Unsure... [after a year I don't feel close to him at all]

[foolinlove79]

So I've been seeing this man for about a year now. He seems to have some problems and I'm not sure what I've got myself into now. He tells me he loves me all the time. He does thoughtful things for me like makes me coffee some mornings etc. I know that probably sounds funny to some people but to me being thoughtful means a lot.

 

But after a year I don't feel close to him at all. I knew he was shy when we met and I am the same way. Pretty quiet too. But I feel like a year in we never really have a proper conversation..about anything. There are times when we have been out with people, well actually everytime, and he says nothing. And when someone speaks to him he will respond with a one word answer. I find it quite rude. I mean as I said I am shy too and I am not good in social situations, but you have to make some effort. He just sits there and says nothing and its strange. I feel uncomfortable.

 

And then sometimes he will send me a message and say I'm sorry I've been distant lately. I'm just going through one of "those times".

 

Also when we have been out and I have tried to start a conversation over dinner or something its the same. I get one word answers and it never goes anywhere. It is a bit awkward honestly. I mean I am ****e at conversation and small talk but I think you have to try a bit. It's like he could sit there in silence the whole time and I find that awkward. And I just don't feel connected to him at all. I don't feel close to him at all.

 

My ex was "a talker". And i hated it. It was exhausting. But its like I've gone to the other end of the spectrum now. And that's an issue too.

 

We have only been together a year and he has also totally lost interest in sex. I wont go into that much but I just find it a bit strange that a man has no interest in it. He has had a few issues in that area but I wont go into that either. I know he isnt cheating and I know he finds me attractive. So I'm not sure what that is about.

 

Anyway only a year in and questioning the whole thing. I've told myself give it time. It will come together etc. But it just isn't. He seems like a caring person. I think he would be loyal and I could depend on him if I needed him. And that is important. But at the same time things are not right.

 

I don't even know how to bring up the subject. I mean we are who we are so I can't say you need to talk to me more. My ex said that to me and it just made me stress everytime we were together, trying to come up with something to say. People are who they are. They cant change.

 

Anyway. Just had to vent.

[Scarlett.O'hara]

How much time are you willing to give this exactly?

 

Like you said, people don't change. Especially not one of the fundamental aspects of their personality.

 

In fairness to your relationship, I do think it is a good idea to address your compatibility concerns with your boyfriend. You don't have to make any demands of him, just let him know how you feel.

 

Maybe he will be willing to find some compromises. If not, well, at least he will have some time to prepare himself for the possibility that this relationship isn't going to work for you in the long run.

[Redhead14]

So I've been seeing this man for about a year now. He seems to have some problems and I'm not sure what I've got myself into now. He tells me he loves me all the time. He does thoughtful things for me like makes me coffee some mornings etc. I know that probably sounds funny to some people but to me being thoughtful means a lot.

 

But after a year I don't feel close to him at all. I knew he was shy when we met and I am the same way. Pretty quiet too. But I feel like a year in we never really have a proper conversation..about anything. There are times when we have been out with people, well actually everytime, and he says nothing. And when someone speaks to him he will respond with a one word answer. I find it quite rude. I mean as I said I am shy too and I am not good in social situations, but you have to make some effort. He just sits there and says nothing and its strange. I feel uncomfortable.

 

And then sometimes he will send me a message and say I'm sorry I've been distant lately. I'm just going through one of "those times".

 

Also when we have been out and I have tried to start a conversation over dinner or something its the same. I get one word answers and it never goes anywhere. It is a bit awkward honestly. I mean I am ****e at conversation and small talk but I think you have to try a bit. It's like he could sit there in silence the whole time and I find that awkward. And I just don't feel connected to him at all. I don't feel close to him at all.

 

My ex was "a talker". And i hated it. It was exhausting. But its like I've gone to the other end of the spectrum now. And that's an issue too.

 

We have only been together a year and he has also totally lost interest in sex. I wont go into that much but I just find it a bit strange that a man has no interest in it. He has had a few issues in that area but I wont go into that either. I know he isnt cheating and I know he finds me attractive. So I'm not sure what that is about.

 

Anyway only a year in and questioning the whole thing. I've told myself give it time. It will come together etc. But it just isn't. He seems like a caring person. I think he would be loyal and I could depend on him if I needed him. And that is important. But at the same time things are not right.

 

I don't even know how to bring up the subject. I mean we are who we are so I can't say you need to talk to me more. My ex said that to me and it just made me stress everytime we were together, trying to come up with something to say. People are who they are. They cant change.

