bobwhite007 Posted December 8, 2016 Posted December 8, 2016 Hey y'all it's me and I'm still here. I been watching and keeping up with everyone here. It's been a while since I've posted. I want to say to any new comers to listen to what these people are saying. If you are suspecting your partner is cheating on you and you have no proof then say nothing! Don't let on like you know anything. Seriously. I went right to her the minute I thought I had a small bit of evidence and never learned a thing except I was stupid. Now that's been maybe 3 or 4 years ago and I've never got over it. I've watched her closely and what ever was going on went way underground. Only I never stopped watching her. Now in the last week or two I don't know if she has gotten more comfortable or what but I noticed one thing while she was dressing the other morning. I walked in the room as she was opening her panty drawer and she slams it back and don't put no panties on. She says I forgot to put lotion on my legs. Oooook. The same day she says she's somewhere and from my sources she was someplace else. She lied. It wasn't for long and they are being really discreet. Some will say why didn't you leave 3 years ago? I didn't want to believe it. Any way go ahead and tell me what you all think I can take it.
WhatYouWantToHear Posted December 8, 2016 Posted December 8, 2016 I hope anyone who is reading your story learns from it. Do not have a relationship like Bob has. There's only 2 real situations, both reflect poorly on Bob. 1. She's a cheating liar. In which case Bob is right and should end the relationship (but for some reason, hasn't). 2. Bob's a jealous nut. In which case Bob's wife should end the relationship. In either case this relationship should end. Sounds like nobody's happy. If your life is consumed by suspicions of your significant other cheating, then end it. You don't need proof. If you stay and just keep looking for 100% proof, then you are the nut--regardless of the actual fact if signficiant other is cheating or not. 3
road Posted December 8, 2016 Posted December 8, 2016 Not wrong to stay. Wrong to not do the detective work. Time to pick up the trail. Hide a VAR in her car and one in the house where she takes her phone calls. Real time GPS her car, and activate the find my phone on her phone. Secretly install a key logger on the PC. Access to her cell, try to find out whatever you can. Check the phone bill to she if one number is getting a crazy amount of calls/texts for that is her AP. Do not confront when you get evidence and let us guide you through confronting WW. 2
WilyWill Posted December 8, 2016 Posted December 8, 2016 Looking at your history I'm left wondering, like other people, why you've never pursued getting some real proof. VAR and/or GPS in the car? PI, if you can afford it? It can't be that hard. 1
BetrayedH Posted December 9, 2016 Posted December 9, 2016 She's a police officer, if I recall correctly. I do believe that makes it extra difficult when it comes to planting VARs and GPSs. 1
Just a Guy Posted December 11, 2016 Posted December 11, 2016 Hi Bob, what exactly are you looking for here? I think you have been given enough advice here and before this but you don't want to act on it. I think Whatyouwanttohear has got it right. If your gut is telling you something is going on and you have a sliver of evidence that she is up to no good then why are you hesitating? Just leave. I don't know how old you are or what your financial position is but I am sure you will survive and find a woman who would be happy to be with you for your sake itself and no other reason. So go ahead and treat yourself to a good time. Right now you are living the life of a closet cuckold. Warm wishes. 1
NTV Posted December 11, 2016 Posted December 11, 2016 What about her is worth staying for? Not rhetorical. .. really asking you. Do you love her? Can you leave if you want to? 1
Author bobwhite007 Posted December 13, 2016 Author Posted December 13, 2016 I stay because I think the rest of my family needs me. I stay for them. Do I love her? Not like I used to, not anywhere close. Could I leave? Yes anytime. Do I have a commitment to the rest of my family? Yes. I post here because it makes me feel better and there is no other outlet that I know of. It ain't all about me.
Giacomo67 Posted December 13, 2016 Posted December 13, 2016 well..... in my case a PI saved me. Never thaught that my ex would do what the PI discovered in less then 24 hours. If you need solid proof without getting caught, it might be your best solution. 2
GorillaTheater Posted December 13, 2016 Posted December 13, 2016 I stay because I think the rest of my family needs me. I stay for them. How old are your kids? I can respect that reasoning to a point, but I also know that life is short and kids may well do better after the end of a lousy, unhealthy marriage.
WhatYouWantToHear Posted December 13, 2016 Posted December 13, 2016 I stay because I think the rest of my family needs me. I stay for them. So, why do you care if she is cheating? 1
Author bobwhite007 Posted December 28, 2016 Author Posted December 28, 2016 I don't know why but the last few days have been really tough on me. I don't know why but my mind keeps Goin back to them being together. My head has been clearer than it has in a long time this past month. I hope to have a new job soon. I know I know I should have left a long time ago but for some reason I want her to tell me the truth. Maybe me leaving would bring it out. Anyway I'm still here.
Davey L Posted December 28, 2016 Posted December 28, 2016 Like the others said before - do some investigating.
BetrayedH Posted December 28, 2016 Posted December 28, 2016 I don't know why but the last few days have been really tough on me. I don't know why but my mind keeps Goin back to them being together. My head has been clearer than it has in a long time this past month. I hope to have a new job soon. I know I know I should have left a long time ago but for some reason I want her to tell me the truth. Maybe me leaving would bring it out. Anyway I'm still here. You'll never know the full truth, Bob. I know "a lot" of the truth in my scenario and I've never doubted that there's more, probably a lot more. Thinking that you'll get anything near the truth from her is an absolute fantasy. She enjoys the fact that you can't discover the truth, remember? I would agree with OldShirt. There's only so much virtue in staying for the kids. At some point, you're simply showing them a dysfunctional marriage as the example of what it should be. Is that what you want to teach them? I hate to quote Dr Phil here but, it's better to be from a broken home than to be in one. Beyond that, kids will recover. And they'll learn about having boundaries and not to accept abuse in their lives, because their Dad taught them that. 1
Marc878 Posted December 28, 2016 Posted December 28, 2016 It sounds like you don't want to know the truth because then it would be real. Which may require you to do something whereas now you can just live with it. Not s great way to spend your life. But that's up to you and always has been.
Friskyone4u Posted December 28, 2016 Posted December 28, 2016 Hey y'all it's me and I'm still here. I been watching and keeping up with everyone here. It's been a while since I've posted. I want to say to any new comers to listen to what these people are saying. If you are suspecting your partner is cheating on you and you have no proof then say nothing! Don't let on like you know anything. Seriously. I went right to her the minute I thought I had a small bit of evidence and never learned a thing except I was stupid. Now that's been maybe 3 or 4 years ago and I've never got over it. I've watched her closely and what ever was going on went way underground. Only I never stopped watching her. Now in the last week or two I don't know if she has gotten more comfortable or what but I noticed one thing while she was dressing the other morning. I walked in the room as she was opening her panty drawer and she slams it back and don't put no panties on. She says I forgot to put lotion on my legs. Oooook. The same day she says she's somewhere and from my sources she was someplace else. She lied. It wasn't for long and they are being really discreet. Some will say why didn't you leave 3 years ago? I didn't want to believe it. Any way go ahead and tell me what you all think I can take it. I hope you can get yourself some help. You are telling people here to listen to the advice but you are not listening to any of it. She has you in a one sided open marriage and it appears you have been unable to get out of the paralysis for three years. i have no clue how you can function around her. What advice can anyone give you that you have not already ignored. 1
LifesontheUp Posted December 28, 2016 Posted December 28, 2016 Bob, I so feel for you. Don't stay for the children like my father did. You are showing them what a dysfunctional family is, not a happy one. I hope you find it within yourself to take action here instead of just believing that staying is the right thing to do.
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