Bf believes there cannot be a friendship between man and woman

[meganxo]

My bf says that there cannot be a real relationship between a women and a man because its usually for sex, or something else than just being friends, I have to admit when he told me this I freaked out, I find it absurd, but it left me thinking 'what the heck!!! so basically if a man has a female friend is just because he wants to go under her panties and have sex?

 

I feel his thinking is kind off erratic, is just my opinion, what do you guys think?

[utterer of lies]

My bf says that there cannot be a real relationship between a women and a man because its usually for sex, or something else than just being friends, I have to admit when he told me this I freaked out, I find it absurd, but it left me thinking 'what the heck!!! so basically if a man has a female friend is just because he wants to go under her panties and have sex?

 

I feel his thinking is kind off erratic, is just my opinion, what do you guys think?

 

There can be friendship between men and women who are not attracted to each other.

 

There can be something where the girl things its a friendship (but the man doesn't).

 

There cannot be friendship when both fancy each other.

[SwordofFlame]

Men and women can be purely platonic friends ONLY if BOTH parties are not sexually attracted to each other.

[darkmoon]

my male friends were fine until they lost thier girlfriends, then they wanted me, but as i am not alpha, i was just to get used

 

one wanted me to live in, but hoped to marry royalty, my eyes were open, he had told me of the royalty hope previously

[meganxo]

Men and women can be purely platonic friends ONLY if BOTH parties are not sexually attracted to each other.

 

 

Yeah, but if the man usually has a girlfriend, that's the scary part, a female friend, maybe the girl likes him, even if the guy has his gf, the other one might seduce him, or have a big butt and well you know where it leads to........ LOL,

if there both single its fine it can escalate to a relationship between them, its NORMAL,that's how relationships happen, but as I said before if the guy or girl are already in a relationship that's where it gets tricky!!

[OatsAndHall]

I have several women that I consider good friends. It is a fine line when you are in a relationship though. I have dated women who have had good male friends and they had adult interactions, face to face and through social media. I have dated two women who had "friendships" with men that made me question their judgement and subsequently call it off with them. They were either too naive to see that these guys were trying to get in their pants or they liked the attention. Either way, it didn't work.

[meganxo]

I have several women that I consider good friends. It is a fine line when you are in a relationship though. I have dated women who have had good male friends and they had adult interactions, face to face and through social media. I have dated two women who had "friendships" with men that made me question their judgement and subsequently call it off with them. They were either too naive to see that these guys were trying to get in their pants or they liked the attention. Either way, it didn't work.

 

 

Exactly!! that is my point, the boundaries when you ARE in a relationship, I belive it has 360 degree thing, so when my bf said that uuu, I was hotter than fish grease, i'm like 'oh so you f*** all the girls that are your university peers. I really don't know what he meant with opinion he made!!

[kckc]

There can be friendship between men and women who are not attracted to each other.

 

One part will always get attracted after some time, there's no way. I don't know, I don't have male friends because for the most of the time we end up having sex or kissing or anything else. I had a one real friend, we were so comfortable with each other that we just moved in together - as friends of course. I wasn't attracted to him at all, but finally we end up almost having sex. Then, we went out and I met a guy, he was always jelaous of other guys and our friendship (we were really great friends) ended up. We talk from time to time but anything isn't the same anymore. We've been friends for 7 years.

[carhill]

Your BF knows men in a way that you never will, being one. He's heard all the talk, the secrets, seen the actions, felt the hormones, experienced it all.

 

Can hetero men and women be platonic friends? Sure, if they choose it and if neither of them finds the other sexually attractive. Generally, the latter part is easier for women than men due to biology. Your BF understands this on an elemental level.

 

What I've noticed as a guy who's had a fair amount of female friends and still do is that they can and do enjoy playing with a guy's sexual desire even if it's otherwise not a factor in the relationship and they have no interest in the guy. That energy apparently makes them feel good, or so they've shared. I used to find that frustrating but learned to accept it as part of life not being fair and now as an older guy greatly enjoy playing with them without any expectation of anything and, sure, being a friend and supporting whatever boundaries they establish and communicate.

 

If you and your BF are in your reproductive years, I'd tend to align with his perspective, in that men that age, unless finding you completely unattractive, want to reproduce with you and that can be a problem if you're in a committed relationship with someone else. It complicates things. Some people can work it out. Others can't. You know your relationship best. Good luck!

[bachdude]

"The actual proves the possible." If you want to know if something is possible just see if you can find an example of where it exists and that proves it's possible.

