swimmergirl17 Posted December 7, 2016 Posted December 7, 2016 My guy is in the Navy and he just told me hes going into a combat zone after Christmas. HELP! What do I do, how do I cope, how do I help him? How do I not freak out. Any Military significant others out there?
Shanex Posted December 7, 2016 Posted December 7, 2016 It's a huge part of his duty. Wish him well, not much you can do about his deployment but accept it and hope he'll be fine. He will have access to wi-fi and may call you occasionally to reassure you. Due to OPSEC, I'm not going to ask where he is sent, but I'm confident he'll make it. Good luck to you both. 1
wmacbride Posted December 7, 2016 Posted December 7, 2016 My guy is in the Navy and he just told me hes going into a combat zone after Christmas. HELP! What do I do, how do I cope, how do I help him? How do I not freak out. Any Military significant others out there? I've been a military spouse for many years now, and have been through deployments,f ield duty,etc.more times than I care to think about. I'm not sure what country you are in, but here ( canada), we have a system of military family resource centres that can be really helpful. Your husband's padre or other clergy can also be really helpful, even if you are not religious. Talk to other women and men in your situation, as they will know what sorts of supports are out there. there may be warm heart line services,deployment coffee nights and briefings,and more. I would also suggest you look up "the cycle of deployment" , as it can explain some of the feelings you both may be going through. The time up to deployment can be really stressful and hectic, and it's so hard to say goodbye. After a few weeks of him being away things in your life tend to stabilize. You'll likely falling into a routine and that's okay-it's actually good. When it's getting close to be time for him to come home,again, it's a hectic time. Don't worry if you feel like you didn't make good on all the plans you might have made while he's away. Once he's home,the reunion is great, but you need to reestablish routines, and integrate any news ones you have both learned. If his deployment was rough,be there to support him, and make sure he doesn't skip any post deployment briefings. If he's seen any combat, watch for signs of PTSD. and encourage him to seek treatment right away ( trust me on this one, it's important). Keep in contact with him, send him packages ( your rear party support will help you with this) and setup a support network for yourself. Ask your friends and relatives to call you once a week to check in. Lastly, you will be able to get through this, and thrive. 1
eye of the storm Posted December 7, 2016 Posted December 7, 2016 He will be fine. Do not go super clingy or whiny. When you are getting ready to deploy, the normal mind set is to start looking ahead, separating yourself, readying yourself to be gone. Its a different mindset. When you have someone at home that is making you feel guilty for leaving or is acting like they can't handle it...it adds stress. Some people react to that stress by pulling even further away. So, here is my recommendation. Relax. Enjoy the time you have left. Act like you are fully on board with this, you support this. You will be here when he gets back. You are looking forward to making good care packages. Here are some things I liked. I love lucky charms. So my MM would mail me large boxes of them. He sent me Dave's Killer Bread, spicy brown mustard, Mayo, and dill relish with tuna packets so I could make my own tuna fish sandwiches. When it got cold super thick wool socks. He would put silly notes in them. And he would sleep on a pillow case for a week or two and then put it in a ziplock bag and mail it to me. That way I could sleep smelling his scent. Be creative. My best friend would send me scented bags to put in my locker so it wouldn't smell so bad. Most bases have decent internet. Not great. But ok. Do not demand he contact you every day. There will be days he can't and if he knows you will freak he will get stressed. Do not be an added stressor on him. Do not pick fights with him when he calls. If you do, he will call less and less. It is not his responsibility to make you happy while he is gone, his responsibility is to stay alive and come home. You can do this. But be honest, if you don't think you can, let him know now. 1
eye of the storm Posted December 7, 2016 Posted December 7, 2016 DO NOT post where he is going and when. DO NOT put on social media dates he is leaving or coming back. If you do, you will be endangering his and his buddies lives. Keep things generic if you do post anything. Don't post pray for BF cause XYZ. Have him explain OPSEC to you. 3
wmacbride Posted December 7, 2016 Posted December 7, 2016 DO NOT post where he is going and when. DO NOT put on social media dates he is leaving or coming back. If you do, you will be endangering his and his buddies lives. Keep things generic if you do post anything. Don't post pray for BF cause XYZ. Have him explain OPSEC to you. Also, as hard as it might be, don't watch the news or go looking for details online. That is one thing that's recommended here. you'll see something that will freak you out, and it may have nothing to do with the person deployed 1
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