breakupthrowaway663 Posted December 11, 2016 Posted December 11, 2016 Success really is the best revenge eh? I'm curious to hear some of your stories about how your recovered from a break up and went on to do much better in your life. Maybe you had a big career change, traveled the world, or found a beautiful person who made you wonder why you were so caught up on that ex. Happy Saturday 3
Nowty V Posted December 11, 2016 Posted December 11, 2016 I survived. Surviving is the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I survived, and I grew. 3
StrangerThanFiction Posted December 11, 2016 Posted December 11, 2016 I was with a guy for 7 years. Ended it after I found proof he had been living a double life with me and another woman for the 2 years previous. I was really messed up after the break up. Even though our whole relationship had been based on lies and just general terribleness I missed him so much and believed that I would never love someone the way I loved him and wondered how my life could possibly move forward without this man who had been such a big part of my life up to that point. About 3 days after the BU I decided that I needed to accept that it was over and it was for the best and that I wouldn't allow myself to stay this miserable forever. I immediately blocked him from everything. I started eating healthier and exercising more. I downloaded a bunch of self hypnosis tracks that really helped me shift perspective and release a lot of the anger, hurt, and anxiety. I took up meditation to help quiet all those thoughts racing through my head. Then one day a few months later I was going about my day when all of a sudden I realized that I didn't hurt anymore and hadn't even thought about him for a few weeks when before he was all I could think about. I thought back to all the horrible things he had done to me and I realized I felt nothing. It was like all of it had happened to someone else. And best of all, I realized I felt nothing for him. I was truly at peace with being single and with my life. Not long after this I got a new phone and lost my block list and within days I received a text from him asking how I was doing. I considered not responding but then I figured what the hell so I responded. We talked every day and I kept things friendly and he kept bringing up coming to visit me (he moved to a different city after I kicked him out of our apartment) but I always brushed him off with a laugh. Then I met someone new through work. After he found out, he told me he still loved me and begged and begged for me to give him another chance. I said no, he had lost that option a long time ago. I won't lie and say that it didn't feel a little good to do so. After that we stopped talking for good. So, now here I am going through a break up with that new man I had met but I know I can get through this one because I got over that one. This was a much shorter relationship (6 months). It doesn't hurt any less, but I know I've been through worse. Hopefully I'll be back on here sooner rather than later with another recovery success story lol. I should be a pro at it by this point 4
basil67 Posted December 11, 2016 Posted December 11, 2016 Left my first husband. Two months later met my now partner of nearly 25yrs 2
Been Posted December 11, 2016 Posted December 11, 2016 Mines long but if I could recover from mine so can other people. Dated my ex but she would always runback to her ex. And then she would beg to comeback. And I would take her back. Fast forward and we are togeather again. Living togeather. We end up getting engaged. Then she grows distant. I find out she's cheating on me. The WHOLE time. And here's the kicker:we work at the same job and she's cheating on me with someone we work with! So i break up with her and it was nasty. She broke things of mine. Stole money. I in return take EVERYTHING I ever bought her:clothes,Jewelry,etc. What was hard was we work togeather. So I had to see her. And him. And it was hard. Not because I wanted her back but I was angry. I couldn't get over the lies and betrayal. It bothered me. Make matters worse she acted like a child at work. And I couldn't stop obsessing over the lies/betrayal-It seemed it's all I talked about. Kept Replaying everything in my head. Over and over again. So I one day came up with a plan. For 60 days I wouldn't talk to anyone. I would go to the gym. Work on myself. So that's what I did for 60 days. I would workout for HOURS by myself. Alone with my thoughts. And eventually I stopped thinking about WHY she did what she did. Didn't have the energy to think about it 2
OatsAndHall Posted December 11, 2016 Posted December 11, 2016 My separation and divorce devastated me, on many levels. It was the worst time period in my life and I taught me how to simply survive as there were times when that was the only thing that kept me going. I continued to move forward with my life, through the separation and the divorce. I now feel like I am back on track professionally as many of my career choices were based on supporting the family. I really wasn't furthering myself professionally. Now I have a job that I am very comfortable in, the people in the community seem to appreciate the work I put in and all of those doors that shut on me when I was married are now wide open. I realized very quickly that the stress of the marriage had put me in a bad place emotionally, even before we split. I had lost many of my coping skills and relied far too much on medication to get through my marriage. I am still on medication for depression and anxiety but I have realized that I need far less of it and am working back down to a baseline level. Outside of that, I have learned so much about myself and what I want out of life. 3
