Sweetfish Posted December 12, 2016 Posted December 12, 2016 Im sorry this story seems too bizarre... something is missing. 2
Satu Posted December 12, 2016 Posted December 12, 2016 Is he demonstrative in other ways? Is he affectionate in other ways?
Redhead14 Posted December 12, 2016 Posted December 12, 2016 He grew up in Europe. He was married before and they were together for 6 years. He said there was no spark and they were more friends then anything else. She left him. I believe he wants someone to live with him as he mentioned that once before. The marriage i take it is his one and only major rs as he hasnt mentioned aby others and that ended several years ago. He is in his early 40s. We met through a mutual interest group. He went a couple of times and then asked me out. On the first date he was quite chatty actually. But from there its been not much talk at all. We see each other a night during the week. Usually one or two night on yhe weekend. We dont live together. He said there was no spark and they were more friends then anything else. -- History is repeating itself . . . he hasnt mentioned aby others -- Surprise, surprise . . . he's never had a "relationship" and now you know why. On the first date he was quite chatty actually -- Well, once a year he can have a conversation. You might at least be able to look forward to a conversation on each anniversary you have with him . . . 1
Author foolinlove79 Posted December 12, 2016 Author Posted December 12, 2016 He said there was no spark and they were more friends then anything else. -- History is repeating itself . . . he hasnt mentioned aby others -- Surprise, surprise . . . he's never had a "relationship" and now you know why. On the first date he was quite chatty actually -- Well, once a year he can have a conversation. You might at least be able to look forward to a conversation on each anniversary you have with him . . . Lol...in some ways i feel like an absolute hypocrit. My ex and i were on amd off cos he was outgoing and like lots of conversation. We were on and off for years. I am over that and know it wasnt a good rs. And yet here i am complaining about the same thing but the situatuom is reversed. Although i dont want the same rs i had previously. But i am lonely in this. 2
Author foolinlove79 Posted December 12, 2016 Author Posted December 12, 2016 I dealt with a lot last year..break up of long term ****ty rs. The passing of someone very close to me. I didnt date for 7 or 8 months. I met this person and i suppose i was bit lonely so went out with him not really looking to the future. And now a year on here i am. I hate hurting people. I know some people can easily discard people. I am not that way. I have been walking around with my head in the clouds. Not facing what is reality i suppose. 1
Sweetfish Posted December 12, 2016 Posted December 12, 2016 I dealt with a lot last year..break up of long term ****ty rs. The passing of someone very close to me. I didnt date for 7 or 8 months. I met this person and i suppose i was bit lonely so went out with him not really looking to the future. And now a year on here i am. I hate hurting people. I know some people can easily discard people. I am not that way. I have been walking around with my head in the clouds. Not facing what is reality i suppose. So what you have here is a rebound guy... thats all. You like the feeling of being loved or someone loving you. Its sucks.. but the best for you and him is break up with him... but do it honorably. Dont point fingers... dont say its not you its me... just tell him the truth.. 1
Satu Posted December 12, 2016 Posted December 12, 2016 I dealt with a lot last year..break up of long term ****ty rs. The passing of someone very close to me. I didnt date for 7 or 8 months. I met this person and i suppose i was bit lonely so went out with him not really looking to the future. And now a year on here i am. I hate hurting people. I know some people can easily discard people. I am not that way. I have been walking around with my head in the clouds. Not facing what is reality i suppose. I think the truth is that you're not feeling it, and want something more meaningful. If thats the case, there's no shame in it.
Author foolinlove79 Posted December 12, 2016 Author Posted December 12, 2016 Im just so disappointed i thought i had met someone who understood me and we would get on well together. . 1
Satu Posted December 12, 2016 Posted December 12, 2016 Romantic disappointments are a fact of life. Sad but true. He's just not the right man for you. In a very kind way, begin the process of moving on. Take care. 1
Redhead14 Posted December 12, 2016 Posted December 12, 2016 I dealt with a lot last year..break up of long term ****ty rs. The passing of someone very close to me. I didnt date for 7 or 8 months. I met this person and i suppose i was bit lonely so went out with him not really looking to the future. And now a year on here i am. I hate hurting people. I know some people can easily discard people. I am not that way. I have been walking around with my head in the clouds. Not facing what is reality i suppose. Listen, you aren't doing him any favors by staying with him. It's already wearing on you and the longer you try to tolerate the situation, the more lonely and miserable you will be feeling. It's not about discarding, it's about recognizing that the relationship doesn't work for you and leaving with a lesser amount of pain/hurt than if you did it months from now. If it's not working for you, it's not going to work for him either. You're both going to be suffering. And, yeah, sure I might recommend having a conversation with a partner about something that's troubling, etc. before you make a decision to leave after one year, but in this case, the writing is on the wall. He's been the way he is for a very long time. He's not going to change. He's not going through some period of time where he's feeling down or less talkative or something like that, this is engrained in him. He will not change. He might put up a good front if he realizes how "serious" the issue is for a little while but he will revert back to his ways fairly soon. He can't wear a facade forever . . . 1
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