Dealing with invisible boundary line between wife & ex-wife

[anika99]

Your current wife needs counselling really bad. She is putting up with crap that should be far beneath her. You are going to leave her alone on during Christmas so that you can go have a baby with your ex. That is so unacceptable and there is something wrong with your wife for accepting it. Perhaps extremely low self esteem, perhaps she is caught up in the same game your ex is, in that she doesn't want to lose this competition, for some reason she is driven to win this contest even though the prize is just a lying cheating husband. Whatever the case may be there is something wrong going on with her for allowing this to go on.

 

Why can't she go with you when the baby is being born? You could get her a nice hotel room, pay for a spa day for her, make it mini vacation for her and then you when you are not needed at the hospital you and your wife spend time together.

 

Going forward I don't think you should be in communication with your ex at all. Get a 3rd party to be the go between regarding visitation and child issues. Make it clear to your ex that she is not welcome in your life in shape or form. If she balks be ready to go to family court to get your rights.

[BettyDraper]

Wow, I can't believe your current wife stays with you while you got your ex wife pregnant again.

 

YOU are the problem. YOU have boundary problems and cheat.

 

 

Stop being the cause of harm to so many - including an unborn baby.

 

Get professional help to k OW why you don't have any inclination of a boundary for yourself.

 

Consider going back PERMANENTLY with the ex wife...she has (will have) three kids with you and you ought to think of forfeiting the love you may have for your current wife.

 

I don't think the OP ever truly loved his second wife. It appears that she was just a convenient place to land after his divorce. She's also enough of a doormat to put up with his blatant disrespect.

 

The OP was still holding on to hopes of reuniting with his ex after his second marriage. That's why the affair lasted for months when he just married someone else. It would make sense for the OP to go back to his first wife since that is where his heart lies, his ex is having another child and he doesn't seem particularly interested in protecting his new wife's feelings.