barbossa Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 (edited) Last night I met a girl working retail, We hit it off and she invited me to stay in the store and keep her company while she worked, I had come with a friend so after spending 30 great minutes with her I got her number and told her If she was interested she could join my friend and I for coffee after her shift ended ( the time we spent together was interesting, she laughed, we joked around and could not have gone better IMO) around the time her shift was ending.I texted her our location, and that I already had her drink she requested and where she could find us. We exchanged 2 texts each. She did meet up with us and we had an enjoyable 45 minutes where we all talked but my friend spoke with her more than me. I am not shy, my friend just spoke more than I did. She is recently single after a long relationship and says she is bombarded with dates and men trying to date her. And openly said she was meeting another guy that night for 1st date drinks During our time together we had great conversation, I made her laugh, asked her about herself and it seemed to go really well.She told me twice to call her and ask her out when she was about to leave Today I called her to ask her out.... A) I introduced myself and she seemed confused about who I was B)She told me she did not save my number C)She could not recognize my voice D) Finally remembered me after I mentioned My friend I asked her if she would like to meet for drinks She responded if I wanted to take her out to dinner instead I told her I definitely did want to do that tomorrow if tonight went well since we would be together 1on1 today She said she already had plans tonight but would let me know later today her if she was free for dinner tomorrow Questions I want answered 1) If she's really interested in me, does the activity really matter? 2) Is she just interested in guys just taking her out showing her a good time? 3) Is she more interested in my friend? 4) Why didn't she save my number? Edited December 6, 2016 by barbossa format Link to post Share on other sites
kidm Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 Questions I want answered 1) If she's really interested in me, does the activity really matter? NO. 2) Is she just interested in guys just taking her out showing her a good time? SOUNDS LIKE IT. DATING FOR DINNER AND DRINKS, SOUNDS LIKE THIS TIME AROUND SHE WANTED TO LINE UP A GOOD DINNER. 3) Is she more interested in my friend? SOUNDS LIKE SHE IS INTERESTED IN WHOMEVER WILL TAKE HER OUT ON HER TERMS AND SHOW HER A GOOD TIME. 4) Why didn't she save my number? WHO KNOWS. SHE COULD ALSO HAVE BEEN PRETENDING NOT TO REMEMBER YOU SO TO DRIVE HOME THE POINT THAT THERE ARE MANY GUYS AFTER HER. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
CryForNoOne Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 Questions I want answered 1) If she's really interested in me, does the activity really matter? 2) Is she just interested in guys just taking her out showing her a good time? 3) Is she more interested in my friend? 4) Why didn't she save my number? My harsh but honest assessment. 1) She's not that interested in you. The activity does matter as she probably won't go out with you unless she gets a free dinner out of it. 2) Yes. 3) Maybe but who cares? Does she have his number too? 4) She's not that interested. If you don't mind probably spending ($20-50) on a free meal and drinks for her so long as you have a good time, then go for it. If you're going to end up feeling used, or can't afford that, then pass. She is probably not interested but I've won more than one women over after a lukewarm start. Do you have it in you to rally? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
DrReplyInRhymes Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 D) Finally remembered me after I mentioned My friend Your friend was the only memorable portion of it all. She isn't into you. Link to post Share on other sites
CommittedToThis Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 She told me twice to call her and ask her out Which you have done, and she's not into it for some reason, or she's giving you a ***** test, whatever. If you want it, take her out. She's into it, that's all that matters right now. It's your call as to how much effort you're willing to put into it. She seems like a lot of effort to me. Unless she's an 8 or 9, I'd move on to the next single woman being bombarded with dates. Link to post Share on other sites
olivetree Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 Here are the facts: -She told you about guys asking her out -She told you about a date she was going on -She didn't save your number -She didn't remember you till you mentioned your friend -She told you to take her out to dinner instead of drinks First way to look at it: -She's not very modest -She's not very interested -She's looking for a free meal Another way to look at it: -She is interested but... -She's a straight shooter -She's been on a lot of coffee dates recently but very few where there are two guys. So you mentioning your friend jogged her memory -She figured she didn't need to save your number because you'd call her. She likes to let a guy pursue -She is not be a big drinker or just wants to do something more romantic What does your gut tell you it is? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ChatroomHero Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 Questions I want answered 1) If she's really interested in me, does the activity really matter? NO. 2) Is she just interested in guys just taking her out showing her a good time? SOUNDS LIKE IT. DATING FOR DINNER AND DRINKS, SOUNDS LIKE THIS TIME AROUND SHE WANTED TO LINE UP A GOOD DINNER. 3) Is she more interested in my friend? SOUNDS LIKE SHE IS INTERESTED IN WHOMEVER WILL TAKE HER OUT ON HER TERMS AND SHOW HER A GOOD TIME. 4) Why didn't she save my number? WHO KNOWS. SHE COULD ALSO HAVE BEEN PRETENDING NOT TO REMEMBER YOU SO TO DRIVE HOME THE POINT THAT THERE ARE MANY GUYS AFTER HER. Honestly as I read this, I think kidm nailed it. I would add one thing- she remembered you when you contacted her. She remembered you at the store, having coffee...she remembered unless she is really dense and has a mental impairment regarding memory. I think it might be like kidm said, to drive home that everyone wants here which if it is, is just her insecurity coming out. Might be a good thing for you, she's a bit insecure. She did give you a yes though, decent sign she wanted dinner from the perspective of being able to spend quality time. Your best hope is to make it clear you are not going to orbit her hoping you're the lucky one she chooses to buy her dinner on any given night. I say have fun and forget how in demand she is or says she is but don't be her lap dog begging for contact after your date. Let her know you are in demand to based on how much fun you are to be around. Link to post Share on other sites
