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How attractive was the OM/OW?

KimJ1234

By KimJ1234
in General Relationship Discussion

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DKT3 Established Member

DKT3

Posted
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Individual style, regardless of price, stands out to me. There are stylish women who buy vintage and thrift and knock it out of the park without a lot of money. And I know women who have a small budget and can kill at target and Kmart, just with effort. That said, I do love a man in a great suit.

 

So style and confidence are attractive to me. I like individuals, whether I like their style or not. I mix my 80s concert shirts with current things, I like to be unique, I'm an artist. My wh is pretty vain and wears a shirt, not a suit lol, so his choice of ow reflected how he felt about himself at the time. As the owner and boss, how he's viewed is important. I think had he really cared about her or loved her, he would have taken her places and shown her off. Fellow employees complained to him about her crassness. That must have been awkward, right? But he was a hot mess at the time, ignoring a lot of personal and professional disasters, and she was a way to hide from all of it further. Spoiler alert: the problems didn't go away. I kind of envision him dodging bullets and grabbing the closest thing available - the ow - as a shield. He used her, no question. But she didn't care for him past the bank account she envisioned. When it ended, there was a lot of anger at the injustice and unfairness. No heartbreak. Her last text said, "you win." She was pretty pissed. So unlike some of the other stories here, this was not a love affair. Regardless of the ow's looks, the whole debacle was unattractive. They each showed how ugly they were inside.

 

As long as you're not mixing in 80's hair....not sure they produce that much hair spray these days....i remember teachers walking around with rulers measuring hair height.... please don't take us back

  • Like 2
MidnightBlue1980 Established Member

MidnightBlue1980

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Would be fun to post pictures of ourselves and xmm

 

I never got a picture of the two of us together. I have a bunch of pillow selfies that he took of himself.

 

I actually got rid of most stuff. Anything I kept is in a dead email account.

 

It's not healthy to look at that stuff. I pretend he is dead now.

DKT3 Established Member

DKT3

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This is my work computer so I am nervous to click on links.

 

Scarlett Johansson, a very ugly frog, and that dude from starwars

William Established Member

William

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Would be fun to post pictures of ourselves and xmm

 

Let's not. It's personal information subject to image-matching software and strongly discouraged on this anonymous forum.

 

Apparently, one slate of joke pictures has been published so enjoy those and let's get back to the topic of how attractive one's affair partner is/was. Since this thread apparently is not about a current affair and responses are not directed to the thread starter's marriage, I'll move this to GRD.

HeCantBreakMe Established Member

HeCantBreakMe

Posted
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My husband is a handsome man, tall and great skin- very successful and loyal..xmm well he was your average joe.. though going bald and my friend who knew of him made fun of him and called him Pee Wee Herman.

 

It wasn't about the looks it usually isn't. Mm could have been anyone at the time

,,though had he been hot and hitting on me I probably would have been annoyed and thought he was slimy. Being that he wasn't a "Threat" I was more comfortable opening up to him.

Gloria25 Established Member

Gloria25

Posted
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What hooked him was her neediness and adoration.

 

So a woman tending to her man's needs is her being "needy" and "adoring" him as if he was a worthless idol?

 

I don't get the modern women's loathing to just be sweet to her man.

 

Men are simple creatures. You feed him and F- him and that's all he needs. But no, women are too busy with the job, kids, her friends/relatives and hubby needs to just go put something in the microwave and leave her alone. OH, and no porn to masturbate to either, he must wait until one day "if" she's ready to "mate" with him again.

 

Call me submissive, backwards, or whatever...I believe in showing a man respect and tenderness.

 

This week I was rubbing my dude's feet and arms and then some. I don't do it to manipulate him into wanting me. I ENJOY every flippin moment touching him and making him feel good. THAT'S what people do for people they care about - they GIVE. They show affection and attention. Oh yea, and he's flippin' handsome and sweet - he deserves my affection and attention. I love putting a smile on his face and again, that's what you do when you care for someone.

 

So, for all the BS who didn't have time and/or saw it "beneath" them to simply be sweet to their man....yep, an OW - fugly or gorgeous, is gonna catch his eye cuz humans, animals, even flies are gonna gravitate towards honey - not salt.

