Late Nights Posted December 12, 2016 Posted December 12, 2016 Me and ex have been broken up for 5 months now and since the last 2 months trying to cope has finally hit me. For everyday since the last 2 months i find myself wide awake at night with my mind wondering a million thoughts. I seem to cant seem to fall asleep at night and when i do finally fall asleep its usually at 7am-9am. My thoughts, insecurities, and the unknown are keeping me up at night. It sucks has anyone gone thru this? 2
DarrenB Posted December 12, 2016 Posted December 12, 2016 Yep, I empathize and sympathize for you greatly on that one. 5 pushing 6 months en-counting. Insomnia/sleep deprivation is an AWFUL thing to have and go through, especially if it's through trauma and a specific experience, in this case a breakup. I can't really advise on what would be beneficial or helpful because it's really personal preference, but what has gotten me somewhat on track during the night/late evenings is in fact coffee. I imagine it as some kind of placebo and some nights works wonders, which you obviously wouldn't expect as it is supposed to be the opposite of helping you get to rest. I do however consider, perhaps taking a stroll during the evening/late night. Go for a somewhat long duration, let yourself occupy your mind with peace and solitude. Seeing as it's this specific experience that is getting to you and preventing you, it's better to try and negate those thoughts and emotions out by something completely different. All else fails, attempt to tire yourself during the daytime with certain activities. It might help you. Worst comes to worst, I would suggest going to your GP and try and work out some treatments. 4
Kelley Posted December 12, 2016 Posted December 12, 2016 I went through this at the beginning of my break up and found the only way for it to stop was to let the feelings and thoughts out. I would really suggest starting a journal. I remember waking up at 2am with my mind racing and I would write down everything, then I would be ready to go to sleep again. Just keep letting things out face the feelings, don't bury anything. It's difficult to face but to recover thats what you need to do. 4
NopeNah Posted December 12, 2016 Posted December 12, 2016 Years ago I had major insomnia after a break up. I got a second job..Didn't need it but, it gave me something to do and extra cash is never a bad thing. 2
Pete2304 Posted December 13, 2016 Posted December 13, 2016 Insomnia can be utterly debilitating and I truly understand. I understand that even if once in a blue moon you fall asleep at a sensible time, you then wake up at 2/3/4am and have to go through it all again. I understand the almost impossible task of trying to lead a normal life when night after night you haven't slept. I find that almost every tv show I watch makes me think about things and that doesn't help. The only slightly helpful solution I found was to put on the tv in bed (or often in my case a sports or talk radio show through the tv), but have it on say a 30 min sleep timer. That way you are lying in bed listening to sports chat or whatever your interests are but if you keep the volume and lights low on the tv, you may just drop off because your mind isn't on your ex. With the timer being on, you won't be woken up by it an hour later. It's by no means a fool proof plan but on occasion it's helped me. I say, as I write this reply whilst wide awake at 2am haha! 3
Satu Posted December 13, 2016 Posted December 13, 2016 I've never been a good sleeper, but there is something that was suggested to me which I've found helpful. Go outside at noon and look at the sky for a few minutes. Those photons hitting your retina help to tune your body clock. Try to sleep in total darkness for the same reason. Try this for a few days and see if it helps. Take care. 2
PLT Posted December 13, 2016 Posted December 13, 2016 I'm right there with you latenight. I'm in the UK and its 4am now. Broke up with ex 4 months ago. Its a regular thing for me these days. My mind just gets over active and I simply cannot drop off. It always seems to be when I have somewhere to be in the morning too, so it gets to around 3.30 or 4 am and I decide to get back up and push through it or I'd sleep through all my alarms. A few weeks ago I went 40 hours without sleep and started to have mild hallucinations. It was pretty scary to be honest. Counting my blessings it does not happen every night, but it is too regular for my liking. 1
Pete2304 Posted December 13, 2016 Posted December 13, 2016 I'm right there with you latenight. I'm in the UK and its 4am now. Broke up with ex 4 months ago. Its a regular thing for me these days. My mind just gets over active and I simply cannot drop off. It always seems to be when I have somewhere to be in the morning too, so it gets to around 3.30 or 4 am and I decide to get back up and push through it or I'd sleep through all my alarms. A few weeks ago I went 40 hours without sleep and started to have mild hallucinations. It was pretty scary to be honest. Counting my blessings it does not happen every night, but it is too regular for my liking. It's truly an awful thing. I've done the whole not sleeping for a couple of dad more times than I care to remember and whilst I've never experienced hallucinations I've gotten to the point where I'm so dizzy the next day I feel like I've had a skinful. As we speak, I'm watching the NFL (insomniacs best friend that sport since the night games play out till 4am our time). I've lost a job through this in the past and I suppose the only sensible thing to do would be to go down the medication route but I really don't fancy that one bit. 3
PLT Posted December 13, 2016 Posted December 13, 2016 It's truly an awful thing. I've done the whole not sleeping for a couple of dad more times than I care to remember and whilst I've never experienced hallucinations I've gotten to the point where I'm so dizzy the next day I feel like I've had a skinful. As we speak, I'm watching the NFL (insomniacs best friend that sport since the night games play out till 4am our time). I've lost a job through this in the past and I suppose the only sensible thing to do would be to go down the medication route but I really don't fancy that one bit. I usually amuse myself for a few hours on Kerbal Space Program haha. Not only does it keep me awake until I have to go do what I need to, but it also takes my mind off the ex. I know exactly what you mean about medication. I'm not going down that route as I'm worried it will go the other way and they will be too effective. My mum was on sleeping pills for much of her adult life and ended up addicted to them in that she could no longer sleep without them. I'm not going there. 1
