Problems with ex girlfriend that came back

[michael_92]

Hi guys,

 

I'm really looking for some solid advice. To make a long story short

-My current girlfriend left me 3 years ago for her ex. She never told me she left because of her ex, she kept lying and I found out.

After a year she came back and begged me to take her back. I accepted on the condition that from then on our relationship would be built on truth. She promised to tell truth. One of the questions I asked her was if

she told her ex boyfriend anything about me. She firmly said no. I took her back.

- Last night I found out she told her ex some very, verry private things about me I once told her in trust. She did this when they were together. I found out because her ex taunted me for this.

- When I confronted her 3 nights ago, she told me that she didn't tell him that but she told her sister, who in turn told her ex. I almost believed it. I felt something was off though and I confronted her again. This time

I pushed her in to telling the truth: she did tell him these personal things.

- I don't really what to do now. We have been together for over a year now, but I can't really trust a word she's saying. Because she lied on multiple occassions:

1. When she left me for her ex; that did some damage in our trust

2. When she promised she wouldn't lie anymore

3. When she promised she never talked about me with her ex just before I took her back

4. When she told me 3 days ago it was her sister who she told about me and her sister talked to her ex about these things.

 

My mind and heart are conflicted. I still do love her (but nowhere near as it used to be, been feeling this for a couple of months now), but I feel I can't trust her. It was a very private thing I told her, and it feels humiliating that her ex knows.

 

Also, even if I forgive her for that, she did lie to my face about it. Multiple and multiple times. How can I ever trust her not cheating in the future, or telling me truth in the future.

I just told her to leave me alone for good this time and that we were done, but she keeps calling and she kept crying the day I told her to basically

leave me alone. I was wondering what you guys think the best thing is to do right now

[ExpatInItaly]

I would call it a day on this relationship.

 

The trust is gone. I would end it and work on finding a girl who is a lot more honest and trustworthy. If you don't, this problem will come up again and again.

 

You gave it another try. It didn't work out.

[Redhead14]

Hi guys,

 

I'm really looking for some solid advice. To make a long story short

-My current girlfriend left me 3 years ago for her ex. She never told me she left because of her ex, she kept lying and I found out.

After a year she came back and begged me to take her back. I accepted on the condition that from then on our relationship would be built on truth. She promised to tell truth. One of the questions I asked her was if

she told her ex boyfriend anything about me. She firmly said no. I took her back.

- Last night I found out she told her ex some very, verry private things about me I once told her in trust. She did this when they were together. I found out because her ex taunted me for this.

- When I confronted her 3 nights ago, she told me that she didn't tell him that but she told her sister, who in turn told her ex. I almost believed it. I felt something was off though and I confronted her again. This time

I pushed her in to telling the truth: she did tell him these personal things.

- I don't really what to do now. We have been together for over a year now, but I can't really trust a word she's saying. Because she lied on multiple occassions:

1. When she left me for her ex; that did some damage in our trust

2. When she promised she wouldn't lie anymore

3. When she promised she never talked about me with her ex just before I took her back

4. When she told me 3 days ago it was her sister who she told about me and her sister talked to her ex about these things.

 

My mind and heart are conflicted. I still do love her (but nowhere near as it used to be, been feeling this for a couple of months now), but I feel I can't trust her. It was a very private thing I told her, and it feels humiliating that her ex knows.

 

Also, even if I forgive her for that, she did lie to my face about it. Multiple and multiple times. How can I ever trust her not cheating in the future, or telling me truth in the future.

I just told her to leave me alone for good this time and that we were done, but she keeps calling and she kept crying the day I told her to basically

leave me alone. I was wondering what you guys think the best thing is to do right now

 

I accepted on the condition that from then on our relationship would be built on truth -- You took her back with a clear and established boundary . . . she crossed it. Enforce it.

 

It's not about the fact that she shared private information with the EX, it's about the fact that she lied about it when you found out.

 

Go no contact and stay that way . . . forever.

[Satu]

It looks like she's just not mature enough to understand very basic things, like loyalty and honesty.

 

I think she's a long way to before she *gets it.*

 

 

Take care.

[BAcK]

Trust is the most important thing in a relationship. No trust = No relationship.

You took her back on condition that she would be honest and loyal to you. From what you are saying she has been lying all along and I am almost certain she must have lied about other things as well.

You gave her a chance and she's wasted it. Now, it's upto you to take a decision. Either live with insecurity or end it and you will be heartbroken for a while but not insecure. Goodluck.

[fromheart]

You're saying you love her, but love is built on a foundation of trust. Security with another is built on trust. There is no foundation here, and its is her issue not yours. The problems that led to it ending last time, are still there.

 

Really best to call it a day.