Azryle Posted December 8, 2016 Posted December 8, 2016 Few months back, We had a talk about losing weight. She did get upset over it, but it passed and we were talking normally and happily for a month or two. Recently, a guy in her class who she used to talk to called her fat (either as insult or for a joke), which made her cry in the middle of the class. I asked her why she cried, she said she tried hard losing weight and hearing that from him destroys her confidence. Problem is, I've always told her she's doing great at losing weight, and she's looking better now but she doesn't care about that. Normally, I would beat him up for making her cry (Violence, yay!) but we're in LDR and I can't do anything. It upsets me that what I complimented her was neglected but what he said to her meant everything. Moreover, the phrase "I cried over you" doesn't mean anything anymore since any guy can make her cry, and her crying already seems like a normal occurrence. Plus, She won't let me talk to him on Social Media claiming it'll ruin her reputation since there are people connected to him in her class. Furthermore, one of her friends told her that he likes her a few months ago. Now she broke up with me because i kept pushing her to give me his social media account ( my fault for pushing ), but is it right to take action as a boyfriend like this?
Gr8fuln2020 Posted December 8, 2016 Posted December 8, 2016 Now she broke up with me because i kept pushing her to give me his social media account ( my fault for pushing ), but is it right to take action as a boyfriend like this? You are not her bf anymore, so leave it alone. 1
kismetkismet Posted December 8, 2016 Posted December 8, 2016 No, don't take action. If you had been there, then sure. But she's a big girl and intervening will only make it worse because the person will get defensive and likely meaner. The reason his calling her fat would impact her more than you telling her she is not, is because his opinion is much more objective. Of COURSE you are going to say that she isn't, you love her and you care about her feelings and have something to gain from making her feel loved and beautiful. Also, you love her so she is beautiful to you. When you have deep feelings for someone, they become more physically attractive to you, despite their physical attributes not changing. His perception of her isn't morphed by love, so she may feel that his perception is more 'real'. His view of what she looks like is closer to what the world sees when they look at her. obviously that doesn't mean that he's right. And he could have just been saying it to hurt her. But she is more likely to believe a random stranger who stands nothing to gain by softening things than someone who loves her dearly.
Miss Peach Posted December 8, 2016 Posted December 8, 2016 I'll play devils advocate here. You already know you screwed up for pushing. IMO you didn't screw up trying to reassure her and protect her. I didn't dump by ex BF over not being protective of me (I had another guy harassing me) but it bothered me a lot and when it came to the next obstacle I didn't decide to stick around.
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