Will I ever be his #1?

[spideywoman]

Ok I'm freaking out!!!!

 

I have been so caught up that I didn't realize my period is a day late!!! I usually get it like clock work. I could pinpoint the minute. I'm never late!! I am totally freaking out right now.

 

Last time I had sex was December 30th. Can a pregnancy happen that fast?

 

If I am, it'd only be 12 days.

 

every woman is different, but yes, you can miss your period "that fast" if there has been conception. do you have any other symptoms? some women experience them, not all of course. i don't know if it's too soon to take an at-home pregnancy test. the problem with doing those too soon is a false reading obviously. if you want to know asap and can't wait, go to your OB/GYN and get a simple blood test.

 

that being said at your age i was also very regular and several times throughout my life i was convinced i was pregnant. never was. STRESS, which you have in spades, can turn your system upside down. i have been there. so, it could also be that.

 

disclaimer: i'm not a doctor just a very aware woman who reads voraciously

[whichwayisup]

Ok I'm freaking out!!!!

 

I have been so caught up that I didn't realize my period is a day late!!! I usually get it like clock work. I could pinpoint the minute. I'm never late!! I am totally freaking out right now.

 

Last time I had sex was December 30th. Can a pregnancy happen that fast?

 

If I am, it'd only be 12 days.

 

Doubt you're pregnant, you've been suffering a lot of emotional stress and that can mess with your cycle. Being one day late, don't freak out.

 

If you don't get it by the weekend, buy a pregnancy test.

 

As for Josh, well, stay out of it and away from him. He's POISON, remember that. Regardless if he's divorcing, you two are doomed as a couple. Yes I said it. Sorry. There's NO trust there, and even though you 'love' him, I believe much of what you feel is fantasy what if based and also knowing him in an affair setting. Look how he's treated you, what he's said to you, how many times he's made you cry. He's a habit, not a true love.

[jennifernyc84]

Oh god, I don't even want to imagine what would happen if I am pregnant. The only thing running through my body right now is sheer terror.

 

My boobs do feel sore but I get that sometimes right before my period. But nothing else. I don't feel like it's coming and that's why I had to calculate. I usually get hellish cramps for 3-4 days before it's starts. I don't feel any cramps at all.

 

I'm so worried I can barely breath

[winny]

Oh god, I don't even want to imagine what would happen if I am pregnant. The only thing running through my body right now is sheer terror.

 

My boobs do feel sore but I get that sometimes right before my period. But nothing else. I don't feel like it's coming and that's why I had to calculate. I usually get hellish cramps for 3-4 days before it's starts. I don't feel any cramps at all.

 

I'm so worried I can barely breath

 

Didn't you use protection? What makes you think you might get pregnant?

Missing a period or being delayed is way too common. And you have no other symptoms. Anyways you have to take a pregnancy test to confirm and unless you have any solid symptoms I don't see why you should take one even.

[sandylee1]

Take a pregnancy test and find out. The it's not too early to take one and you'll know for sure. Many kits can detect pregnancy very early post conception.

 

 

Did you use birth control?

[imsosad]

A pregnancy is possible.

There are test that can detect a pregnancy 12 days post conception, but you could still get a false negative at this point.

Buy a double pack. Take one test tomorrow morning, if it's negative and you still don't get your period, take the second test on Sunday.

Good luck, keep calm. It could very well be stress.

[MidnightBlue1980]

When I was pregnant, each time the test was positive before I was even due for my period. They make these things very sensitive these days.

[heartwhole]

You usually ovulate 14 days before you get your period, so if your period was due yesterday, that would put ovulation around Dec 28. So if you ovulated a day or two late there's a chance. You can have sex a few days before ovulation and get pregnant, but not a few days after - it would have to be within 24 hours. Stress, illness, certain medications can all affect ovulation so a late period does not necessarily mean pregnancy.

 

So who knows, go buy a 3 pack. Take one immediately for peace of mind. If it's negative, take one tomorrow morning with "first pee" since it's the most concentrated urine of the day. If that's still negative, take the last one Sunday.

[jennifernyc84]

I was taking the pill for years but they started to give me migraines, I recently stopped taking them a few months ago, back in September. I tried different kinds but they'd give me headaches. My doctor said to take a few months off of them and try again.

 

We used a condom but I must admit, we didn't put it on right away. I guess we got caught up and wasn't thinking about condoms but it wasn't long before we remembered. And he said he wasnt at all close to coming.

 

I haven't taken a test because I'm so afraid. I don't know what I'd do if it said yes. I keep running to the bathroom every 20 minutes hoping to see it, but nothing.

 

I will buy a double pack and take one tonight. If it doesn't show up, I'll take the other one after the weekend.

 

Fingers crossed.

[elaine567]

I know that he and his wife had problems with fertility, do you actually know what problems they had?

Is it possible Josh is the subfertile/infertile one?

[jennifernyc84]

I know that he and his wife had problems with fertility, do you actually know what problems they had?

Is it possible Josh is the subfertile/infertile one?

 

No it's her. He was tested and is perfectly fine

[Jemima1234]

Like others have said - it could very well be the stress causing it. You did put the condom on so fingers crossed. But if your period due pregnancy tests should give accurate result so take a test!!!

 

I had a child by my xAP- I still remember the moment I realised my period was late and went and did a test and got a positive!!! Utter panic. But you know what/ my child is best thing that ever happened to me and I don't regret it for a second. So don't panic - what often feels like the worst thing in world isn't actually.

 

But hopefully it won't come to that. Keep us posted

[sandylee1]

Oh Jenn. I know how you feel right now. Take the test and you'll know for sure. Then you either breath a sigh of relief or think about what to do. The sooner you know the better and if you're pregnant, time is of the essence.

[jennifernyc84]

Thank goodness. I didn't even need to take the test, my period just started.

