Johnson1 Posted December 11, 2016 Posted December 11, 2016 I decided to go out with a woman I met through a mutual friend. We didn't have much time to spend over lunch (an hour and a half), but it didn't go as well as I had hoped based on our phone conversations. She's really a sweet person and attractive, but is a bit crazy and has many issues. Her emotions were all over the place, even crying at one point telling me about how Curt Cobain saved her life from a car wreck. Also, on her way up to see me she stopped of a dealers place to pick up some weed. She's been telling everyone that she can't remember the last 20 years of her life from head injuries. Many of her friends including our mutual friends question whether or not she's faking to get disability because she's in and out of jobs. She knew the manager of the place we ate at and had the waitress tell him she was there, where she spent half the time talking to him, which I though was a little rude. She also left a few times to make phone calls. After the date yesterday she contacted me through voicemail and text telling me she had a wonderful time, but I haven't responded. Now she's texting asking if everything's okay because she hasn't heard from me. I'm not sure what to say to her. She is a nice person, just 'out there', WAY out there. She does live kinda far away, about an hour and a half, but I can't use that as an excuse to break up since I already knew that. I know I'll end up seeing her again at some point through our mutual friend. I just don't want things to be uncomfortable or awkward. Like I said, she is sweet, I think she means well, but I just got over a relationship with an abusive cheater ex who was nuts. I don't want to have to go through it again. I can't come out and tell her why I wasn't happy with the date. How should I handle this? Should I just not respond? 1
OrangeParty Posted December 11, 2016 Posted December 11, 2016 Please don't just ghost her. You don't have to write an essay explaining why, but just a quick "I had a lovely time too, but I'm not feeling a spark,". Then, if she wouldn't leave you alone after that, you can refuse to respond, but I think it'll be nice for you to give her a polite but quick no first. 2
MrBojangles Posted December 11, 2016 Posted December 11, 2016 I decided to go out with a woman I met through a mutual friend. We didn't have much time to spend over lunch (an hour and a half), but it didn't go as well as I had hoped based on our phone conversations. She's really a sweet person and attractive, but is a bit crazy and has many issues. Her emotions were all over the place, even crying at one point telling me about how Curt Cobain saved her life from a car wreck. Also, on her way up to see me she stopped of a dealers place to pick up some weed. She's been telling everyone that she can't remember the last 20 years of her life from head injuries. Many of her friends including our mutual friends question whether or not she's faking to get disability because she's in and out of jobs. She knew the manager of the place we ate at and had the waitress tell him she was there, where she spent half the time talking to him, which I though was a little rude. She also left a few times to make phone calls. After the date yesterday she contacted me through voicemail and text telling me she had a wonderful time, but I haven't responded. Now she's texting asking if everything's okay because she hasn't heard from me. I'm not sure what to say to her. She is a nice person, just 'out there', WAY out there. She does live kinda far away, about an hour and a half, but I can't use that as an excuse to break up since I already knew that. I know I'll end up seeing her again at some point through our mutual friend. I just don't want things to be uncomfortable or awkward. Like I said, she is sweet, I think she means well, but I just got over a relationship with an abusive cheater ex who was nuts. I don't want to have to go through it again. I can't come out and tell her why I wasn't happy with the date. How should I handle this? Should I just not respond? YIKES! Just tell her you're just not ready to be in a relationship right now, and need time to get over your previous one. No need to be rude or hurt her feelings, just tell her you're not ready to see anyone at the moment. 1
lana-banana Posted December 11, 2016 Posted December 11, 2016 The safest thing in this situation is a polite no and wish her well. If you give her reasons, shell go all out trying to prove she's fixed them, which will eventually backfire. She sounds persistently unstable. Your best bet is to disentangle as cleanly as possible. 1
salparadise Posted December 11, 2016 Posted December 11, 2016 Yea, just say you had a nice time and enjoyed meeting her, but don't think you're a match. You don't have to give a lot of detail to justify it. If she presses for a reason (she probably won't) say it's just a feeling, nothing tangible. I wonder what all the phone calls were about. It seems odd that she'd do that in the short time that you were visiting. 2
puzzledfemale Posted December 12, 2016 Posted December 12, 2016 Be honest, but keep it simple. Say that you are still looking. This is better than leading her on. 1
smackie9 Posted December 12, 2016 Posted December 12, 2016 Good lord just be a man and tell her you are not interested in a second date and wish her luck. 1
Author Johnson1 Posted December 12, 2016 Author Posted December 12, 2016 I just texted her back and let her know. Thanks to all for the input. 1
Author Johnson1 Posted December 12, 2016 Author Posted December 12, 2016 I wonder what all the phone calls were about. It seems odd that she'd do that in the short time that you were visiting. I don't really know her. Judging by the conversation it could be anything. She was living out of her car 2 weeks ago, but now she's staying with a couple of friends. I guess doesn't matter since I'm not pursuing it.
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