 

Anyway. Just had to vent.

 

Also when we have been out and I have tried to start a conversation over dinner or something its the same. I get one word answers and it never goes anywhere. It is a bit awkward honestly. I mean I am ****e at conversation and small talk but I think you have to try a bit. It's like he could sit there in silence the whole time and I find that awkward. And I just don't feel connected to him at all. I don't feel close to him at all.

 

You've been dealing with this for a year -- imagine 5, 10, 15 years . . .

 

If you don't feel close to him how can you be in love with him? You aren't in love with HIM, you are in love with the idea of him and a relationship. What you have now is what you will always have if you stay with him. People do change if/when they realize that the way they are isn't working for THEM, they don't usually change for SOMEONE else.

 

I'm sorry I've been distant lately. I'm just going through one of "those times". -- People who pull away often or push partners away on a regular basis aren't bonded to their partner very well. Sure, everyone goes through a little period of wanting to be by themselves to deal with something that's bothering them, etc., but it should only be a day or so, at which time, they usually share what the problem is and seek out their partner. A pattern like this is a sign that there isn't a deep enough connection.

 

Sure, he's staying in the relationship too but, on some level, it's working for HIM so why would he let go. You tolerate his silence and behavior and still give him what he wants/needs apparently so he thinks you're OK with it too. And, since you don't feel as though you can have a conversation like this with him, that's what the status quo will be. And, there is a reason that you don't feel as though you can talk to him, he doesn't talk to YOU. So unless you do what you need to do for yourself, you're just stringing yourself along.

[Satu]

It tends to be the case that people who don't communicate are often frightened to.

 

One can only wonder what it is that he's not saying...

 

His silence makes him emotionally unavailable, which means that your emotional needs are going unmet.

 

Lack of confidence?

 

If you really knew me, you wouldn't like me?

 

Feels unsafe around people?

 

Puzzling.

 

 

Take care.

[aileD]

It tends to be the case that people who don't communicate are often frightened to.

 

One can only wonder what it is that he's not saying...

 

His silence makes him emotionally unavailable, which means that your emotional needs are going unmet.

 

Lack of confidence?

 

If you really knew me, you wouldn't like me?

 

Feels unsafe around people?

 

Puzzling.

 

 

Take care.

 

Go to the other man/other woman forum and read some of the posts of people who find themselves in affairs and destroying their lives because the same things that you are missing in this relationship are missing in their marriages.

 

If you're having these issues now, is not going to get better and you will be out searching for something more..that connection...and you'll find it with someone because it is out there....

 

It's only been a year. It's just not going to work long term. Cut loose now

[spiderowl]

I learned a lot from a guy who was much better communicator than me. He would go straight to the point; for example, he would say if he was feeling disconnected or lonely. He would ask me how I felt. He would say when he missed me. It is the kind of conversation that a child makes, innocent but so direct and effectivem communicating feelings and saying what they need. I think you need to communicate like this with your partner. He is clearly not good at communicating - may never be - but unless you have conversations about how you are both feeling, you might as well give up. There can be no emotional intimacy without this kind of talk.

 

I appreciate you felt your previous partner was trying to change your personality by asking more, but I get the feeling that with your new guy you are fearful to ask him about what matters to him, how he feels, why he is so quiet. These are all important questions. How can closeness develop if you are literally just 'passing time' with each other?

[Gloria25]

It tends to be the case that people who don't communicate are often frightened to.

 

One can only wonder what it is that he's not saying...

 

His silence makes him emotionally unavailable, which means that your emotional needs are going unmet.

 

Lack of confidence?

 

If you really knew me, you wouldn't like me?

 

Feels unsafe around people?

 

Puzzling.

 

 

Take care.

 

I disagree. I'm a stoic woman (believe it or not) and I prefer a stoic man. Actually, the current dude I'm into appears to be on the quiet side and I'm like "Thank God!!!"

 

I don't speak much cuz I just don't care much. I find endless conversation draining. I mean, I sit around and like watch my co-workers just talk for talking's sake. They really have noting of meaning and/or importance to say.

 

I really do believe in one of Eleanor Roosevelt's sayings - which is, "Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people."

 

So, I'm sorry, sitting around discussing endless cha-cha just bores me. And, trying to pretend that I'm interested in the endless cha-cha is even more draining.

