KatZee Posted December 9, 2016 Share Posted December 9, 2016 In most cases I would say no, absolutely not. However Ive recently given my ghost a second chance. It absolutely depends on the reasons for the ghosting, how remorseful they are, what has gone on between then and now. In my case, he came back and didn't even try to hide what a fu*k up he was. He apologized profusely and explained what had gone on back then for it to have happened, and told me that he messed up so bad and it could have, and should have been handled differently. His reason was 100% genuine and understandable to me. And since it had been quite a bit of time, both of us actually grew and became more mature. We've been seeing each other this past month, and he's not even attempting hooking up. He's been transparent, so open with communication, taking me out, doing things together. I actually truly believe had we have remained together a year ago, we would have failed horribly. He sorted out his issues and it's been going really well. Definitely watching him though and taking it super slow. You can definitely judge these things on a case by case basis. I'd say most come back for ingenuine reasons. You'll be able to tell which is which based on actions. Link to post Share on other sites
leogirl876 Posted December 9, 2016 Share Posted December 9, 2016 95% of the time, a ghoster is a ghoster and you gotta see him for what it is. Don't take him back, he came back because he had nothing better going on. I've only been ghosted by one guy which was almost 2 years ago, and he'll still pop up on my text every now and then. He'll say something stupid like "guess you ghosted me". Whatever low value man!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Peach Posted December 9, 2016 Share Posted December 9, 2016 We don't have a lot of time to date, about 4 days a month. I don't want to be the chick on the side. But yet, I'm thinking about seeing him again. With my guard up and not expecting anything. Even if this guy doesn't ghost, my guess is he's trolling for sex. That's the pattern I've experienced with guys that ghost and come back like that. Regardless, if I could only get together at most 4 times per month with someone I wouldn't even start it. I personally know that over time, once per week indefinitely wouldn't be enough to sustain my feelings. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author impasse Posted December 13, 2016 Author Share Posted December 13, 2016 Even if this guy doesn't ghost, my guess is he's trolling for sex. That's the pattern I've experienced with guys that ghost and come back like that. Regardless, if I could only get together at most 4 times per month with someone I wouldn't even start it. I personally know that over time, once per week indefinitely wouldn't be enough to sustain my feelings. Yeah, if I decide to go out with him again I'm definitely not jumping in bed with him and will be watching for more red flags. He is still talking to me quite a bit, and hasn't made any hint at sex or sexting. Almost always texts good morning and goodnight, plus some texts through the day. Thus the life with kids. My parents take my kids two weekends a month, and that is pretty much all the time I have unless we go out during the day when they are in school. His kids are with their mother every other weekend. So that's are only kid-free time, really. Right now, I'm not thinking of it as something serious or even that it might be serious. Link to post Share on other sites
Erik30 Posted December 13, 2016 Share Posted December 13, 2016 He probably came back after being rejected by multiple women who don't want to date a guy who has 4 kids... maybe he thought he could do "better," and find someone with less children than you or none of their own at all 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted December 13, 2016 Share Posted December 13, 2016 this the reason most people come back. when a ghoster returns from the dead i will give them a second chance if they acknowledge they ghosted after i call them out on it, apologize, then come over to my place for drinks. if they don't want to do that then they really are not interested. they are just bored. Agreed. A ghost has little integrity. And it's like treating that date as if they are third, fourth even fifth priority. Which to the ghost, the ghostee probably is of little value to them. Which in that case, I beg the question: why give someone the time of day, if they treated you with little respect in the first place? I wouldn't even wait for their excuses. I would vanish on them before they had a chance to vanish on me again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author impasse Posted December 17, 2016 Author Share Posted December 17, 2016 We went out last night. I went into it having no expectations, just a chance to get out, and no intention to have sex. He's been texting me regularly between dates and has called a couple times. We had a good time and he didn't make any sexual advances at all. For right now I'm just treating it very casually. No sex at all, and if he ghosts again then it's not a big deal but I won't give him another shot. It kind of makes me feel like I'm using him to get out of this house. I do like him, though. Just don't trust him yet. Link to post Share on other sites
winny Posted December 18, 2016 Share Posted December 18, 2016 Why would you do this to yourself? Are all the other men on the planet dead that you have to go out with that one guy who ghosted you after sex? That's the worst type of ghosting ever.... cruelest... and you are now sitting there having dinner with him and evaluating his actions? Life is too short to give second chances to worthless douche bags. Frankly, you should ghost on him now and just give it back to him. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Saracena Posted December 18, 2016 Share Posted December 18, 2016 He probably came back after being rejected by multiple women who don't want to date a guy who has 4 kids... maybe he thought he could do "better," and find someone with less children than you or none of their own at all My thoughts exactly, being someone who'd run a mile from anyone with any number of kids, not to mention four! In addition, he appears to be well able to communicate now that he wants something. Could easily have done this first time round instead of just disappearing. In fact, OP I would ghost on him now. What's it been, two dates and before any sex! . 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author impasse Posted December 18, 2016 Author Share Posted December 18, 2016 I know him having 4 kids (that live with him full time) would turn some people off, but seeing as I have 6 kids with no dad in the picture... I prefer someone with kids. Obviously dating with kids is hard, especially lots of kids. There isn't exactly a line up of men who are interested in someone with 6 kiddos. He was married for 16 years, divorced 4. His ex wife got into drugs and alcohol, which is why he has full custody. I don't know much else about their marriage, we don't talk about past relationships really. Can't be that horrible if he was married that long. I definitely have my guard up. I do like him though and he seems like a good guy. Obviously ghosting after sex isn't something good guys do. I'm giving the benefit of the doubt right now. I'm not getting attached though. One sign of behaving like that again and I'm done. Not Link to post Share on other sites
winny Posted December 18, 2016 Share Posted December 18, 2016 Okay if you understand all the risks and still want to go ahead then it is your decision but dont ask us then I hope it ends well though... I am tired of listening to women being ghosted n this kind of frustrates me bcoz of my own experiences. Link to post Share on other sites
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