redtail Posted December 9, 2016 Posted December 9, 2016 Yes, my wife and I share many things, passwords included.
5x5 Posted December 10, 2016 Posted December 10, 2016 We both don't specifically share all of our passwords as such, yet we do share access to them. My wife and I both have small notebooks with passwords written in them and except for banking passwords have auto fill passwords on our devices. So access to them isn't an issue especially since we quite readily sometimes share devices. That said sharing passwords and having access to each other's social media offers only illusory protection against infidelity. If my wife or I chose to cheat on one another, password sharing won't prevent it.
Mrs. John Adams Posted December 10, 2016 Posted December 10, 2016 (edited) My husband and I share every password to every account. when I had my affair...there were no computers or cell phones...but since times have changed...we have always made sure that we both have access to everything. Now...do we check up on each other? Well...I don't check up on him and I seriously doubt if he checks up on me but if he does...good...I have nothing to hide. In addition...we are both here on loveshack. We read everything the other one says. I guess I feel like if my husband cannot see what i am writing or thinking or doing...then I shouldn't be saying it. And even though my affair was EONS ago ...I can only hope those who have been in reconciliation a year are still together 33 years from now. Infidelity is timeless...the destruction is the same...yesterday...today and tomorrow. Edited December 10, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
adna89 Posted December 10, 2016 Posted December 10, 2016 Yes we do,we have a fb account together and we have eachothers phone passwords
LargoLagg Posted December 10, 2016 Posted December 10, 2016 No secrets between spouses. Even my kids know my passwords. A wise man will never put down in writing anything that would embarrass them. Like your bank account passwords. A wise man would not be embarrassed by his bank account, but he should be embarrassed by a lack of adequate security.
devilish innocent Posted December 10, 2016 Posted December 10, 2016 We haven't gone out of our way to share them with each other but we also don't hide them. There have been a few times such as when filling out bank forms, or when it's useful for one person to enter another's account, that we see each other's passwords. If the person remembers, then they remember. If not, we just ask for it again the next time we need it.
MidnightBlue1980 Posted December 10, 2016 Posted December 10, 2016 Financially, it's all joint. We have the same PINs for bank cards. My FB is saved on my computer, Linked In as well. My husband has a password on his phone for work but I know it. I don't have a password on my phone, my choice as I find it so annoying. He does not have my gmail password but he could get in on my phone. All my apps on my phone are right there, I think its that way by default. We have an honor policy to respect each other's privacy. We don't look at each other's phones or any of that. Everyone should be treated like an adult. We do not want to live in a prison cell. I could not live with being monitored and neither could he. We trust each other. 1
JoeSmith357-1 Posted December 10, 2016 Posted December 10, 2016 In my marriage, no, we did not. I have always felt that each individual should be afforded a certain level of privacy in a marriage. For example, I had three friends going through rough patches in their lives while I was married and we communicated via text, email and social media about them. These conversations were confidential and my spouse had no right to know the details of what was going on with them. Yes, I told her that my friends were going through a difficult time but they had an expectation of confidentiality and I did not share much with her. So, if I had given her my passwords, it would have been with the stipulation that she doesn't look at emails, texts or messages from ___, ___, and ____. That's just a recipe for disaster. Plus, there was no way she could have my work email password as there was legally-confidential information being shared. If you have a good marriage and you trust someone, then you should trust that they are being open and honest with you without needing to fork-over their passwords, "just in case". Yeah, and every one of my partners who has shared that exact same attitude ended up cheating on me, hiding stuff from me, etc. Pretty much everyone who raises the "i need my privacy" sentiment, has something to hide, and probably is cheating... throwing that out there and i'm not talking about your work password, because if you are stupid enough to be cheating using your work email, you deserve what's coming to you I'm going to go so far as to say even the presence of apps like whatsapp or snapchat would raise flags. Anything whose purpose exists to hide communications from others 2
BettyDraper Posted December 10, 2016 Posted December 10, 2016 (edited) Yeah, and every one of my partners who has shared that exact same attitude ended up cheating on me, hiding stuff from me, etc. Pretty much everyone who raises the "i need my privacy" sentiment, has something to hide, and probably is cheating... throwing that out there and i'm not talking about your work password, because if you are stupid enough to be cheating using your work email, you deserve what's coming to you I'm going to go so far as to say even the presence of apps like whatsapp or snapchat would raise flags. Anything whose purpose exists to hide communications from others Did it ever occur to you that a cheating spouse who is "transparent" could have a burner phone or secret email and social media accounts? My husband and I do not have anything to hide yet we still do not share passwords. I know that I can go through is phone or emails if I ask him. Oh and I also have Whatapp and I'm not talking to anyone whom I shouldn't be. I use it to keep in touch with family members since I live far away from most of them. I wouldn't have an issue allowing my husband to look at my conversations. Black and white thinking shows a lack of logic and reasoning skills. It's ridiculous to assume that merely having certain apps is a sign of cheating. It's 2016 so people are going to take advantage of technology. Edited December 10, 2016 by BettyDraper
BettyDraper Posted December 10, 2016 Posted December 10, 2016 Financially, it's all joint. We have the same PINs for bank cards. My FB is saved on my computer, Linked In as well. My husband has a password on his phone for work but I know it. I don't have a password on my phone, my choice as I find it so annoying. He does not have my gmail password but he could get in on my phone. All my apps on my phone are right there, I think its that way by default. We have an honor policy to respect each other's privacy. We don't look at each other's phones or any of that. Everyone should be treated like an adult. We do not want to live in a prison cell. I could not live with being monitored and neither could he. We trust each other. According to some members, you and your husband must be having affairs!
