Do guys act weird/distant around girls to give them the hint they're not interested?

[Mystique01]

I'm not sure if I'm even posting this in the right forum but oh well...

 

 

The title says it all.

 

Do guys deliberately act weird/distant/hot & cold around women that they may sense like them, but aren't interested in?

 

Bottom line...I always get the impression that some guys deliberately start acting different around me to sort of give me the "hint" that they aren't interested.

 

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The TL;DR Version

 

Men AND women are free to answer, especially if you have experience with doing this or have been on the receiving end of this... But I definitely want to get guys/men's viewpoint on this.

 

I hate to just assume things...

 

I'm just curious because it seems this tends to happen to me quite a bit... Not always, but with guys I tend to be interested in.

 

I notice that at first they will usually act normally around me (friendly, open, engaging, sometimes even going up and approaching me, etc.), but then over a brief period of time (some months), I notice the guy starts acting weird when I start to develop a crush on him it seems. I'm not a stalker or making obvious signs (in fact, I'm actually kind of shy around guys I'm interested in), but I just notice that then the guy will start to act really WEIRD!

 

• Stops coming up to me
  
• Sort of avoids me
  
• Starts acting hot and cold around me
  

 

But at other times, the guy will seem friendly again and will seem nice....especially if we happen to just bump into each other again.

 

But it's like, very hot and cold! They'll seem perfectly comfortable around other young women... But with me it seems like it's mixed....

 

This mainly happens with guy acquaintances or potential guy friends. I don't get it....

 

Am I coming on too strong for them? I'm genuinely nice, a lot of people say I'm "pretty", and I think I have a really great personality (not being off-putting in other words)... but I just don't get it.

 

It seems to happen to me mainly with guys I could have an interest in.... But it has also happened with guys who I'm not interested in as well.

 

I'm just wondering if there's something I'm subconsciously doing that is maybe turning these guys off, or if maybe I'm misreading their "body language". They just seem to be more on-guard around me...like they stop acting the way they were when we first met... Granted, I start getting shy as well when I start developing a crush on them. So maybe they're just mirroring what I'm doing?

[thecrucible]

Yeah I think they can do if they think you are getting too attached. Some guys can be really cowardly about this and get another woman to tell you. I think that's a bit weird. Now I try to keep cards close to my chest. If I genuinely like a guy I try to tell no one or only a very good friend. People who know can sabotage as they might ask questions before he really knows you. It also helps not to say anything as you might even lose interest in him yourself. Sometimes I get a crush on a guy and then I find something out which puts me off.

[Mystique01]

Yeah I think they can do if they think you are getting too attached. Some guys can be really cowardly about this and get another woman to tell you. I think that's a bit weird. Now I try to keep cards close to my chest. If I genuinely like a guy I try to tell no one or only a very good friend. People who know can sabotage as they might ask questions before he really knows you. It also helps not to say anything as you might even lose interest in him yourself. Sometimes I get a crush on a guy and then I find something out which puts me off.

 

That's true, I can see that...

 

But how would a woman be getting too "attached" if she's not even dating the guy? What would give a guy that impression? What is the woman doing? These aren't even guys I'm dating....just acquaintances or friends...some friends of friends.

 

I definitely agree with you about keeping the cards close to the vest. I definitely do that..especially if I'm not sure how the guy feels about me.

[OrangeParty]

Other way round for me. I act distant around women I like, and it's embarrassing, because I'm 31. I'm jokey and comfortable around friends, but if she's there, I avoid her or act stiff around her. Lol.

[smackie9]

We don't know you, we can't interact with you, or see the reaction of other, so we can't tell you what the deal is.

 

You need to ask a close friend who knows you best, for their honest opinion.

[Mystique01]

Other way round for me. I act distant around women I like, and it's embarrassing, because I'm 31. I'm jokey and comfortable around friends, but if she's there, I avoid her or act stiff around her. Lol.

 

 

Thanks for your honesty.

 

Ironically, that's how I usually act around guys I'm really interested in lol. I guess we're just screwed huh??

 

 

 

We don't know you, we can't interact with you, or see the reaction of other, so we can't tell you what the deal is.

 

You need to ask a close friend who knows you best, for their honest opinion.

 

Yea, I guess that's true.

 

I guess my question was more so whether or not any men have done this before to women they are trying to give the "hint" to, or whether other women have experienced this themselves. Like, is this a common thing?? Or is it just me??