 

So, sit around and ponder on how ugly the OW is - instead of trying to learn how to treat a man - to avoid giving another OW a shot at your man.

  • Like 2
Gloria25 Established Member

Gloria25

Posted
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It's simple, Availability trumps Appearance any day.

 

On my fav podcaster's show, she regularly brings up a real life story of a guy - who's wife was tooooo busy and/or tired to simply take 15 minutes in the morning to have sex with him.

 

Well guess what? He and a coworker had sex almost every day, for 15 minutes in his car, outside of their workplace.

 

If only his "wife" would stop the silliness and make 15 minutes of time for him, OW wouldn't have had a chance.

 

The comments about "availability" are as if an OW has nothing but time on her hands when the BS is living under the freakin' roof with the WS - with endless opportunities and "availability" to do what it takes for the WS will not stray - yet, can only come up with excuses to not even carve out 15 minutes in the morning to have sex with the WS. :rolleyes:

  • Like 2
BaconSalt New Member

BaconSalt

Posted
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On my fav podcaster's show, she regularly brings up a real life story of a guy - who's wife was tooooo busy and/or tired to simply take 15 minutes in the morning to have sex with him.

 

Well guess what? He and a coworker had sex almost every day, for 15 minutes in his car, outside of their workplace.

 

If only his "wife" would stop the silliness and make 15 minutes of time for him, OW wouldn't have had a chance.

 

The comments about "availability" are as if an OW has nothing but time on her hands when the BS is living under the freakin' roof with the WS - with endless opportunities and "availability" to do what it takes for the WS will not stray - yet, can only come up with excuses to not even carve out 15 minutes in the morning to have sex with the WS. :rolleyes:

 

My wife, who "doesn't have time" or is "too tired" to have sex with me regularly watches two hours of television a night.

 

You start to really resent someone who prioritizes vegging out in front of the TV over your sex life.

  • Like 1
BaconSalt New Member

BaconSalt

Posted
Posted

Affair #1 (one night stand): Very attractive. Fit gym body, pretty face

Affair #2 (Most emotionally involved affair): Fit body, not as pretty as wife

Affair #3 (Longest duration, truly FWB without emotions): Very attractive in all ways.

 

I probably wouldn't have pursued #1 or #3 if they were less attractive. #2 was more a case of her coming on to me and me not saying no, so availability.

wmacbride Established Member

wmacbride

Posted
Posted (edited)
So a woman tending to her man's needs is her being "needy" and "adoring" him as if he was a worthless idol?

 

I don't get the modern women's loathing to just be sweet to her man.

 

Men are simple creatures. You feed him and F- him and that's all he needs. But no, women are too busy with the job, kids, her friends/relatives and hubby needs to just go put something in the microwave and leave her alone. OH, and no porn to masturbate to either, he must wait until one day "if" she's ready to "mate" with him again.

 

Call me submissive, backwards, or whatever...I believe in showing a man respect and tenderness.

 

This week I was rubbing my dude's feet and arms and then some. I don't do it to manipulate him into wanting me. I ENJOY every flippin moment touching him and making him feel good. THAT'S what people do for people they care about - they GIVE. They show affection and attention. Oh yea, and he's flippin' handsome and sweet - he deserves my affection and attention. I love putting a smile on his face and again, that's what you do when you care for someone.

 

So, for all the BS who didn't have time and/or saw it "beneath" them to simply be sweet to their man....yep, an OW - fugly or gorgeous, is gonna catch his eye cuz humans, animals, even flies are gonna gravitate towards honey - not salt.

 

So, sit around and ponder on how ugly the OW is - instead of trying to learn how to treat a man - to avoid giving another OW a shot at your man.

 

says the woman who hasno kids,isn't married,and has no idea what iit's like to bea married parent.

 

Example:

Not long after my h met his future ow, our middle kid got sick with what turned out to be the first indication she has a chronic health issue. No one knew what it was, and I was with her in the hospital while he was at home with our other two kids. At first, her doctors thought she might have a brain tumor, but it turned out she had optic neuritis, which they were telling us could be one of the first signs she had MS. ( she doesn't, but she has something with similar characteristics).

 

I was sitting by her hospital bed after she'd finally been able to go to sleep.