AT15 Posted December 11, 2016 Posted December 11, 2016 Met a guy in 1997. Chased him for 3 years. He used me and gave me the maybe we can get together in the future speech ( we were in our early 20s). I moved back home to my mothers house feeling heartbroken and just generally broken. One day about about 6 months after the break up, I wondered into a modeling agency. To my surprise the agency loved me and I started working immediately, booking ads and commercials. A few months after that, I won Miss "my state" USA and went to Miss USA pageant. I did very well in the beauty pageant and all his friends were watching the girl he dumped on national television in a beauty pageant. He called and called and called after that. We eventually became friends afterwards, but I never trusted him with my heart again. Success is the best revenge 4
Renard99 Posted December 11, 2016 Posted December 11, 2016 My ex had a sheltered upbringing. When I met her at university she was the cute shy girl and I was the typical geek but we both loved the same music. We liked nothing more than spending time alone watching movies together or chilling listening to music and discovering new bands. After university we saved as much as we could for a few years, got a place together and started our careers. All was going fine, even if money was a bit tight, and we made the best of what we had. We had our 'date nights' and 'movie nights' and would have friends over. Then one day, some new, much younger, people started where she worked. They'd invite her out to parties and 'girly' nights out and she rapidly became distant. She'd phone me as I was dishing up dinner to say 'Sorry, staying out with the girls after work' or she'd forget that we had friends over and would book tickets to the theatre with her work colleagues. She'd post group photos all over facebook of the parties and girls nights out. I confronted her when she came back late one night and said we need to try and work this out, "what can we do to save this relationship?", what I got was....... "I don't want to save it, I just don't love you anymore" After nearly 8 years together I was devastated and in shock. I got up, put my jacket on and walked for miles and miles until the sun started to come up. Bought doughnuts in 24 hour store, went to a bench in a park and cried. She took two weeks to move out and that whole time I was a mess. Grew a beard, barely talked and lost weight. It really hit me hard and for the next 3 months I was rock bottom and felt like I was beyond help As I was in financial trouble, I eventually rented out the second room to my best buddy.........and that was the beginning of my recovery. We'd known each other for years and started to live like two bachelors. Made the house a bachelor pad and started to live life fully. With his help my finances rebounded and I rejoined my circle of friends. This circle of friends was mainly couples and they thought our bachelor life was funny after a year or so, so they set us up online dating profiles. I thought it was silly but ran with it. I join up to this one site and just as I think 'this isn't for me' I get a message. Unfortunately, I'd already hit 'delete profile' so saw who it was from but not the content......... fast forward two months and I decide to try again, joining a totally different site this time. As I'm searching I see a familiar face.... it was the girl that messaged me on the other site months before. I send a message and get one back almost immediately. We chat over email for about a month before going to dinner. We hit it off immediately and talk for hours and we end up being the last people in the restaurant..................... 5 years later, in September this year, we got married and still going strong. 3
Satu Posted December 11, 2016 Posted December 11, 2016 I won't go into details of the breakup, lets just say that I moved to live in a different country to be with someone, and it didn't work out. I then went to live by myself in a third country, where I now live. After my one and only painful breakup, I cried every day for six months. Not snuffly little sobs, but crying that involved my whole body almost convulsing. I felt like a ghost, disconnected from everything and everyone. I wasn't sure that I even wanted to get better. After about 8 months, the crying became less frequent. I found a good therapist and decided I wanted to live, even though I wasn't sure if enough of me could be scraped together to build a functioning person from. Kept going to therapy, kept journalling, kept going the to park, fed the birds, did a lot of reading, did a lot of Tai Chi. Slowly, slowly, started to feel better. Then: I was walking down the street one day and had to stop, because I had a really weird feeling that was kind of scary... And then I realised what the feeling was: I was happy again, after a very long time of being very unhappy. Then I knew I would be ok. It took me just under two years to fully heal. Now I am a stably happy person who loves life. I love it more than I ever have, and never imagined that life could be as good as it is. So it took me a while, but it was worth the journey. 6
Kelley Posted December 11, 2016 Posted December 11, 2016 All I'm going to say is that my ex was removed for a reason, to show me how much he was holding me back, and how much I compromised me to put him first. All that for him to cheat on me! Even though I was devastated, I have grown, I love my life without him and I'm happy now. Go through the pain, learn a lesson and use it to fuel improving your own life. 3
Slimtripper Posted December 12, 2016 Posted December 12, 2016 Nice to see some positive stories I've had two weeks. First few days were hard. Second week started to be tough but iv been out dating other girls, doing things, not talking about it to everyone. I really think u have to be strict with urself. Don't let ur mind control your thoughts. It does hurt but you have to get used to going about ur normal life with that pain. Then gradually it gets smaller n smaller. And no contact, on any level. I would never get back with my ex now n the girl I saw yesterday was way hotter. Commit to moving on is ur best option, it dramatically decreases ur pain period. Rip off that band aid n go for it 3