 

I mean, I do talk with people, but prefer not to. I push myself because of statement's like Satu's above - which is people start to think you're the Unibomber if you're quiet and unsociable.

 

My fav podcaster (when she had her private practice) said she had a couple come in who thought they needed to do more to be closer to each other and after a few exercises, they thanked my fav podcaster and told her that while they appreciated her efforts, that their limitations are what they are. In other words, they're both stoic people and thankfully are cool with each other being like that - it's people who aren't like them who have issue with them.

 

Some of us are just that way. Maybe it is cuz we don't trust. I grew up where trust was broken and over the years dealt with some bad people - so, I'm very cautious when it comes to people but once I open up, I'm a bundle of fun.

 

And, "emotionally unavailable"? While I've never been married - each guy I've been with can't complain. I've treated them well and been true to them. I'm also a very passionate woman. In the bedroom, especially if I'm into the guy, we're going to have great and intimate sex. The guy I recently was seeing, I was apprehensive about sleepovers and getting close and while at first I felt I did wrong about holding back - I believe my spidey senses were guiding me correctly cuz I believe he is/was seeing others and still hooked on his ex. No reason for me to get close to someone who didn't make me feel secure about "us".

 

The only thing that concerns me about my current dude is that while I'm hoping he indeed is stoic/shy - I wanna know certain things about/from him (i.e. what does he want in a RL) and need to know these things in order to decide if we're looking for the same things. And, cuz we're both sorta "stoic/quiet", it's like we go through a hot/cold - push pull thing where while we're just being stoic/quiet, I think we're wondering if the other isn't interested anymore at times. But, I'm hoping that with more time, we'll just figure out that we're into each other and the stoic thing is just the way we are (well, if he indeed is a lot like me).

 

So, 1 1/2 - 2 years in actual "dating" (not shacking up, coworkers, LDRs, friends) is where we get to find out about that person. You're at the one year mark. If he's not a match for you, then you got a decision to make. Now, I do believe you owe him brining up your concerns to see if maybe there's compromise.

 

Wishing you well in whatever you decide to do - moving forward.

[Gloria25]

BTW, did he lose interest in sex recently or has it been gradual with time? You did mention he had issues with sex.

[Shanex]

I'll quickly reply to approve what Gloria just posted. I'm also more a 'thinker' than a talker. Unbelievable considering I am sometimes quite chatty on LS, it's okay, it's the Internet and I am more prone to open myself here than with a bunch of people I barely know at a party, wedding etc. When you get to know me, or Gloria, Satu I am certain we're a good bunch. My neighbor think of me as the quietest person ever.

 

OP was venting anyway, everyone has an opinion. You still stayed together for a year which means you aren't so incompatible.

Edited December 11, 2016 by Shanex

[Satu]

I'll quickly reply to approve what Gloria just posted. I'm also more a 'thinker' than a talker. Unbelievable considering I am sometimes quite chatty on LS, it's okay, it's the Internet and I am more prone to open myself here than with a bunch of people I barely know at a party, wedding etc. When you get to know me, or Gloria, Satu I am certain were a good bunch. My neighbor think of me as the quietest person ever.

 

OP was venting anyway, everyone has an opinion. You still stayed together for a year which means you aren't so incompatible.

 

I'm generally quite quiet myself, but when I'm in the mood, I do enjoy good conversation. I'm happy to listen more than I speak.

 

I was painfully shy in the past, but I've moved on from that at last.

 

 

Here's a lyric from Joni Mitchell:

 

 

Talk to me

 

 

There was a moon and a street lamp

I didn't know I drank such a lot

Till I pissed a tequila anaconda

The full length of the parking lot!

Oh I talk too loose

Again I talk too open and free

I pay a high price for my open talking

Like you do for your silent mystery

 

Come and talk to me

Please talk to me

Talk to me talk to me

Mr. Mystery

 

We could talk about Martha

We could talk about landscapes

I'm not above gossip

But I'll sit on a secret where honor is at stake

Or we could talk about power

About Jesus and Hitler and Howard Hughes

Or Charlie Chaplin's movies

Or Bergman's nordic blues

Please just talk to me

Any old theme you choose

Just come and talk to me

Mr. Mystery talk to me

 

You could talk like a fool I'd listen

You could talk like a sage

Anyway the best of my mind

All goes down on the strings and the page

That mind picks up all these pictures

It still gets my feet up to dance

Even though it's covered with keloids

From the "slings and arrows of outrageous romance"

I stole that from Willy the Shake

You know - "Neither a borrower nor a lender be"

Romeo Romeo talk to me

 

Is your silence that golden?

