Faith610 Posted July 15, 2005 Posted July 15, 2005 OK I'm new here and also new to the dating game again after a three year hiatus..... Long story short...I met a guy at a church singles function...First time I have ever went to one as it was his first time going too. He was new at my church, so I did not know him or anything about him. Had a very nice time that night, alot of chemistry and after it was over he asked me to have dinner. After dinner and great conversation we went to his apartment and hung out for a while......Well hanging out sure has changed since the last time I was hanging out and I know that there were two of us there so its not all his fault. But things went a little farther than they should have...Not that far but still farther than a first date with a fellow church goer should have went. He acted a little distant at church the next day and I realized that it was just the awkwardness of the situation. He still called me several times that week and I told him that I could not have that type of thing in my life. Sex often complicates things and that was not a road I wanted to go down right now. He agreed and even said that it was good that I felt that way. Things were OK again until..... He called and asked if I wanted to "hang out" again the next night. I thought I could control myself long enough to get through that night so I agreed and told him I would call when I got ready. I called and called and called but no answer....I got stood up.....Figuring he went to sleep after a very long work day I went over to his house and knocked and got no answer still. So I chalked it up to being stood up and tried to get over the whole ordeal. He didn't call the next day or the next or the next and finally a few days later i just left a message and said I was just making sure you were ok...call me back... He did call back and said he figured I hated him and that he didn't want to call because the falling asleep thing sounded too lame to believe. OK now this maybe where I am completely dumb but I bought it. He called me several times that week and asked me what my plans were for the weekend and I told him and asked what his were and he got vague and said well I'm not really sure. Bringing up work and other things, I didn't understand because I thought if you asked me what my plans were then you were interested in going out. Obviously I was wrong but he did say he would call and maybe we could have dinner or something. Well no call Friday due to a long work day and on Saturday he called in the afternoon and asked if I wanted to "hang out" again. What is it with this guy and hanging out??? So I asked now or later? He said that later he was hanging out with his roommate and that it would have to be that afternoon. So I went over and had a nice time but the sex thing kept coming up so to speak. It was almost like he didn't remember what I had said earlier about sexual complications, I never said I wasn't going to go that far someday but just not right now. So the hang out time ended and it was just very weird. I feel as if he doenst respect me at all or my wishes. He never asks me anything about me or never wants to talk about just life or other things. I'm not sure if this is his idea of a dating relationship or is he trying to use me? He is very sweet sometimes but distant at other times. Is he into me for me or does it appear to be just a sexual conquest? And what is with this "hanging out" thing all the time?? I haven't dated in over three years so maybe this is acceptable now, but I always thought dating meant actually going somewhere especially in the beginning. I mean it doesn't have to be expensive or anything but just a chance to get out and do something. I know all of this doesn't sound too good for the beginning but I would appreciate any opinions. Thanks!!
laRubiaBonita Posted July 15, 2005 Posted July 15, 2005 ugh....leave this schmuck alone! he is just using use....what a sinner! he will/should go sTraight to hell!
LucreziaBorgia Posted July 15, 2005 Posted July 15, 2005 And what is with this "hanging out" thing all the time?? Hanging out is what I would call "complete avoidance of having to date while still having a possibility of hooking up." I expect that its probably the same for this guy too. I'm sure you aren't the only person he "hangs out" with.
loony Posted July 15, 2005 Posted July 15, 2005 Damn, I just figured out what this guy meant when he said he wanted to hang out with me, years ago. Faith610, I'd run as fast as I could. You're nice enough for him to want to sleep with you, but not more. (Seems like a lot of guys have discovered church services as hook up places....)
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