 

 

I have some friendships with females that go back many many years and nothing has ever happened. Why? Because we're not attracted to each other. And our interactions are almost entirely in groups. In other words were not BFFs.

 

 

My opinion is it is playing with fire if a person in a romantic relationship is friends with anybody where attraction or chemistry is involved.

[Sweetfish]

If your one of the girls who only has "guy" friends... I don't blame him

Edited December 10, 2016 by Sweetfish

[meganxo]

Your BF knows men in a way that you never will, being one. He's heard all the talk, the secrets, seen the actions, felt the hormones, experienced it all.

 

Can hetero men and women be platonic friends? Sure, if they choose it and if neither of them finds the other sexually attractive. Generally, the latter part is easier for women than men due to biology. Your BF understands this on an elemental level.

 

What I've noticed as a guy who's had a fair amount of female friends and still do is that they can and do enjoy playing with a guy's sexual desire even if it's otherwise not a factor in the relationship and they have no interest in the guy. That energy apparently makes them feel good, or so they've shared. I used to find that frustrating but learned to accept it as part of life not being fair and now as an older guy greatly enjoy playing with them without any expectation of anything and, sure, being a friend and supporting whatever boundaries they establish and communicate.

 

If you and your BF are in your reproductive years, I'd tend to align with his perspective, in that men that age, unless finding you completely unattractive, want to reproduce with you and that can be a problem if you're in a committed relationship with someone else. It complicates things. Some people can work it out. Others can't. You know your relationship best. Good luck![/QUO

 

 

My bf opinion scared me to a point that now I feel so insecure, and I just imagine in my head if perhaps he is in a club or out dancing with some other women and perhaps cheating. That's how bad I feel. Insecurity is a pain in the a** it can make you see and belive things that are not happening.

[meganxo]

If your one of the girls who only has "guy" friends... I don't blame him

 

 

That's the problem, I don't have any guy friend, I barely even have girlfriends, I am very picky, I just don't trust people now a days.

[Sweetfish]

Your BF knows men in a way that you never will, being one. He's heard all the talk, the secrets, seen the actions, felt the hormones, experienced it all.

 

Can hetero men and women be platonic friends? Sure, if they choose it and if neither of them finds the other sexually attractive. Generally, the latter part is easier for women than men due to biology. Your BF understands this on an elemental level.

 

What I've noticed as a guy who's had a fair amount of female friends and still do is that they can and do enjoy playing with a guy's sexual desire even if it's otherwise not a factor in the relationship and they have no interest in the guy. That energy apparently makes them feel good, or so they've shared. I used to find that frustrating but learned to accept it as part of life not being fair and now as an older guy greatly enjoy playing with them without any expectation of anything and, sure, being a friend and supporting whatever boundaries they establish and communicate.

 

If you and your BF are in your reproductive years, I'd tend to align with his perspective, in that men that age, unless finding you completely unattractive, want to reproduce with you and that can be a problem if you're in a committed relationship with someone else. It complicates things. Some people can work it out. Others can't. You know your relationship best. Good luck![/QUO

 

 

My bf opinion scared me to a point that now I feel so insecure, and I just imagine in my head if perhaps he is in a club or out dancing with some other women and perhaps cheating. That's how bad I feel. Insecurity is a pain in the a** it can make you see and belive things that are not happening.

 

 

I think your seeing his point of view in a whole different direction

[OatsAndHall]

Exactly!! that is my point, the boundaries when you ARE in a relationship, I belive it has 360 degree thing, so when my bf said that uuu, I was hotter than fish grease, i'm like 'oh so you f*** all the girls that are your university peers. I really don't know what he meant with opinion he made!!

 

It isn't a black and white deal: it's case by case. I take no issue with a girlfriend hanging out with a guy that she's known for a long time and trusts. However, I get testy when a guy "friend" pops up out of the blue and wants to hang out with her or is paying especially close attention to her on social media. But, again, this comes back to my girlfriend's judgement. I probably won't be with her long if she's keeping in touch with a guy she barely knows who is liking and commenting on every other picture or post she puts on Facebook. She needs to recognize that she doesn't really know this guy and that his behavior is indicative of a guy wanting something more than friendship.

 

Guys tend to get their hackles up about this as, biologically, we teeter towards physical attraction. I won't lie, I'm strongly physically attracted to one of my female friends but I know that I couldn't be in a relationship with her. We have a good time chatting but she's too high maintenance for me.