puzzledfemale Posted December 11, 2016 Posted December 11, 2016 I (26) have a crush on this older man (50) for the longest time (2 years), and I thought he liked me too. He has flirted, made sexual jokes, even brought up topic on affairs, and just few days ago mentioned that his dating range is 10 years. He also told me there is this upcoming event. And so, few days later I took up the courage and asked him if he is still going to the event alone. His reply was, "Yes, I am going alone, but it's sold out". I then asked if there are other events, and he was thinking for a bit before he told me some, but he didn't directly asked me out. I then asked what are his other plans for the holidays. To that, his response was, "My family will be visiting from overseas. You know, my child and something like that". So yea, I am confused about everything. Why did he even flirt? Do I move on? The event he mentioned is actually not sold out, so I feel he is pushing me away, but I don't think I can move on?
Shanex Posted December 12, 2016 Posted December 12, 2016 It's over, his age range is 10, he's 50 and you're 26? Forget about him, shortly. He enjoyed the ego boost to have a younger girl flirting with him. But this is no long term headed, if that's what you want. 2
Author puzzledfemale Posted December 12, 2016 Author Posted December 12, 2016 Thanks for your insight. Also, why would he still mention me in his future? He said when he's old at a nursing home, his last request will be for me to push him into the waters. Why would he say that? He does have a teenager child, so why not ask his child instead of me?
Author puzzledfemale Posted December 12, 2016 Author Posted December 12, 2016 (edited) Also, when I had asked about other events, he mentioned two events to me but just stared at me/checking for my reaction. Was he waiting for me to make another move? If he is not interested, why didn't he just say so and be direct? Edited December 12, 2016 by puzzledfemale
Author puzzledfemale Posted December 12, 2016 Author Posted December 12, 2016 He recently said his "family" will be visiting from overseas, but he phrased it as "my daughter and something like that". He hasn't talked about a "wife". He has always said "my daughter, my daughter's mom". Does he sound married, single, or estranged?
Scarlett.O'hara Posted December 12, 2016 Posted December 12, 2016 Just because someone flirts with you, doesn't mean they want to date you. From what you have said, I think he has made it extremely clear that he isn't interested in dating you. The reason why he lied about the event being sold out was to spare your feelings that he didn't want to go with you. It was a soft rejection. As were the other hints about only dating older women and saying that he was busy with family when you asked if he had other plans. I understand when you have feelings for someone it is easy to read into every word, look or gesture, but I'm telling you, he isn't interested in you romantically. I'm sorry, but I think you would be wise to move on. 7
Author puzzledfemale Posted December 12, 2016 Author Posted December 12, 2016 Thanks for your insight! Why does he still mention me in his future though? He said when he's old at a nursing home, his last request will be for me to push him into the waters. He has a family, why not ask them?
ja123 Posted December 12, 2016 Posted December 12, 2016 B/c he knows you're interested, but he's making it clear that you two cannot be together because of the age difference, hence the mention of the nursing home and his death. He's flattered, that's it. And of course, he'd ask his family over you. Don't take his statement literally. 1
Author puzzledfemale Posted December 12, 2016 Author Posted December 12, 2016 Is there any way I can convince him? That is, if he is single in the future?
ExpatInItaly Posted December 12, 2016 Posted December 12, 2016 Girl, no offense, but your desperation is jumping off the screen. If we can sense it online, he can definitely sense it in person. It's not a good trait to be demonstrating. Look, he likes the attention and ego-stroke knowing a girl half his age has the hots for him. That's it. He's made it obvious you're too young for anything else, though. He's trying to let you down gently. Why would ever want to convince a man to be with you? Where is your confidence, OP? Don't be that girl. 5
Redhead14 Posted December 12, 2016 Posted December 12, 2016 I (26) have a crush on this older man (50) for the longest time (2 years), and I thought he liked me too. He has flirted, made sexual jokes, even brought up topic on affairs, and just few days ago mentioned that his dating range is 10 years. He also told me there is this upcoming event. And so, few days later I took up the courage and asked him if he is still going to the event alone. His reply was, "Yes, I am going alone, but it's sold out". I then asked if there are other events, and he was thinking for a bit before he told me some, but he didn't directly asked me out. I then asked what are his other plans for the holidays. To that, his response was, "My family will be visiting from overseas. You know, my child and something like that". So yea, I am confused about everything. Why did he even flirt? Do I move on? The event he mentioned is actually not sold out, so I feel he is pushing me away, but I don't think I can move on? even brought up topic on affairs Unless you are into having an affair with a married man, let it go. Men flirt . . . so what? He found you attractive apparently. It doesn't mean he's going to act on anything. And, the fact that you started chasing him a little might raise a flag for him. He doesn't want a woman so wrapped up in him and possibly get him caught by his wife . . . 1
Author puzzledfemale Posted December 12, 2016 Author Posted December 12, 2016 Could it be that he and his wife are estranged or something? He never talks about her....well, only referred her as "child's mom".