 

What a relief.

[eye of the storm]

Jennifer, this was the best post ever!!! Congrats on your period!!!!!!!

[jennifernyc84]

Jennifer, this was the best post ever!!! Congrats on your period!!!!!!!

 

Thanks!! Lol

 

I know it was only a day and a half late, but it felt like forever!

 

I was never so happy to start my period. I don't even want to think about being pregnant by a married man. It has made me realize how much I don't want to continue the affair.

 

You guys have my word. I will never sleep with Josh or any other married guy ever again. Next time my period is late, I won't tremble in fear. I'll anxious and excited and praying for it not to come. I don't want to have a baby that I was praying not to have..you know what I mean.

 

That's not fair to the baby. When I get pregnant it will be planned. With a man who is free and available to me and our baby.

[whichwayisup]

Thank goodness. I didn't even need to take the test, my period just started.

 

What a relief.

 

Never ever freak out if you a few days late. Worry if it's more than a week or two! Glad you saved your money. And saved yourself A LOT of drama and fallout. Happy for you!

Edited January 12, 2017 by whichwayisup

[HeCantBreakMe]

Happy dance for you.

 

Don't waste any more of your life with ole Joshy pants get out there and find someone single who will give you the moon, babies, houses, white picket fences or whatever it is your want!

 

Best thing- Thanksgiving, Christmas, Birthdays spent together.. can Josh give you that?

[jennifernyc84]

He's emailed me on my personal email, and my work email. He's telling me that she is gone. They're having their lawyers draw up some papers and it should be settled soon. He said that he doesn't want to jump into things with me. He wants us to go back to being friends. He said a truck load of other stuff that I would have normally jumped all over, but not now. I'm feeling like that is not my character anymore. I sent him an email back. Only one.. this is what I said

 

Josh,

There’s something which has been bothering me for quite some time now, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell you this. But now I feel I cannot hold it any longer. I think we shouldn’t be friends anymore. And, trust me this is not an impulsive decision or a way of expressing my anger towards you, but a very well thought decision. You have always been my priority and I have always made crucial decisions keeping you in mind. But I don’t think I matter that much to you. You have let me down a number of times and I have always let it go. I feel as your best friend I have always stood up for you, and in your problems I have been there for you. I tried to be the best friend I could be for you.

 

But, it tears me apart to see that how little importance I have in your life. How easily you can ignore me when I need you the most. I never thought I would have to say these things to you. But I can’t keep lying to myself and keep ignoring these things which really affect me. I am sorry for doing this and I hope you would get over it soon. Thanks for everything. Please, stop calling/emailing me. I am over you Joshy. Have a nice life. It's been real.

[MidnightBlue1980]

He's emailed me on my personal email, and my work email. He's telling me that she is gone. They're having their lawyers draw up some papers and it should be settled soon. He said that he doesn't want to jump into things with me. He wants us to go back to being friends. He said a truck load of other stuff that I would have normally jumped all over, but not now. I'm feeling like that is not my character anymore. I sent him an email back. Only one.. this is what I said

 

Josh,

There’s something which has been bothering me for quite some time now, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell you this. But now I feel I cannot hold it any longer. I think we shouldn’t be friends anymore. And, trust me this is not an impulsive decision or a way of expressing my anger towards you, but a very well thought decision. You have always been my priority and I have always made crucial decisions keeping you in mind. But I don’t think I matter that much to you. You have let me down a number of times and I have always let it go. I feel as your best friend I have always stood up for you, and in your problems I have been there for you. I tried to be the best friend I could be for you.

 

But, it tears me apart to see that how little importance I have in your life. How easily you can ignore me when I need you the most. I never thought I would have to say these things to you. But I can’t keep lying to myself and keep ignoring these things which really affect me. I am sorry for doing this and I hope you would get over it soon. Thanks for everything. Please, stop calling/emailing me. I am over you Joshy. Have a nice life. It's been real.

 

I'm impressed. You realize that is basically the ultimate wish of every one on this board who has been treated like complete garbage, to be able to do what you have done. I wish I had been like that when he came back last May, showed your strength. Good for you.

 

It's not going to be easy though. Now that his wife left him, he is going to be in full out panic mode and you will be getting dozens of emails from him and he will probably show up right at your door. Keep in mind though, just because she left does not mean she is really gone. And like you said, he dumped you immediately after you slept with him to try and work things out with her. You are too young to be someone's Plan B.

[elaine567]

I'm glad you have refused to be friends with him, as he will suck you dry. You will spend all your time commiserating with him about the loss of his marriage and child. YOU will try your best to be just what he needs.

He will use you as a shoulder to cry on and he will use up all your energy, and once he is feeling better again you will find he is back dating other women and you will be back into your little "good friend that he likes to f*ck every now and again" box, whilst he gets on with his real life.

 

Stay strong.

[Poppy47]

Jen,

 

YOu did well to rebuff him but left him lots of wiggle room.

 

When you say "I think we shouldn't be friends", it leaves him room to say he thinks you should be.

 

If he comes back to you again, please consider being much firmer in your language. You are far too nice to him, and he hasn't been a friend to you in reality.

 

You sound like a lovely person. I hope you are strong enough to mean what you say.

 

Poppy.

[BuddyX]

Great job.

 

But you know, within two weeks he'll be at your doorstep. How will you handle that?

 

Also, pay attention to when you actually received the emails. Context context context. Poor Joshy is alone on the weekend. No wife no kid, got a couple cocktails in him and then he's like...."let me fire up an email to my back up plan"

 

Just saying.

[BuddyX]

And oh yeah, my ExW also wanted to be friends after the divorce. My line.."We're not friends, we're not enemies, we're strangers with memories"

 

Mic Drop

[HeCantBreakMe]

You are my hero!!