Pete2304 Posted December 13, 2016 Posted December 13, 2016 Kerbal Space Programme.....just googled it, sounds very geeky. I mean personally, I've not at all spent hours playing flight sim into the small hours of the morning or at any point bought a load of the old roller coaster tycoon games and sat up till 5am messing around with the ticket prices to complete the level......honest! The mediation thing just seems horrible. I think most people who suffer badly with insomnia probably have some degree of not wanting to let go and are scared of falling asleep. Ever been utterly shattered but it's still early in the evening and you're scared if you fall asleep it might just be the night that your ex texts or calls and you might miss it? 2
PLT Posted December 13, 2016 Posted December 13, 2016 Kerbal Space Programme.....just googled it, sounds very geeky. I mean personally, I've not at all spent hours playing flight sim into the small hours of the morning or at any point bought a load of the old roller coaster tycoon games and sat up till 5am messing around with the ticket prices to complete the level......honest! The mediation thing just seems horrible. I think most people who suffer badly with insomnia probably have some degree of not wanting to let go and are scared of falling asleep. Ever been utterly shattered but it's still early in the evening and you're scared if you fall asleep it might just be the night that your ex texts or calls and you might miss it? Oh man, rollercoaster tycoon Kerbal is great fun and I'm a budding astronomer so it's right up my street. Yes, I get that all the time. I get this gut feeling that she is thinking of me, and is thinking about texting me. I can't shake that feeling when it comes and it stops me falling asleep until I can no longer stay awake. I just put the phone right next to me. Totally daft really. She ain't calling. She ain't texting. Truth be told it's a good job as she treated me horribly and if she contacted me I'd be putty in her hands and the cycle would begin again. So she's actually doing me a favour by not contacting me. 1
Author Late Nights Posted December 19, 2016 Author Posted December 19, 2016 Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me. I think im going to try and that going outsideat noon and just looking into the skies. I just want to give everyone a little update. I think i found the reason why i have this insomnia. After the last really heated arguement with the ex she told me she was tired and she is finally dive with me. i told her that from that day on i don't want to be civil don't want to be friends i don't want to be anything with her. If we were to see each other then we don't need to say hi or even look at each other. Just be complete strangers. After that day i went NC for a full 7 days until... (but) From the first day of me going NC my mind was finally relaxed and i wasnt thinking that much about her nomore. Tbh i was actually feeling good because i finally got my closure from her. Now i know she is truly done with me instead of keeping my feelings and emotions in a limbo because she still wants to hold on and be friends and still remain single until the time being. After that 7th day she decides to call me and act like nothing happen. Now my feelings + emotions are back and my insomnia is back. 1
PLT Posted December 19, 2016 Posted December 19, 2016 She is dicking you about, having you as a back up plan for when she's feeling low or when singledom isn't panning out as she hoped. Don't let her. Block as many means of contact as you can. She decided she is done with you. Be done with her. 1
jo-ol Posted December 21, 2016 Posted December 21, 2016 After weeks without sleeping I noticed I was having nausea during the day and I was consuming unbelievable amounts of coffee to keep the energy to work. Ultimately I noticed I was not able to perform anymore and decided to seek for help. I call a counselor once a week and visited my family doctor. He gave me pills to sleep and cut coffee and cigarettes. I also started a more healthy diet and exercise everyday. It helped a lot and gave me some sense of control. Hope if helps you too. 1
Author Late Nights Posted December 21, 2016 Author Posted December 21, 2016 She is dicking you about, having you as a back up plan for when she's feeling low or when singledom isn't panning out as she hoped. Don't let her. Block as many means of contact as you can. She decided she is done with you. Be done with her. Im staying strong. I as the days go by im doing my best to keep very minimum to eventuality NC.
Author Late Nights Posted December 21, 2016 Author Posted December 21, 2016 After weeks without sleeping I noticed I was having nausea during the day and I was consuming unbelievable amounts of coffee to keep the energy to work. Ultimately I noticed I was not able to perform anymore and decided to seek for help. I call a counselor once a week and visited my family doctor. He gave me pills to sleep and cut coffee and cigarettes. I also started a more healthy diet and exercise everyday. It helped a lot and gave me some sense of control. Hope if helps you too. I understand exactly what you mean. Coffee made my worse so when i get less sleep i don't drink it. About a month ago the things i started to notice was my skin was looking VERY bad up until recent its looking more healthier. The worse part of the breakup i started smoking. The last 2 months i bought 7 packs. Today i went to the gym and also hit the steamroom i feel soo healthier. I had my last cigarette for the night and decided to throw out the rest of the pack so make myself quit. Sigh* im bad at relationships and im tired of going thru this again.
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