selinaluv Posted December 8, 2016 Posted December 8, 2016 Both points raised by her Okay I do see that you said they had reservations and I am wondering if her behavior changed after she talked to them. And with her still thinking about the ex, I am also wondering if he is still in contact with her. Either way, it may come down to bad timing for you. She may really like you, but she is not in a good place for anything serious and there may be nothing you can do.
camillalev Posted December 8, 2016 Posted December 8, 2016 The age difference.. don't matter. She is definitely rebounding with OP, some of her along time is probably spent still thinking about, feeling for, missing, and maybe even crying over her ex. That means OP is in the fringes of her thoughts. I mean, during a rebound it could almost be anyone you're spending time with. At this point, that is the biggest issue. but even if that were to lift and she moved on, once she could clearly see this dating situation and consider it, it is very possible his age would put some amount of doubt in her mind. Especially if he wanted something very serious and long term. If he were 35 I wouldnt see it as a problem. A 10 year age difference(especially as you get older) is no biggie. But 20 years at her age is quite large. And unfortunately OP is not filthy rich, famous, or a rockstar. I mean, I am older than the girl but in my 20's and if i were dating a 45 year old for some reason and liked him as a person, the thought that he'd be 50 in 5 years would put a damper on things.
elaine567 Posted December 8, 2016 Posted December 8, 2016 I know she is a great prize and the dream of many 45 yo single men, but she is at a completely different life stage from you and I guess she knows it. She has her whole life ahead of her, in 5 years time you will be 50... YOU may think you are a "young" 45, but compared to a 25 yo you are "ancient", there is no getting over that. At 25 she can have her pick of young hot men. I guess you got her at a time when she was vulnerable for attention, now she isn't, so her interest in you waned. "No one in college needs a full 6 weeks of absence for exams." Exactly. I have never heard of that before. People who are interested, act interested. She is no longer interested in you, sorry to say.
TheTraveler Posted December 8, 2016 Posted December 8, 2016 I know she is a great prize and the dream of many 45 yo single men, but she is at a completely different life stage from you and I guess she knows it. She has her whole life ahead of her, in 5 years time you will be 50... YOU may think you are a "young" 45, but compared to a 25 yo you are "ancient", there is no getting over that. At 25 she can have her pick of young hot men. I guess you got her at a time when she was vulnerable for attention, now she isn't, so her interest in you waned. "No one in college needs a full 6 weeks of absence for exams." Exactly. I have never heard of that before. People who are interested, act interested. She is no longer interested in you, sorry to say. "I know she is busy but i know no one is so busy to not meet someone they care about. we have had texts and calls and met platonically for 30 minutes here and there when she came over but no initimacy." Add to what you say, he was needy and probably begging to hang out which resulted in 30 mins of platonic relationship here and there This is ship has sailed As I said, maybe he'll get a phone call or text in the future. But, there's no relationship here to build on or rescue
phineas Posted December 8, 2016 Posted December 8, 2016 6 weeks is ridiculously long. If you like someone, 6 hours is a long time. It doesn't matter if you are stuhidying or not. She's basically dumping him without having to deal with the confrontation. She's either already seeing someone else on the side or weighing her options and will only return as a plan b. Then again, how many times does a 45 yo get to hookup with a 25 yo... Oh I get it on the 25yr old hookup thing but she is still a woman that will get turned off if the guy gets invested too early. i've had women tell me "i'm busy this month" and i've just told them to hit me up when they are no longer busy because some of them still wanted to text and expected me not to spend time with other women. that wasn't gonna happen.
nothingsintheflowerz Posted December 8, 2016 Posted December 8, 2016 There is no advice on how to make this work, it isn't just up to you. Clearly she is driving the ship and she is driving it away rather than toward you.. LOL what an analogy. True, though.
smackie9 Posted December 8, 2016 Posted December 8, 2016 Doesn't matter how old she is or how mature for her age....it's what she expects of herself and what she needs at this time in her life. You were a distraction, she had her fun, and she has put you on the maybe later pile. You can't make someone want to be with you, they have to want to by their own accord. You are 45 you should know this stuff by now. 1
Ruby Slippers Posted December 9, 2016 Posted December 9, 2016 The ages are irrelevant. She's obviously not that into you. If you really like someone, you're not going to pause dating for 6 weeks for anything but the most serious of reasons. All those hours of "studying for finals" could easily be interspersed with fun times with you - if she really wanted them. You might be able to get close to her at times she's off her game, lazy, and lonely. But do you really want to hang around for scraps? 1
Blanco Posted December 9, 2016 Posted December 9, 2016 The ages are irrelevant. She's obviously not that into you. If you really like someone, you're not going to pause dating for 6 weeks for anything but the most serious of reasons. All those hours of "studying for finals" could easily be interspersed with fun times with you - if she really wanted them. You might be able to get close to her at times she's off her game, lazy, and lonely. But do you really want to hang around for scraps? At that age, plenty of guys will gladly take mid-twenties scraps.
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