Are you comfortable in it?

Is it the key to your freedom

Or is it the bars on your prison?

Are you gagged by your ribbons?

Are you really exclusive or just miserly?

You spend every sentence as if it was marked currency

Come and spend some on me

Shut me up and talk to me

I'm always talking

Chicken squawking

Please talk to me

Edited December 11, 2016 by Satu

[Lorenza]

Maybe he's got Aspergers? There are shy people and there are people who can't deal at all with any social situations.

 

In any way, that's what he is and if you're tired of it already, you will get increasingly more tired in the future. I do agree that being able to find topics to talk about is important. We're supposedly choosing a partner for life and it's gonna be a pretty tedious life if you've got nothing to talk about. Or if you can't share meaningful silence. Love and passion fades and one of the things that keeps people together further into a relationship, is being good friends and partners.

 

You don't need a talker either. You just need someone you can have a both-sided conversation with. Look for someone you like for their thoughts and personality.

[Sweetfish]

So I've been seeing this man for about a year now. He seems to have some problems and I'm not sure what I've got myself into now. He tells me he loves me all the time. He does thoughtful things for me like makes me coffee some mornings etc. I know that probably sounds funny to some people but to me being thoughtful means a lot.

 

But its not enough... you pass that stage of love and honeymooning and your looking for more in the relationship.. that's fair

 

But after a year I don't feel close to him at all. I knew he was shy when we met and I am the same way. Pretty quiet too. But I feel like a year in we never really have a proper conversation..about anything. There are times when we have been out with people, well actually everytime, and he says nothing. And when someone speaks to him he will respond with a one word answer. I find it quite rude. I mean as I said I am shy too and I am not good in social situations, but you have to make some effort. He just sits there and says nothing and its strange. I feel uncomfortable.

 

Can you define what you consider a proper conversation? Like your future? His likes and dislikes?

 

So he is shy and probably has poor social skills.. How many people is he being pushed into these social situations and are they like minded people?

 

Also when we have been out and I have tried to start a conversation over dinner or something its the same. I get one word answers and it never goes anywhere. It is a bit awkward honestly. I mean I am ****e at conversation and small talk but I think you have to try a bit. It's like he could sit there in silence the whole time and I find that awkward. And I just don't feel connected to him at all. I don't feel close to him at all.

 

 

So how did you guys even get in a relationship if its just awkward silence? Does he like anything and do you guys have the same interest?

 

My ex was "a talker". And i hated it. It was exhausting. But its like I've gone to the other end of the spectrum now. And that's an issue too.

 

This boyfriend is like a economy car and you expecting him to be a race car in the future. Knowing he was shy from the get go.

 

I think you need to dump this guy and work on you. I think you have a vision of being social and not shy anymore and its not fair that you also being an "economy car" expect more from him and him not knowing you expect more from him.

 

as far as the sex part... I think your starting to feel more like friends now.. its not romantic or intimate anymore, but you may feel guilty for leaving.

 

I would have a talk about his openness and his social skills if you really love him... but honestly I don't think you do as you have not stated in this post that you love him back.. But that's an assumption.. or maybe your not over your ex?

[Gr8fuln2020]

foolinlove79. It would drive me a little batty if I were dating any of the ladies on here who claim to be 'stoic', 'thinkers', 'quiet', etc. Not everyone who enjoys conversation simply talk about rubbish, gossip, etc. I do not like small talk, but talk about all kinds of important, fun issues that fulfill the soul. Hate gossip...It sounds to me that you and your current bf are not compatible. You find his silence awkward as I and many others would. Especially when you are trying to start and develop a conversation and you get chirping crickets.

[Thenicegirl]

A year is a really long time to be with someone who refuses to open up at all.

[foolinlove79]

But its not enough... you pass that stage of love and honeymooning and your looking for more in the relationship.. that's fair

 

 

 

Can you define what you consider a proper conversation? Like your future? His likes and dislikes?

 

So he is shy and probably has poor social skills.. How many people is he being pushed into these social situations and are they like minded people?

 

 

 

 

So how did you guys even get in a relationship if its just awkward silence? Does he like anything and do you guys have the same interest?

 

 

 

This boyfriend is like a economy car and you expecting him to be a race car in the future. Knowing he was shy from the get go.

