Why not release your husband, can't be much love or respect flowing his way. Co-parenting can be done without direct contact if you are truly interested in doing it. During and after my divorce we did it almost no direct contact for an entire year Yep I agree about both comments. I don't want to share about my marriage on here - it's complicated but my husband is a good man who doesn't deserve this. As for co parenting without contact- that's what I need to look into now
DKT3 Posted December 13, 2016 Posted December 13, 2016 Yep I agree about both comments. I don't want to share about my marriage on here - it's complicated but my husband is a good man who doesn't deserve this. As for co parenting without contact- that's what I need to look into now I can explain how we did it. Not that complicated if you want to do it. Also any man who support his cheating wife and her love child has to have alot of good in him.
Author Jemima1234 Posted December 13, 2016 Author Posted December 13, 2016 I can explain how we did it. Not that complicated if you want to do it. Also any man who support his cheating wife and her love child has to have alot of good in him. Yep you are totally right. I just need my broken heart and screwed up emotions to catch up with my head here - I am screwed up just now I don't deny it
ToBePampered Posted December 13, 2016 Posted December 13, 2016 You can do it!!! Each and every time you think about texti him... update your post here. Word for word. Send it to us instead of him. No matter how many messages it is. Once you get it all out you'll feel better, be able to look at what you would have said rationally, and in the end you will have never contacted him.
Author Jemima1234 Posted December 17, 2016 Author Posted December 17, 2016 You can do it!!! Each and every time you think about texti him... update your post here. Word for word. Send it to us instead of him. No matter how many messages it is. Once you get it all out you'll feel better, be able to look at what you would have said rationally, and in the end you will have never contacted him. Thank you- love this and really helps
Author Jemima1234 Posted December 17, 2016 Author Posted December 17, 2016 So the affair is definitely over. It's different this time. And I feel at peace with this. Much as I love him and miss the intimacy with him- I feel so much better that I am not screwing up folks lives anymore! How I wish I could turn the clock back and never have started this. We have remained in some contact tho- not like before but some. Yet tonight something happened and it hit me that while I am contacting him tonight (text and phoned) and he replies and speaks to me in phone - he is initiating contact with his wife! he was out, and he told me he text her and sent a picture (I asked a leading question to find out!! Fool that i am)! So what the hell am I doing making a total fool out myself!!!! Realised while on phone to him, got angry, and we basically hung up on each other. Have cried since - but also have a realisation- this is another reason for NC- because this way is utterly humiliating. And I have this morbid curiousity about him and his wife yet I hate hearing him move on in any way so it's basically total self harm!!!!! Hope this has empowered me- have taken huge steps this week- but it needs to be full NC now! 2
Adoraxx Posted December 17, 2016 Posted December 17, 2016 So the affair is definitely over. It's different this time. And I feel at peace with this. Much as I love him and miss the intimacy with him- I feel so much better that I am not screwing up folks lives anymore! How I wish I could turn the clock back and never have started this. We have remained in some contact tho- not like before but some. Yet tonight something happened and it hit me that while I am contacting him tonight (text and phoned) and he replies and speaks to me in phone - he is initiating contact with his wife! he was out, and he told me he text her and sent a picture (I asked a leading question to find out!! Fool that i am)! So what the hell am I doing making a total fool out myself!!!! Realised while on phone to him, got angry, and we basically hung up on each other. Have cried since - but also have a realisation- this is another reason for NC- because this way is utterly humiliating. And I have this morbid curiousity about him and his wife yet I hate hearing him move on in any way so it's basically total self harm!!!!! Hope this has empowered me- have taken huge steps this week- but it needs to be full NC now! Hi Jemima, I really hope you can do the full NC now. I agree, it's so painful when you realize he's initiating things with his W yet he won't do the same for you... it's obvious that you (and I!) are just an option I hope you feel better SOON Hugs!!
freengreen Posted December 17, 2016 Posted December 17, 2016 So the affair is definitely over. It's different this time. And I feel at peace with this. Much as I love him and miss the intimacy with him- I feel so much better that I am not screwing up folks lives anymore! How I wish I could turn the clock back and never have started this. We have remained in some contact tho- not like before but some. Yet tonight something happened and it hit me that while I am contacting him tonight (text and phoned) and he replies and speaks to me in phone - he is initiating contact with his wife! he was out, and he told me he text her and sent a picture (I asked a leading question to find out!! Fool that i am)! So what the hell am I doing making a total fool out myself!!!! Realised while on phone to him, got angry, and we basically hung up on each other. Have cried since - but also have a realisation- this is another reason for NC- because this way is utterly humiliating. And I have this morbid curiousity about him and his wife yet I hate hearing him move on in any way so it's basically total self harm!!!!! Hope this has empowered me- have taken huge steps this week- but it needs to be full NC now! That bolded part.. , yes I feel like it too. You are going through a harsh time. Dont be hard on yourself. Continue NC, grieve when you have to but be happy that you were strong enough to do it. Take care and move forward one step ata time. We will make it on the other end, I am in this tunnel too 2
Author Jemima1234 Posted February 15, 2017 Author Posted February 15, 2017 So here I am again. If you had asked me two days ago I was buzzing with the high of where I was at with my MM!!! After it being over surprise surprise it restarted!!!! And now comes the crushing low. When will I learn?! Why do I love someone so much and make someone a priority when to him I am not. I don't doubt he has deep feelings. But it's not enough is it. Just venting. And working this through. And knowing once again what I need to do. And know I will get a hard time - and I deserve it!!!!!
deadsoul Posted February 15, 2017 Posted February 15, 2017 So here I am again. If you had asked me two days ago I was buzzing with the high of where I was at with my MM!!! After it being over surprise surprise it restarted!!!! And now comes the crushing low. When will I learn?! Why do I love someone so much and make someone a priority when to him I am not. I don't doubt he has deep feelings. But it's not enough is it. Just venting. And working this through. And knowing once again what I need to do. And know I will get a hard time - and I deserve it!!!!! I'm not going to say anything you already know. it's an addiction. You have to hit bottom before you will quit... but it is a choice and it's a tough one.
jennifernyc84 Posted February 15, 2017 Posted February 15, 2017 I could have written this post myself. I said the EXACT words to myself just this afternoon!!
DKT3 Posted February 15, 2017 Posted February 15, 2017 Are you still with your husband? That guy must be a saint. (The husband)
Author Jemima1234 Posted February 15, 2017 Author Posted February 15, 2017 Are you still with your husband? That guy must be a saint. (The husband) You don't know anything about my husband. I choose not to badmouth him on here but no he is not a saint. Walk my shoes, live my life before you judge. 2
Author Jemima1234 Posted February 15, 2017 Author Posted February 15, 2017 I could have written this post myself. I said the EXACT words to myself just this afternoon!! I follow your story - can relate to so much. Can I pm you?
Author Jemima1234 Posted February 15, 2017 Author Posted February 15, 2017 I'm not going to say anything you already know. it's an addiction. You have to hit bottom before you will quit... but it is a choice and it's a tough one. So true - I know you are right
jennifernyc84 Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 I follow your story - can relate to so much. Can I pm you? Yes sure! I've said before, I think we should start a buddy system lol
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