 

Meanwhile, he was at home,and she had been messaging him, asking how he was doing and making remarks about how I wasn't there for him. He was going to be deployed in about two months, and she was saying how I was neglecting him and not at home with him. Granted, he should have shut her down,and didn't.

 

According to your standards, I was ignoring him because I wasn't paying him compliments and rubbing his feet or having sex that night.I wasn't neglecting him. I was worried sick over my child,I was worried sick about him, and I was also trying to be there for my two other kids, all while trying to keep everything running at home and trying to figure out what the hell was going on with him ( he was showing signs of combat PTSD, but I didn't know what it was)

 

This is an extreme example, but most married people with kids have incredibly hectic lives, and are juggling lots of stressors at home, at work, in their family and beyond.

Edited by wmacbride
  • Like 9
purplesorrow Established Member

purplesorrow

Posted
Posted (edited)
So a woman tending to her man's needs is her being "needy" and "adoring" him as if he was a worthless idol?

 

I don't get the modern women's loathing to just be sweet to her man.

 

Men are simple creatures. You feed him and F- him and that's all he needs. But no, women are too busy with the job, kids, her friends/relatives and hubby needs to just go put something in the microwave and leave her alone. OH, and no porn to masturbate to either, he must wait until one day "if" she's ready to "mate" with him again.

 

Call me submissive, backwards, or whatever...I believe in showing a man respect and tenderness.

 

This week I was rubbing my dude's feet and arms and then some. I don't do it to manipulate him into wanting me. I ENJOY every flippin moment touching him and making him feel good. THAT'S what people do for people they care about - they GIVE. They show affection and attention. Oh yea, and he's flippin' handsome and sweet - he deserves my affection and attention. I love putting a smile on his face and again, that's what you do when you care for someone.

 

So, for all the BS who didn't have time and/or saw it "beneath" them to simply be sweet to their man....yep, an OW - fugly or gorgeous, is gonna catch his eye cuz humans, animals, even flies are gonna gravitate towards honey - not salt.

 

So, sit around and ponder on how ugly the OW is - instead of trying to learn how to treat a man - to avoid giving another OW a shot at your man.

 

[]A relationship is the responsibility of both people in it. They both need to do things to care for each other.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Language and tone - member moderated
  • Like 5
Birdies Established Member

Birdies

Posted
Posted
My wife, who "doesn't have time" or is "too tired" to have sex with me regularly watches two hours of television a night.

 

You start to really resent someone who prioritizes vegging out in front of the TV over your sex life.

 

Generally speaking - Men need sex to feel emotionally connected with their wives, and women need emotional closeness to want to have sex with their husbands. I suggest that perhaps your resentment is palpable and your wife is thinking, "Why would I sleep with him, he doesn't even act like he likes me." I know this scenario happened in my marriage, and it was a significant contribution to us growing more and more apart and our marriage ending. I'm sorry, it's a shltty position to be in.

  • Like 2
Gloria25 Established Member

Gloria25

Posted
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says the woman who hasno kids,isn't married,and has no idea what iit's like to bea married parent.

 

Example:

Not long after my h met his future ow, our middle kid got sick with what turned out to be the first indication she has a chronic health issue. No one knew what it was, and I was with her in the hospital while he was at home with our other two kids. At first, her doctors thought she might have a brain tumor, but it turned out she had optic neuritis, which they were telling us could be one of the first signs she had MS. ( she doesn't, but she has something with similar characteristics).

 

I was sitting by her hospital bed after she'd finally been able to go to sleep.

 

Meanwhile, he was at home,and she had been messaging him, asking how he was doing and making remarks about how I wasn't there for him. He was going to be deployed in about two months, and she was saying how I was neglecting him and not at home with him. Granted, he should have shut her down,and didn't.

 

According to your standards, I was ignoring him because I wasn't paying him compliments and rubbing his feet or having sex that night.I wasn't neglecting him. I was worried sick over my child,I was worried sick about him, and I was also trying to be there for my two other kids, all while trying to keep everything running at home and trying to figure out what the hell was going on with him ( he was showing signs of combat PTSD, but I didn't know what it was)

 

This is an extreme example, but most married people with kids have incredibly hectic lives, and are juggling lots of stressors at home, at work, in their family and beyond.

 

Not all men have good character. I would comment on what I think about your choice in a husband - but probably would get in trouble here because we're not supposed to make our posts "personal".