 

I think you need to dump this guy and work on you. I think you have a vision of being social and not shy anymore and its not fair that you also being an "economy car" expect more from him and him not knowing you expect more from him.

 

as far as the sex part... I think your starting to feel more like friends now.. its not romantic or intimate anymore, but you may feel guilty for leaving.

 

I would have a talk about his openness and his social skills if you really love him... but honestly I don't think you do as you have not stated in this post that you love him back.. But that's an assumption.. or maybe your not over your ex?

 

I dont think i expect any more from him then i give. I appreciate being quiet and shy and not good in social situations. I dont expect him to come to things i know he will hate like ny friends parties because i know he would hate it.

 

But i mean we went out with his family the other week and anytime anyone asked him something he would just give a one word response and looked thoroughly bored the whole time. I had to do more talking then him in the end. I had to really push myself to do it because i dont even know them well and dont like situations like that. But to not be rude i made an effort

 

As far as conversation goes i dont care what he says. Its a bit awkward spending an entire day with only a fee words passing between you.

 

I appreciate being able to spend quiet time together. I never had that with my ex. And like i said it was exhausting. But to have nothing to say ever....

[foolinlove79]

But its not enough... you pass that stage of love and honeymooning and your looking for more in the relationship.. that's fair

 

 

 

Can you define what you consider a proper conversation? Like your future? His likes and dislikes?

 

So he is shy and probably has poor social skills.. How many people is he being pushed into these social situations and are they like minded people?

 

 

 

 

So how did you guys even get in a relationship if its just awkward silence? Does he like anything and do you guys have the same interest?

 

 

 

This boyfriend is like a economy car and you expecting him to be a race car in the future. Knowing he was shy from the get go.

 

I think you need to dump this guy and work on you. I think you have a vision of being social and not shy anymore and its not fair that you also being an "economy car" expect more from him and him not knowing you expect more from him.

 

as far as the sex part... I think your starting to feel more like friends now.. its not romantic or intimate anymore, but you may feel guilty for leaving.

 

I would have a talk about his openness and his social skills if you really love him... but honestly I don't think you do as you have not stated in this post that you love him back.. But that's an assumption.. or maybe your not over your ex?

 

And i dont even think i would mind so much if i felt like we were good friends. But when im with my girlfriends we can have a chat. I dont even have that.

 

And im not talking about having stupid small talk constantly. I hate that. I just think in an rs you need to talk sometimes. Just to know about the person tou are with. After a year i dont even know that much aboit him

[foolinlove79]

Also when we have been out and I have tried to start a conversation over dinner or something its the same. I get one word answers and it never goes anywhere. It is a bit awkward honestly. I mean I am ****e at conversation and small talk but I think you have to try a bit. It's like he could sit there in silence the whole time and I find that awkward. And I just don't feel connected to him at all. I don't feel close to him at all.

 

You've been dealing with this for a year -- imagine 5, 10, 15 years . . .

 

If you don't feel close to him how can you be in love with him? You aren't in love with HIM, you are in love with the idea of him and a relationship. What you have now is what you will always have if you stay with him. People do change if/when they realize that the way they are isn't working for THEM, they don't usually change for SOMEONE else.

 

I'm sorry I've been distant lately. I'm just going through one of "those times". -- People who pull away often or push partners away on a regular basis aren't bonded to their partner very well. Sure, everyone goes through a little period of wanting to be by themselves to deal with something that's bothering them, etc., but it should only be a day or so, at which time, they usually share what the problem is and seek out their partner. A pattern like this is a sign that there isn't a deep enough connection.

 

Sure, he's staying in the relationship too but, on some level, it's working for HIM so why would he let go. You tolerate his silence and behavior and still give him what he wants/needs apparently so he thinks you're OK with it too. And, since you don't feel as though you can have a conversation like this with him, that's what the status quo will be. And, there is a reason that you don't feel as though you can talk to him, he doesn't talk to YOU. So unless you do what you need to do for yourself, you're just stringing yourself along.

 

I love time to myself too. Im an introvert and i cant stand being with people all the time. I dont get it but. How can he be ok with this. How can he be in love with me either when sometimes it seems like he doesnt even want me around. Like im there but he says nothing so i feel ignored.

[Redhead14]

I dont think i expect any more from him then i give. I appreciate being quiet and shy and not good in social situations. I dont expect him to come to things i know he will hate like ny friends parties because i know he would hate it.

