She's been sending screenshots of our old chats to other people

[nowim2bold]

Okay.

 

I met her last year in school. We knew each other from church for a few years but we never talked until she landed up in the same class as me. And then we became really close really quickly. We were both pretty compatible. We both liked music and didn't like sports. We both liked to read. I liked short girls with dimples, cute voices and minds of their own and she fit the bill perfectly. And she liked tall boys who play guitar and like to read and write. Or so she said. But she was in a long distance relationship then so we remained friends. This girl, let's call her Jennifer. She liked to IM. A lot. And I mean a lot. Every minute of every day we weren't in school together, we'd message. Or at least, she'd be online. We chatted about all sorts of stuff.

 

And then, her other guy broke up with her. From where I stand now, I think I can sort of understand why he did and to an extent sympathize with him but back then, she was a perfect angel from heaven and she was always right. I would spend hours after hours with her being a shoulder for her to cry on in school and then messaging her at home so she wound't feel lonely. Sometimes all night long. My education suffered, needless to say. And eventually, I fell for her pretty hard. And then I asked her out.

 

Now this was the first girl I had ever asked out in my entire life. I never really wanted a relationship until then so I had no idea how it worked. She was pretty unsure for a while but she eventually said yes. Hooray! We dated for all of two days. One day in school together and the next day all on chat. We were supposed to go to the movies together on the third day but by then, she was beginning to have second thoughts. And thus began a long and complicated entanglement between Jennifer and I. She said she liked me. She said she loved. me. She loved me way more than her ex. This was the kind of relationship she dreamed of as a little girl. I was the first boy to ever treat her like a princess. But she couldn't date me. Once, she told me we could both like each other but not label it. I agreed. She got crazy jealous when I talked to a few female friends but she would be chatting away with a barrage of young men every day. And I said nothing because I was a lovesick little puppy then who hung on her every word. I was there to totally boost up her morale and self esteem whenever she needed it.

 

everything broke down towards the end. We'd have constant fights over the stupidest ****. Using "kay." in a text message is a cardinal sin. Why did I say lol when she wasn't in a good mood? I was supposed to sense these things over chat because....because. But I tried really really hard and we sort of had something going. Until she finally told me she had to stop. She couldn't date me then. She couldn't date anyone. It was time to dedicate her life to the Lord. So I waited and was a friend to her as always. And then I asked her again. And she gave me a flat out no. I can't date you. Bye.

 

My self esteem took a major hit but then I eventually got better. I took up skateboarding and running. I got into better physical shape. I caught up on all the studying I missed. And all the reading and writing. I was good. It was hard to interact with her every day but I managed. I did it. It was good.

 

And then she began dating another guy. A friend of mine, sort of. Which was a major major blow to my self esteem because all the 'It's not you I need Jesus' bull**** got caught out. It was me. I wasn't good enough. She needed someone to use and there I was, sappy, ridiculous, stupid and waiting to make her feel better. But again, I sort of got over it. But then she began acting weird. She brought her new boyfriend over to class every day and they'd kiss and hold each others' hands in front of me.

 

And then I get told about some over personal things I told only her from some other people I'm not really all that close to.

 

Yesterday, I was sent a screenshot of one of my old chats with her. Just some flirty stuff but really personal. Really really personal. Meant for her only.

 

And one of my friends who is super close with her came and asked me how I was. I opened up to him and realized that he already knew way more about me than I was comfortable with him knowing.

 

tl;dr

 

We broke up. She's sending personal **** to other people. What do I do?

[vera345]

You need to ignore her.

Pretend it doesn't bother you and ignore

You can't stop her from sending those texts to other people

If I saw those texts I would laugh and say well I sent the worse to get a girl

The bottom line is that she doesn't care about you

She has no respect for you

She is not a good person

She used you and manipulated you

You can't explain decency to her. You need to act like she is nothing and erase her from your mind.

No woman who has any respect for a guy would do that

[nowim2bold]

You need to ignore her.

Pretend it doesn't bother you and ignore

You can't stop her from sending those texts to other people

If I saw those texts I would laugh and say well I sent the worse to get a girl

The bottom line is that she doesn't care about you

She has no respect for you

She is not a good person

She used you and manipulated you

You can't explain decency to her. You need to act like she is nothing and erase her from your mind.

No woman who has any respect for a guy would do that

 

Well, yeah I've been trying to do that since I've learned this has been happening but I honestly don't want other people to find out any more personal information about me. I need to find some way to handle this without creating a massive issue with her new boyfriend and her extensive social circle.

[OatsAndHall]

Eh... There's not much you can do on this one my friend... It's hard to even get harassment charges pressed against someone who is insulting you via social media.

 

Just trust that she'll look like an idiot to most people she's sharing those messages with. You could call her out on it but it sounds like it add fuel to the fire.

 

It's a tough lesson to learn. I don't share anything personal via text, email, or IM. Look at the bright side, I have a female friend that made a sex video with her ex-boyfriend and it has been "mysteriously" leaked over LINE (an international messaging/chat room app). So at least you're not dealing with that.

[umirano]

I think she's infringing on your rights of privacy and data protection. Tell her to stop, otherwise you'd be forced to find legal council and file a report with the local police. This should stop her. Otherwise stay away from her. What a horrible person.

[Satu]

snip

We broke up. She's sending personal **** to other people. *What do I do?

 

You go for very strict no contact:

 

 

*No direct contact.

*No sending or receiving of messages.

*Block any means she might use to contact you.

*No replies to anything that gets through your blocks.

*No indirect contact through third parties.

*De-friend or delete her from all social media.

*No monitoring of her on social media.

*No 'little birds' feeding you news.

*Tell people that you don't want to know anything about what she is doing or saying.

 

 

People will lose interest in whatever happened between you and your ex, and they'll find other things to think about.

 

 

Take care.

[OatsAndHall]

I think she's infringing on your rights of privacy and data protection. Tell her to stop, otherwise you'd be forced to find legal council and file a report with the local police. This should stop her. Otherwise stay away from her. What a horrible person.

 

It depends on the state you live in... The laws have not caught up with technology. My ex wife's ex violated a restraining order via Facebook and other social media and the police nor the local DA would touch it. He threatened me over Facebook repeatedly and I couldn't even get a restraining order against the idiot. Things he was posting on Facebook was affecting the two of us professionally and we didn't even have a case for libel or slander.

 

She also had a friend that was a complete whacko that threatened her via text (nice social group she hah eh?) and it took three calls to the cops before they'd do anything.

 

The OP could call the police and see if they'd contact her and ask her to stop but I don't know how much good they would do. In fact, I don't even know if they can do anything. This is why people need to be careful about what they say via technological avenues. It ceases to become private information the second you hit that "send button".