 

So, I'm gonna say this. Not all men are good men. Some cheaters are NOT neglected. If you married a man with bad character who was only worried about "his" needs while you had a sick child, then maybe you picked a bad man.

 

So, excluding your "extreme example", I don't need to have kids to be sweet to a man.

 

I may not have kids, but I stay busy. Sometimes I'm sore and tired after a long day/week, but the moment I hear one of my favorite songs and/or just "think" of the object of my affection - I'm ready to give some lovin'. I don't know, maybe I'm an Energizer bunny like that.

 

Also, I HAVE been through some stressful things. With my FWB, the stress got so bad where I couldn't even enjoy sex. While having sex with him, I'd literally see the faces of my enemies. But did I tell him to f=off? No, I pushed through cuz when you have someone, sometimes you have to step out of "me, me" and take care of them too. And guess what? Sex and loving on your SO "IS" why they're there for you. In stressful times, a hug, a touch, a kiss, even lovemaking can recharge your batteries and get you ready to face LIFE. And, that's one big deal about having a SO. The couple is supposed to turn to each other, not turn away. It's "US" against the world - we are a "TEAM". This week I was having a bad day and went to dude and asked him to give me a hug. The hug made me feel so good, especially when he wrapped his arm around mine. I have no problem in reaching out to my man and touching him in times of stress so we can both reenergize and face the world TOGETHER.

William Established Member

William

Posted
Posted

As a further reminder, to save more members a trip to the moderation queue, off-topic excursions into the politics of affairs are not the topic here. Post such rhetoric at the risk of your posting privileges and membership. We have hundreds, if not thousands, of threads for such rhetoric. This is not one of them. Thanks!

Gloria25 Established Member

Gloria25

Posted
Posted

Edited post after seeing moderation.

Maddieandtae Established Member

Maddieandtae

Posted
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My ex-h's OW was very pretty, beautiful blue eyes against gorgeous long dark hair. Lovely figure and I'm guessing sexually pleasing to be with. None of which I was, I remember meeting her one time, I had just had our first child and felt so frumpy next to her. I don't think their affair started at that time, I believe it was several years later but as I'm typing this I'm not so sure anymore! Its sad and pathetic on how I coped with my life back than, I eventually had an affair with a heavy smoker and drinker. Not that it matters that he smoked and drank, what matters is I chose to have sex outside of my marriage and lie about it:(

carhill Established Member

carhill

Posted
Posted
Has anyone else wondered what they physically saw in the OW or OM? Like a big step down?

 

Yeah, I did wonder this over the decades, having been around a fair amount of MW's spouses. These guys were pretty hot, some of them anyway. From my own experience with OW/MW, I'd say pretty equal, seeing them, spouse/OW side by side IRL. Both ladies were/are still attractive in middle age, and both were pretty hot as young ladies. Men, in general, tend to covet physicality as a whole, while I was a bit outlier.

 

I recall, decades ago, the first experience where the then very young MW would just kinda gaze at me and time would stop. In nearly every way, including ancestry, she could have been Natalie's twin. Though of course appearances changed with the interceding decades, that one feature that often does not change in humans, the eyes, would still gaze at me, silently. People noticed that, and her, including my exW. With all that business long since finished, I can still opine they were both attractive and wish them well.

 

As an old fart now, with the current crop of MW's, I'd have to opine that I seriously doubt any have marked physical attraction, rather emotional. That's fine with me. It works. They keep their self-described boundaries and I enjoy being alone and single. Win-win.

aileD Established Member

aileD

Posted
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My ex-h's OW was very pretty, beautiful blue eyes against gorgeous long dark hair. Lovely figure and I'm guessing sexually pleasing to be with. None of which I was, I remember meeting her one time, I had just had our first child and felt so frumpy next to her. I don't think their affair started at that time, I believe it was several years later but as I'm typing this I'm not so sure anymore! Its sad and pathetic on how I coped with my life back than, I eventually had an affair with a heavy smoker and drinker. Not that it matters that he smoked and drank, what matters is I chose to have sex outside of my marriage and lie about it:(

 

This just reminded me of the first time I met the first OW. I had no idea at the time that she was his OW. My step dad owns a business and I worked there for awhile so we were at that holiday party but H's work holiday party was at the same time so we were conflicted on what to do...both felt obligated to go to each one...so H left early from my dads party and went to his work party. I said I'd follow later if dads party didn't end too late.