Author Popsicle Posted December 10, 2016 Author Posted December 10, 2016 Do tell us more... Well, there's not much to tell. When I was married back when what now feels like ions ago, we weren't engaging in social media and the like then, so our passwords were just family business oriented and were shared. Today this is a different time, and my last boyfriend volunteered his passwords, even though I didn't ask, and I wondered why he did that. If he expected that in a LTR or something (he wanted a LTR). I wasn't so willing to give my passwords so easily. I suspect that the people in this thread who say they share all their passwords with their spouse, don't share their password to this forum in particular.
MidnightBlue1980 Posted December 10, 2016 Posted December 10, 2016 According to some members, you and your husband must be having affairs! We did. But it was not because we were not watching each other on social media. We were not watching each other in real life. A space grew and other people stepped in. 1
redtail Posted December 10, 2016 Posted December 10, 2016 I suspect that the people in this thread who say they share all their passwords with their spouse, don't share their password to this forum in particular. Maybe, but not true for me. My wife and I often talk about what I read on this forum and she's more than welcome to read what I post. Is this something that caused your first marriage to fail? My first marriage may have ended sooner if my ex would have shared her passwords with me.
MidnightBlue1980 Posted December 10, 2016 Posted December 10, 2016 Yeah, and every one of my partners who has shared that exact same attitude ended up cheating on me, hiding stuff from me, etc. Pretty much everyone who raises the "i need my privacy" sentiment, has something to hide, and probably is cheating... throwing that out there and i'm not talking about your work password, because if you are stupid enough to be cheating using your work email, you deserve what's coming to you I'm going to go so far as to say even the presence of apps like whatsapp or snapchat would raise flags. Anything whose purpose exists to hide communications from others I must be missing something about whatsapp. I have it because one friend seems to like it. It seems the same exact thing as texting. I am not sure how it hides communications. 1
MidnightBlue1980 Posted December 10, 2016 Posted December 10, 2016 I suspect that the people in this thread who say they share all their passwords with their spouse, don't share their password to this forum in particular. No and I only open it in the incognito browser. My H did see it by accident and did not want me coming here. I guess that makes me bad.
aileD Posted December 10, 2016 Posted December 10, 2016 I must be missing something about whatsapp. I have it because one friend seems to like it. It seems the same exact thing as texting. I am not sure how it hides communications. Because if you look at your phone bill the phone number won't come up and you won't see how many texts are sent and you can call people thru whatsapp and not have it show up on your bill. It's good for people who have family in other countries and states because there's no international or text fees. Also telegram is another app like this. Telegram, Voxer, Viber. Textfree and sideline give you alternate phone numbers to use in place of yours. All awesome apps for cheaters. My husband knows I come here. He's never asked to see but I'm always logged in her on my phone so he could if he wanted to because his thumbprint is on my phone. And I wouldn't care or mind if he read anything here. 1
basil67 Posted December 10, 2016 Posted December 10, 2016 I suspect that the people in this thread who say they share all their passwords with their spouse, don't share their password to this forum in particular. None of my devices are locked and this site is permanently logged in.