 

But i mean we went out with his family the other week and anytime anyone asked him something he would just give a one word response and looked thoroughly bored the whole time. I had to do more talking then him in the end. I had to really push myself to do it because i dont even know them well and dont like situations like that. But to not be rude i made an effort

 

As far as conversation goes i dont care what he says. Its a bit awkward spending an entire day with only a fee words passing between you.

 

I appreciate being able to spend quiet time together. I never had that with my ex. And like i said it was exhausting. But to have nothing to say ever....

 

How can there be a relationship if one or both parties don't "relate"? This is not a relationship, it's just two people co-existing . . .

 

You will find yourself feeling lonely while being in a "relationship" and there is nothing worse than that . . .

 

And, someone said in a post above that the fact you've lasted a year indicates that you two are compatible. I say, you have no idea whether or not you are compatible if there isn't mutual, meaningful and open conversation. And, non-stop blabbering or talking just to fill silence, isn't good either.

 

I dont think i expect any more from him then i give. -- Yeah, but you give him more than you are getting, that's for sure.

 

You don't feel close to him because -- you're not.

[Gr8fuln2020]

I'm sorry, but this sounds all too crazy. How, after a year, could you still be in a relationship with someone who 'literally' does not communicate? This is not someone who is simply introverted. I have dated introverted women and conversation has always been readily available. This sounds like someone with anti-social behavior or incapable of day to day conversation. Have you ever seen him have a complete conversation with someone else?

 

An introvert DOES NOT MEAN they are incapable of having a conversation, especially with his/her own significant other.

[Satu]

Did he by any chance go to single sex school?

 

I did, and it took me a long time to get comfortable enough with the opposite sex, to actually enjoy conversation.

[foolinlove79]

I love time to myself too. Im an introvert and i cant stand being with people all the time. I dont get it but. How can he be ok with this. How can he be in love with me either when sometimes it seems like he doesnt even want me around. Like im there but he says nothing so i feel ignored.

 

One example of me trying to start a conversatiom is he picked me up one day and said he got out of work early. So i said oh yeah not much work on then. He replied...yeah obviously or i wouldnt of got out early. Then i felt uncomfortable and like id daid something stupid. I was just trying to chat with him.

[foolinlove79]

It tends to be the case that people who don't communicate are often frightened to.

 

One can only wonder what it is that he's not saying...

 

His silence makes him emotionally unavailable, which means that your emotional needs are going unmet.

 

Lack of confidence?

 

If you really knew me, you wouldn't like me?

 

Feels unsafe around people?

 

Puzzling.

 

 

Take care.

 

It is pizzling. Because i am a caring person. Ive never had a go at him about anything. Ive supported him in the things he has wanted to do. I feel like there is something he is hiding from me.

[foolinlove79]

I'm sorry, but this sounds all too crazy. How, after a year, could you still be in a relationship with someone who 'literally' does not communicate? This is not someone who is simply introverted. I have dated introverted women and conversation has always been readily available. This sounds like someone with anti-social behavior or incapable of day to day conversation. Have you ever seen him have a complete conversation with someone else?

 

An introvert DOES NOT MEAN they are incapable of having a conversation, especially with his/her own significant other.

 

Now that u ask no i dont think i have ever seen him have a conversation with anyone. Ive seen a few sentences between him and a couple of other people. He seems a bit better with his parents actually. They do most of the talking but he does seem to open up a bit more to them. Sometimes its like he is annoyed im trying to talk to him. Maybe im misinterpreting that. But thats how it comes across

[Redhead14]

What do you know about him? What is his previous relationship history? How old is he? What does he like to do with his free time? Where did he go to school? Did he go to college? What are his long term dating goals? Where does he see himself in 5 years?

 

How did this "relationship" start? How often do you see each other?

[foolinlove79]

What do you know about him? What is his previous relationship history? How old is he? What does he like to do with his free time? Where did he go to school? Did he go to college? What are his long term dating goals? Where does he see himself in 5 years?

 

How did this "relationship" start? How often do you see each other?

 

He grew up in Europe. He was married before and they were together for 6 years. He said there was no spark and they were more friends then anything else. She left him. I believe he wants someone to live with him as he mentioned that once before. The marriage i take it is his one and only major rs as he hasnt mentioned aby others and that ended several years ago. He is in his early 40s.

 

We met through a mutual interest group. He went a couple of times and then asked me out. On the first date he was quite chatty actually. But from there its been not much talk at all.

 

We see each other a night during the week. Usually one or two night on yhe weekend. We dont live together.