Broke up because of drinking

[vera345]

I dated him for 9 months. Everything was great, he told me he loved me and wants to spend the rest of our lifes together. I was happy.

As time goes by I start noticing he drinks beer every time I see him. He drinks because it's Friday, weekend, with guys, without, any reason. I don't see him drunk ever but he is consistently walking with a can of beer in his hands. He loves to socialize, has great friends.

 

We go camping in the middle of nowhere, he bring beer, he brings it to my house when we spend the night in the middle of the week.

It starts bothering me. I have kids, he does too, we are in our 40s. I ask him if he can limit his drinking. He turns around and tells me something to the effect that I chose to put my foot down on this he will leave. I say well, I don't mind occasional drinking but i don't see myself living with someone long term who always has a can of beer in his hands.

 

We got into argument and he left and didn't talk for a week. Then he comes back, tells me he loves me, will compromise for me on this. This happened at about 6 months, we keep dating.

Even thought he told me he will compromise, he does for couple weeks, then things start going back to the way they were before. Also he doesn't show up that often. I am sick one day, by myself, asked him to come over and help.

 

He says I will help you, doesn't show up, then says I didn't understand you meant now I though help in general. Ok

My birthday came up. He came over , cooked me a great dinner, send me flowers to work. No birthday gift.

 

Then 3 weeks later after we had great week and came back from party he is drinking again and offers me one. I bring up our old conversation about beer and he says look everything I do in life I do because I like it. If I bother you so much you shouldn't have been dating me. I say I love you but I can't have alcohol as daily part of my life, especially when I am raising children. It's not really about children it's about me mostly.

 

I am not against occasional drink here and there but you drink it as a water. And you told me you will compromise.

He says if you can't accept me for who I am you shouldn't be dating me. I left.

 

I went picked up my things yesterday.

He asked me several times in text if I changed my mind and I don't.

I love this guy but I think if he loved me he would compromise.he doesn't offer me anything other then this. I know I can't live with someone who is constantly under booze.

 

This happened 3 weeks ago. He is back on dating site while texted me I wish things were different, take care.

Edited December 10, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Philosoraptor]

Certainly sounds like he's a functional alcoholic who is undependable.

 

While your emotions may miss the good things that may have been present between the two of you, your brain obviously knows this was not a relationship you were going to find happiness with.

 

Take care of yourself, allow yourself to heal, and in time you will find someone who is happy to give you what you need in a partner.