 

I showed up at the work party looking good and feeling great with a few glasses of wine in me...hub took me around and introduced me to the people I didn't know. Holding my waist the entire time. Came to this girl who just looked absolutely miserable. Stringy hair and really bad skin and she was wearing what looked like a prom dress...way too dressy for the type of place/party. She was sitting down and looking like she was going to cry and since I had no idea at the time that he was wooing her, I made eye contact said it was nice to meet her , shook her hand all while being all extra snuggly with hubby (wine!).

 

She must have felt so horrible, getting all dressed up for this party thinking she was going to have some time with H and then I show up. Everyone at his work loved me too so we ended up chatting and making the rounds and dancing and doing shots etc. it was a good night I thought.

 

When I found out about her, all I could think was ..."that girl on the prom dress? With the giant ring hanging out of her nose? Her???? "

 

My husband is very handsome, good body, plus he has that CEO important company guy thing going for him that some young coworkers with daddy issues are attracted to.

 

In her defense, she wasn't that bad looking other times I just think I saw her st her worst that night

  • Like 2
Giggle Established Member

Giggle

Posted
Posted

She was rather plain I thought. But skinny. And drank. And smoked. She'd go to bars with him. She was a single kind of fun and a few years younger than me.

 

I was fluffy, always had been, and cute, always had been, but quiet and not a drinker or smoker or "fun" and I had little kids. He'd kept me nursing or pregnant for 8 years with always a little little person. She ditched her kids to be footloose with him. And boy oh boy did she need him.

 

It was a strange let down to see her. Like her? Seriously? She's not even better looking.

 

 

My mm's wife has apparently seen my picture. She told me I was old and ugly, which I actually found vastly amusing. I had always assumed from her pictures that she was older than him or at least his age and he's 8 years older than me. I've repeatedly been mistaken for early 20s in my mid30s. She is classier than me, I'll give her that. We are about polar opposites. She's plucked, and styled, and make-ups and shows off her big boobs with cleavage in her working dress-ups. I'm sooo not any of that. Casual everything and leave my eyebrows alone thanks.

I look at her and can't figure out how I appeal.

Noirek Established Member

Noirek

Posted
Posted
Scarlett Johansson, a very ugly frog, and that dude from starwars

 

It's a toad. A very important distinction because frogs are too cute and I've heard they turn into Princes.

 

Obi Wan may seem like an odd choice however my husband when he has a beard actually does look like that.

 

Sadly, I do not look like scarlet johansson.

  • Like 2
Hello Genius Member

Hello Genius

Posted
Posted
I look at photos of the OW and think 'wtf?'

My husband had strictly physical affairs and I know he used them for sex so maybe he wasn't being very picky.

 

 

Has anyone else wondered what they physically saw in the OW or OM? Like a big step down?

 

 

During the 4-5 years when I fooled around it was with super handsome, successful athletic guys. Most played college football or basketball and maintained their athletic physiques. When I was young and single I had always preferred the skinny artsy intellectual types (husband would fall in this category) but husband had let himself go and circled downward with alcohol and other issues so these strong virile types really turned me on. Based on my experience I now assume most guys who played college or pro sports are cheating on their wives. Probably not true, just got hit on by them quite a bit.

Midwestmissy Established Member

Midwestmissy

Posted
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Funny, hello genius. I was always chased by the artistic, creative, skinny guys, and I went for the athletes. And I married the athlete. And he cheated. The wiry, skinny guy? Retired wealthy at 44 lol. To be fair, I've only been in love once in my life, and it's my husband, and I don't regret any of that.

 

My daughter brought home her first boyfriend, they're in high school, 16. And he's exactly what I would not have dated at that age. He sweet and lerpy and adores her, and is so nerdy polite to us all, it's too stinking cute. There's not a cool bone in him, and I'm so glad she didn't bring home the big jock. Because I was the girl who did. I was not the preppy jock, I was the punk artist, ripping my clothes, chopping my hair, into alternative things and followed bands. And I married the sports' star. Life is very funny. Especially watching high school again thru your kids.

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