Miss Peach Posted December 12, 2016 Posted December 12, 2016 If he's bringing up affairs and sexual jokes, IME he's looking at you for sex only. 2
Author puzzledfemale Posted December 12, 2016 Author Posted December 12, 2016 If he is single/divorced/whatever, does it mean he wants me to initiate anything?
CommittedToThis Posted December 12, 2016 Posted December 12, 2016 It sounds like you two have a beautiful future together, said no one ever. 1
kendahke Posted December 12, 2016 Posted December 12, 2016 I (26) have a crush on this older man (50) for the longest time (2 years), and I thought he liked me too. He has flirted, made sexual jokes, even brought up topic on affairs, and just few days ago mentioned that his dating range is 10 years. He also told me there is this upcoming event. And so, few days later I took up the courage and asked him if he is still going to the event alone. His reply was, "Yes, I am going alone, but it's sold out". I then asked if there are other events, and he was thinking for a bit before he told me some, but he didn't directly asked me out. I then asked what are his other plans for the holidays. To that, his response was, "My family will be visiting from overseas. You know, my child and something like that". So yea, I am confused about everything. Why did he even flirt? Do I move on? The event he mentioned is actually not sold out, so I feel he is pushing me away, but I don't think I can move on? Oooh... that was painful to read. My dear, he may have flirted once or twice with you, but he's clearly not interested in you as a girlfriend. He is telling you as much by not directly including you in any of his plans. You have no choice but to move on. Otherwise, you become a pest. He may not be interested in dating someone young enough to be his daughter. This is done. You need to find someone else to invest in. He's not the one. 2
kendahke Posted December 12, 2016 Posted December 12, 2016 Thanks for your insight. Also, why would he still mention me in his future? He said when he's old at a nursing home, his last request will be for me to push him into the waters. Why would he say that? He does have a teenager child, so why not ask his child instead of me? This sounds like sarcasm to me, not some heartfelt exchange by him. 2
kendahke Posted December 12, 2016 Posted December 12, 2016 Is there any way I can convince him? That is, if he is single in the future? No. He. Is. Not. Interested. In. That. From. You. Maintain your dignity and and grace; quit throwing yourself at someone who is trying to keep from having to unzip the lizard on you to get you to understand that this isn't going anywhere. 1
Redhead14 Posted December 12, 2016 Posted December 12, 2016 Thanks for your insight! Why does he still mention me in his future though? He said when he's old at a nursing home, his last request will be for me to push him into the waters. He has a family, why not ask them? Oh, c'mon! Stop grasping at straws and hanging on hypothetical scenarios and trying to spin yarn for yourself . . . that's called stringing yourself along. Yes, it's usually a good sign when a man who is single and looking for a long term partner that you are actually dating to talk about the future with you and after a period of serious dating, but not some guy who has simply flirted and messaged you here and there and is likely married. Get real with yourself. 2
introverted1 Posted December 12, 2016 Posted December 12, 2016 This sounds like sarcasm to me, not some heartfelt exchange by him. Exactly! Plus it is a way to highlight the age gap. OP - he is NOT interested in you. 2
leogirl876 Posted December 12, 2016 Posted December 12, 2016 Thanks for your insight! Why does he still mention me in his future though? He said when he's old at a nursing home, his last request will be for me to push him into the waters. He has a family, why not ask them? Because there are men out there that will lie!!! This guy I was dating for about 3 months started talking about marriage and wanting kids with me and he didn't mean it! And this was somebody I was already dating and been out with like 16 dates with! So if he can lie and we dated for that amount of time, this guy can lie to you without even knowing you. 1
AmandaDiane Posted December 12, 2016 Posted December 12, 2016 Honey, it really depends on the type of relationship you want to have with him. This kind of situation rarely creates long lasting relationships, the more likely scenario is that he has too much respect for you to have the one-night-stand he thinks you want. 1
Author puzzledfemale Posted December 12, 2016 Author Posted December 12, 2016 How do I move on? Is a fling/short term dating out of the picture for the future?
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