basil67 Posted December 10, 2016 Posted December 10, 2016 Because if you look at your phone bill the phone number won't come up and you won't see how many texts are sent and you can call people thru whatsapp and not have it show up on your bill. It's good for people who have family in other countries and states because there's no international or text fees. Also telegram is another app like this. Telegram, Voxer, Viber. Textfree and sideline give you alternate phone numbers to use in place of yours. All awesome apps for cheaters. My husband knows I come here. He's never asked to see but I'm always logged in her on my phone so he could if he wanted to because his thumbprint is on my phone. And I wouldn't care or mind if he read anything here. My daughter is going overseas shortly. This could be handy for us. Any advantages to using whatsapp over FB messenger? And no, we don't need to hide stuff
Whoknew30 Posted December 10, 2016 Posted December 10, 2016 No, my H & I don't bc all of our accounts for anything are all open on our phone apps & neither one of us had a phone password. We both made a deal though, if either catches the other snooping sneakily, then the person who was snooped against wil start to use a password.
aileD Posted December 10, 2016 Posted December 10, 2016 My daughter is going overseas shortly. This could be handy for us. Any advantages to using whatsapp over FB messenger? And no, we don't need to hide stuff Not that I know, they both seem like the same or similar thing. As a BS who was checking up on h during the affair ...I liked whatsapp because it showed when you were online and "last online"...so I could literally watch through your the day as she went online....then he would two seconds later...then she'd be l"last seen a minute ago"...and then online and he'd go last seen. Like you could literally see them having a conversation just by that (not what they actually said)...so I could tell he was online with her all ****ing day when he was at work then they would both stop and have their last seen at the same time but he wouldnt come home till like 2 hours later which told me they were together that time because they'd start talking again on whatsapp on the rides home after seeing each other Yeah it was a messed up year! But anyway. Either one would work for your daughter lol
BoaConstrictor Posted December 10, 2016 Posted December 10, 2016 With my EA, we used Kik. It's easy to delete your messages. I believe teenagers use it a lot to hide texts and pictures from their parents. But it's the same principle that you don't have to pay for texts, or give your phone number, for that matter. Either way, it would be useful in an international situation. Plus, it's free.
dichotomy Posted December 10, 2016 Posted December 10, 2016 Passwords can vary from site to site. My wife and I know each others basic passwords for SOME common things and uses. We also know each others phone password/pins and dont hide or control our phones (leave them out or with each other). Facebook pages are often left open on the home computer. We are more open then ever which is good since she cheated a long time ago and kept painful secretes. For a lone time after d Day I monitored everything she did and knew every password, or was able to see everything she did without passwords. Every now and then - in a blue moon - I still do a full investigation sweep. She knew this back in the day (post dDay) and it pissed her off, she probably knows I still can (or occasionally do) this - but she does not know how deep I go.
MidnightBlue1980 Posted December 10, 2016 Posted December 10, 2016 Because if you look at your phone bill the phone number won't come up and you won't see how many texts are sent and you can call people thru whatsapp and not have it show up on your bill. It's good for people who have family in other countries and states because there's no international or text fees. Also telegram is another app like this. Telegram, Voxer, Viber. Textfree and sideline give you alternate phone numbers to use in place of yours. All awesome apps for cheaters. My husband knows I come here. He's never asked to see but I'm always logged in her on my phone so he could if he wanted to because his thumbprint is on my phone. And I wouldn't care or mind if he read anything here. That would never have occurred to me, not showing up on your phone bill. I agree though, it is like FB IM, though I hate that app for some reason. I guess the difference is FB IM is also on your computer, whereas whatsapp is only on your phone. In any event, I only use it for my friend. But that is good to know.
road Posted December 11, 2016 Posted December 11, 2016 Did it ever occur to you that a cheating spouse who is "transparent" could have a burner phone or secret email and social media accounts? My husband and I do not have anything to hide yet we still do not share passwords. I know that I can go through is phone or emails if I ask him. Oh and I also have Whatapp and I'm not talking to anyone whom I shouldn't be. I use it to keep in touch with family members since I live far away from most of them. I wouldn't have an issue allowing my husband to look at my conversations. Black and white thinking shows a lack of logic and reasoning skills. It's ridiculous to assume that merely having certain apps is a sign of cheating. It's 2016 so people are going to take advantage of technology. Black and white logic is those that have nothing to hide, hide nothing. Knowing that anything can be abused so can apps. Then follows is when "the gut feeling" alarm goes off to not have access is prior to this is only going to warn the WS that the BS is about to catch them and for the WS to then take evasive actions. Yes plain old common sense is what black and white logic is.
Author Popsicle Posted December 12, 2016 Author Posted December 12, 2016 Is this something that caused your first marriage to fail? My first marriage may have ended sooner if my ex would have shared her passwords with me. No, not at all. As I said, when I was married, we weren't really online except for business.
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