JasonBourne Posted December 12, 2016 Posted December 12, 2016 I've had two weeks. First few days were hard. Second week started to be tough but iv been out dating other girls, doing things, not talking about it to everyone. I really think u have to be strict with urself. Don't let ur mind control your thoughts. It does hurt but you have to get used to going about ur normal life with that pain. Then gradually it gets smaller n smaller. And no contact, on any level. I would never get back with my ex now n the girl I saw yesterday was way hotter. Commit to moving on is ur best option, it dramatically decreases ur pain period. Rip off that band aid n go for it I don't think I'm ready to date anyone, just yet. Plus, I don't have Alicia Keys' number am going to stop talking to her, though. Good that you're moving forward with such a positive mindset, man. You sound like you've already made a lot of progress. 1
Slimtripper Posted December 12, 2016 Posted December 12, 2016 I don't think I'm ready to date anyone, just yet. Plus, I don't have Alicia Keys' number am going to stop talking to her, though. Good that you're moving forward with such a positive mindset, man. You sound like you've already made a lot of progress. Building as many new memories as quickly as possible I think is the key. Two weeks seems a lifetime ago. I've been to 3 countries since. Those memories are now part of my life and make up. An ex gf seems like it wa so long ago. It does still hurt a bit but no way u wanna let someone else govern your happiness going fwd. Def give dating a go. It's jus good to be around new people. 2
JasonBourne Posted December 12, 2016 Posted December 12, 2016 Building as many new memories as quickly as possible I think is the key. Two weeks seems a lifetime ago. I've been to 3 countries since. Those memories are now part of my life and make up. An ex gf seems like it wa so long ago. It does still hurt a bit but no way u wanna let someone else govern your happiness going fwd. Def give dating a go. It's jus good to be around new people. Of course, happiness shouldn't come from other people anyway. I've always believed that. Three countries? You're right. New scenery definitely helps... Like in movies where someone moves to a new city after a break up, lol. Perhaps I'll try online dating though, just to ease into it. Even if only to remind me that there are other women out there, lol.
Author breakupthrowaway663 Posted December 12, 2016 Author Posted December 12, 2016 Awesome stories here . I'm personally at the 3 week NC mark and have found the feelings are getting worse before they will eventually get better. It's sinking in that there's no looking back and I'm slow to process that fact. 2
Slimtripper Posted December 12, 2016 Posted December 12, 2016 Awesome stories here . I'm personally at the 3 week NC mark and have found the feelings are getting worse before they will eventually get better. It's sinking in that there's no looking back and I'm slow to process that fact. Face the fact that it's over. Until you do that it won't get better. It does feel bad for a while but the last thing u wanna do is look back in a few years n know u wasted months of your life for no reason 1
ilovemefirst Posted December 12, 2016 Posted December 12, 2016 My last bf was abusive and manipulative. I could not leave him because i felt i would be alone. I finally ended it a year later and moved away and started my own business. I met someone even better and am marrying him next year! Happiest i've ever been. Never settle! 1
keiji Posted December 12, 2016 Posted December 12, 2016 My now ex-wife left me for someone else after cheating for who knows how long. It was a 9-year relationship and she was on fertility meds when the whole affair exploded. A couple of days after leaving our apartment, she proceeded to withdraw the money from our bank accounts (I still didn't know there was someone else or in fact what the hell was going on; she acted quickly). I basically was left with nothing except for my records, a motorbike, my two cats and a computer. I spent a couple of years wasting my time and trying to find my way without much success. Then I met someone else. That didn't work either because I was not in the right condition, so I decided to start therapy and take the reins of my life again. I'm glad to say that with a lot of work and going through an at times painful self-assessment, I feel like someone new, a more autonomous, happy and optimistic person than I've ever been. Nothing lasts forever, and sadness and biterness are not an exception.
Author breakupthrowaway663 Posted December 12, 2016 Author Posted December 12, 2016 I suppose I should post mine while I'm at it. My first love was going well until a serious tragedy occurred. Her twin brother committed suicide. It was awful and tore us apart. The first few months I was devastated. I kept wondering how I could have made it work, what I did wrong, maybe I could have stopped the suicide? It was truly the worst 2 months of my life. Then quickly something happened. I felt my pain turn to strength and suddenly a new me emerged. I regained my motivation and became a social butterfly (definitely wasn't me before). Eventually I chased a dream and moved for my career and began an exciting new job. I discovered a completely new part of myself. I became proud of the person I was becoming. I met a fun-loving girl and we had a passionate relationship. Unfortunately she had some issues and ended up cheating on me, so I'm back here. I feel the same pain I used to feel after my first love. But now I know in the end I'll emerge stronger again. It's only a matter of time. 1
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