LD1990 Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 Sounds like a spoiled princess. "Take me out to dinner instead?" Yeah, screw that. If you ask a woman out for drinks and she tells you to take her out to dinner instead, don't just agree like any chump who's desperate for some ass. Flip it around on her, tell her "Well, I was gonna take you out for drinks, but if you want to take me to dinner that's mighty sweet of ya." You want to send the message that while yes, you want to date her, you're still a man, not a servant who gives her what she orders. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
bachdude Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 Your offer to get drinks together wasn't good enough because she isn't terribly interested to get to know you or spend time together. But a dinner, presumably at a nice place, now that would make it worth her while! Save your money. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
CryForNoOne Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 Sounds like a spoiled princess. "Take me out to dinner instead?" Yeah, screw that. If you ask a woman out for drinks and she tells you to take her out to dinner instead, don't just agree like any chump who's desperate for some ass. Flip it around on her, tell her "Well, I was gonna take you out for drinks, but if you want to take me to dinner that's mighty sweet of ya." You want to send the message that while yes, you want to date her, you're still a man, not a servant who gives her what she orders. Haha! He'll probably never get a date if he says that but if he does, I guarantee he'd make a positive impression if she thinks she's paying but he insists on paying for dinner at the end of the evening... Link to post Share on other sites
rushed Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 Another way to look at it: -She is not be a big drinker or just wants to do something more romantic This is a possibility. When I was dating, I tended to view the guys who asked me out for just drinks as just wanting to get physical. There's less time involved and drinks usually lead to the lowering of inhibitions. Dinner usually requires more time and conversation. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 snip She is recently single after a long relationship and says she is bombarded with dates and men trying to date her. And openly said she was meeting another guy that night for 1st date drinks That was the point were you should have withdrawn you interest. Take care 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted December 7, 2016 Share Posted December 7, 2016 Sounds like a spoiled princess. "Take me out to dinner instead?" Yeah, screw that. If you ask a woman out for drinks and she tells you to take her out to dinner instead, don't just agree like any chump who's desperate for some ass. Flip it around on her, tell her "Well, I was gonna take you out for drinks, but if you want to take me to dinner that's mighty sweet of ya." You want to send the message that while yes, you want to date her, you're still a man, not a servant who gives her what she orders. I agree that her answer of "take me to dinner instead" wasn't good & seems spoiled and user-y. For the OP though, it's not a great idea to say "if drinks go well tonight, i'll take you to dinner the next night". That would be a no-go for me ever. You are putting her in an audition mode. You should like her well enough for what you are offering>>>I realize she put you on the spot with her answer but yours wasn't much better considering you were serious about it. Both of you created an atmosphere of hostility kinda. You're worried she is using you or doesn't care much and you are already keeping score and looking like a cheapskate. Idk, i think calling her on that suggestion in a flirty but non-suspicious way is best or not letting her call the shots and somewhat ignoring it---provided you would still be interested in taking her out. Honestly her answer was a turn-off but so was yours. Every one knows a date is an audition but to remind someone of it is kinda crass/cheap. Tit for tat does not a good guy make. *Btw, neither are girls who seem to be looking for meal tickets as this girl seems to be. My rec is to not go on the date. She doesn't sound interested--didn't save your number, remembered your friend but not you. Save yourself the trouble. I also think generally most girls will not speak about upcoming dates to new guys if they are interested in you. Basically a girl that is normal and not drama won't want to mess up her chances with you. This one has failed on all accounts with that. So it seems like she is just seeing what she can get from you and your expense ($$$/emotional/doesn't care what it does to you). Bad investment. Link to post Share on other sites
TheTraveler Posted December 7, 2016 Share Posted December 7, 2016 Why did you ask her to meet up with you and your buddy? Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted December 7, 2016 Share Posted December 7, 2016 As my dad would say, she's got a lot of irons in the fire. My guess is you're not one of the hottest among them. Sorry. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
frus69 Posted December 7, 2016 Share Posted December 7, 2016 The fact that she doesn't even remember you yet can still have dinner with you/still asks you to treat her dinner..speaks volume. Link to post Share on other sites
Author barbossa Posted December 7, 2016 Author Share Posted December 7, 2016 The fact that she doesn't even remember you yet can still have dinner with you/still asks you to treat her dinner..speaks volume. It's better to find out quickly then later. Link to post Share on other sites
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