ironpony Posted December 11, 2016 Posted December 11, 2016 (edited) So I tried getting back on online dating, but I find that maybe either I am too picky about some things, or the women are that I have been contacting on the site. For example: On my dating profile, one of my pictures I am doing a sensual type of pose, but was being silly and cute on purpose. A woman emailed me saying that she really liked those pose. I said thanks and what not, and she asked to see more pics, and asked me to do more sensual poses, and we had fun throwing suggestions back and forth. Some of the pics I could not do though, such as one with a watermelon, which was my idea, but I was just kidding and being silly, but I couldn't get a watermelon cause they are not in season right now, in the grocery stores where I live. I asked her to meet up and hang out after a couple of weeks of chatting, and she said that she wanted to see more pics first. I felt like she had seen enough though, since she already saw 3, so I sent her a message saying maybe I can do some later on, but does she still want to meet. She says she wants more pics first. I said well why have pics when you can have the guy? She said, "don't message me again". I am thinking Okay??? was I being too high maintenance or something, and should have just let loose more, and get more pics taken? I felt like maybe after she kept asking for pics, maybe she was just using me as a masturbation source or something, and maybe didn't want to meet up as much. Or was I wrong, and just needed to play along more, and was rushing things? Another woman messages me the next day pretty much and we chat it up for a few days. She asks me if I want to meet up, and I didn't even have to ask. So I said sure. She then asks me if I have Kik messenger on my phone. I said no. I don't really know anything about kik and just use regular texting. She said get it, then we'll meet. But I don't know if I want to download and learn this whole kik thing, just for her. I told her I might not have time right now to learn a whole new messenger, and asked if to just meet up anyway. I mean I figure she asked me to meet up, so she must want to on some level. She said that if I time to meet her, I have time to get it. I dunno, I feel like she is making me do something I don't care to do, just to meet up. It feels like ultimatums... Or is it me, and I just need to let loose, play along and need to have fun, and am perhaps being a little stubborn with the ladies? I haven't text her back yet, so should I just get the kik messenger, suck it up and learn it, since she says it won't take long? Edited December 11, 2016 by ironpony
Author ironpony Posted December 11, 2016 Author Posted December 11, 2016 Well when I i tried to download it, it says that I have to give them my paypal or credit card information, but that I will only be charged if I purchase something. But I felt weary about giving out that information just to install an app, which is suppose to be free.
TheTraveler Posted December 11, 2016 Posted December 11, 2016 Well when I i tried to download it, it says that I have to give them my paypal or credit card information, but that I will only be charged if I purchase something. But I felt weary about giving out that information just to install an app, which is suppose to be free. I've had kik for years, and don't remember doing this, but probably did(paypal)
Versacehottie Posted December 11, 2016 Posted December 11, 2016 I think it's neither about sending more pics or downloading a new app/messenger but the fact that both women are trying to make you jump through (unnecessary and additional) hoops when it comes to meeting up. It kinda sucks the momentum and life out of what could be a good thing. It's trivial what they are asking for but then why are they being so insistent--to me that signals they are not so excited about meeting up with you (or possible bitter for long online dating periods or bad experiences themselves). But to answer your question, no I don't think you are being too picky. Both of their demands are lame and presented virtually as ultimatums so yeah, that's a no-go. Good luck with the next ones. 2
joseb Posted December 12, 2016 Posted December 12, 2016 The first one sounds like a complete time waster. She just wanted you to jump through hoops, and is probably laughing with her friends when you do. That is if she is a she. The only people that ask me for "kik" are scanners, cam girls and prostitutes. Not saying there are no other users, but if they are asking you to change to that immediately, then it's fairly likely. So in short, no you are not being picky. You are just meeting typical time wasters. Don't waste any mire time on then. 1
salparadise Posted December 12, 2016 Posted December 12, 2016 Well when I i tried to download it, it says that I have to give them my paypal or credit card information, but that I will only be charged if I purchase something. But I felt weary about giving out that information just to install an app, which is suppose to be free. You aren't talking to real women. Kik is free. This is a scammer. It's a phishing scam––they're trying to get your CC# Don't jump through ANY hoops. If someone is trying to boss you around, something's up. Block'em. The other woman probably wasn't real either. You need to learn how to spot a scammer. 1
PegNosePete Posted December 12, 2016 Posted December 12, 2016 I asked her to meet up and hang out after a couple of weeks of chatting, and she said that she wanted to see more pics first. This is the point you realize she is a complete time waster. She was never interested in anything more than having a laugh with online pics. In fact you wasted too much time on her already. You should ask to meet within a week. If she says no or makes stupid excuses or in fact anything other than "yes", move on. She then asks me if I have Kik messenger on my phone. Again this is the time that you forget about her and move on. She can communicate quite effectively through the site. After that you can have a quick phone call to arrange a meeting. Any mucking around, whether with silly pics or with alternate messaging apps or whatever, is just time wasting and you should move on. I'm not sure what these 2 stories have to do with the subject line of being too picky. You ran into 2 time wasters, that is all. They certainly won't be the last... you need to learn to spot them and filter them out ASAP to avoid wasting any more of your time on them.
phineas Posted December 12, 2016 Posted December 12, 2016 The fact these women are messaging you but not wanting to meet tells me they are probably prostitutes, video chicks or dudes trolling for nude pics. Any time a woman asks me for pics i tell them "you first" anytime a woman tells me to get on kik or some other messaging app after i ask for their number i tell them to get on skype. before i got off online i made every woman get on skype before i agreed to meet. The one's who gave me flak were forgotten. too many people online now cat-fishing and frauding.
Miss Peach Posted December 12, 2016 Posted December 12, 2016 I meet guys who do the same things online. IME they are nothing but time wasters. I've never actually gone on a date with one of these guys.
bluefeather Posted December 12, 2016 Posted December 12, 2016 It sounds like you were talking to a guy, and it might have even been the same guy both times. 1
CommittedToThis Posted December 12, 2016 Posted December 12, 2016 I've "spoken" with what I believe to have been a grand total of two actual single women via a couple of different OLD sites; the rest of my messages have been spam from deleted accounts. Before the OLD sites I tried good old Craigslist and virtually every ad I responded to (about a dozen) led to spam/give me your credit card number situations. Things are definitely different now online as compared to 10 years ago when I was last on the market. Way more scams. Since the recent online time wasting I've focused 100% on real women who live in my area: single neighbors (there's a lot!), grocery store encounters, local singles activities, just being out and about and striking up conversations if I'm in the mood. I understand why OLD might not be working for an older dude like me (54), people have to wonder why I'm single at my age, right? I explained in my profile why I am single now: because I spent the last 10 years in a disordered interaction with a borderline or narcissistic woman. I figured I'd put that out there since I'm not really seriously looking for an LTR at this time and if any woman is put off by it, all the better for me. "Single WM, 54, has thumbs and walks upright..."
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