Froelich87 Posted December 6, 2016 Posted December 6, 2016 Refer to all of my posts. Break up posts. and then my Reconciliation post as we did get back together. Been together since 2010 and a break up in 2013 ... and now I'm pretty sure It's about to happen again .... Long story short: Back to reality guys. 3 years later and we are in a rut. She isn't happy anymore. Neither am I. She works 2nd shift as a correctional officer and I work first shift. Her only days off are Tuesdays and Wednesdays. Mine are Saturday and Sunday. Long story short, but she threw all her feelings at me today ... and she keeps saying that she dosesn't want to break up, but she isn't leaving me with anything. It's basically a trap. Says shes frustrated and sad ... but likes her shift and doesn't want to change it and doesn't see a future with us on this shift. Asked if I had any ideas, and I told her I didn't. So that's that. She said that "It isn't good for her anymore" so It felt like she was dumping me ... again. But she keeps saying that she isn't breaking up with me. So I don't know what to do or say. I'm deleting fb pictures at the moment and saving to drop box. I'm pretty sure it's coming. But I'm not sure when. Any ideas on what to do right now?
Philosoraptor Posted December 6, 2016 Posted December 6, 2016 Well if the issue is only time, then one would be wise to figure out how to alter work schedules. Whether that means approaching management to get it corrected, or locating other employment. Reads more to me though that she wants you to pull the trigger this time to absolve her own guilt.
Author Froelich87 Posted December 6, 2016 Author Posted December 6, 2016 Nah, it's officially over. I can't believe I took her back 3 years ago. This one is gonna be rough.
BAcK Posted December 7, 2016 Posted December 7, 2016 Dude you wasted 3 years of your life. Do not repeat the mistake. And learn from it. Btw your story is a cornerstone for everyone who wants to get back with their ex. 1
whatdeww18 Posted December 7, 2016 Posted December 7, 2016 NUUUUUUUUUUUUU! You were seriously my inspiration, if my ex does decide to come back.... I'm so sad to hear this. I think you two are very independent, driven people and have some difficulty with timing. It seems like you two are happy with work, and everything, besides having time together. You also have been together so long. If you could explain what it means for you to be unhappy and for her to be unhappy? Are there things that she wants that you just haven't realized, likewise for her? Write them out and take a couple days to think and see what you can attempt to do. Don't just say them but go through a trial period. Just my 2 cents -whatDEWWWWW
DarrenB Posted December 7, 2016 Posted December 7, 2016 Nah, it's officially over. I can't believe I took her back 3 years ago. This one is gonna be rough. The inevitable may have unfortunately approached. Don't count it as 3 years of failure or wasted time though, treat it as an experience of which you can use to your advantage in future reference. Let time heal you, seek gratitude. 1
Author Froelich87 Posted December 7, 2016 Author Posted December 7, 2016 I let **** get to my head way too much during the past 6 months that it took a toll on her. Granted, shes far from perfect. Commitment phobe for one. Kinda stopped trying to see me when she could have had extra time. Intimacy and sex was still there. Last time it was gone before it ended. There were just some unfortunate ****ty things like schedule and timing. She says that shes in love with me and cant see herself with anyone but me - but she doesnt know why she feels like this. Why i frustrate her. Why she isnt treating me the best. She doesnt know what to do. It was sad. And heartbreaking. She asked for a break bc she didnt want to break up with me. We agreed on a 2 month no contact (from me) break and she will get ahold of me. Im not pining for her. Im not waiting like a little puppy. Im trying to be a better me. I think it wont take the whole 2 months. But idk. Idk what to do. And im just acting like its over. Idk. Bad feeling. NUUUUUUUUUUUUU! You were seriously my inspiration, if my ex does decide to come back.... I'm so sad to hear this. I think you two are very independent, driven people and have some difficulty with timing. It seems like you two are happy with work, and everything, besides having time together. You also have been together so long. If you could explain what it means for you to be unhappy and for her to be unhappy? Are there things that she wants that you just haven't realized, likewise for her? Write them out and take a couple days to think and see what you can attempt to do. Don't just say them but go through a trial period. Just my 2 cents -whatDEWWWWW
Author Froelich87 Posted December 7, 2016 Author Posted December 7, 2016 It wont let me delete this f'ng profile picture. Dammit
Sweetfish Posted December 7, 2016 Posted December 7, 2016 (edited) It wont let me delete this f'ng profile picture. Dammit Read your old post...you know what I think. Your girlfriend is not who you think she is. I think she hides behind a mask and uses safety and comfort of your persona to satisfy her current needs, but your kindness and niceness gets taken for granted so thus her needs change. I think they changed as her confidence and stability changed. You said she like her shift.. So much can be found in that small sentence. What's so special about that shift and does she talk about other ppl at work? She maybe searching for the spark again and if she won't marry you or give you an answer. It's time for you to walk. .. have you got down on one knee yet..? Talked about kids? If she won't give you an answer.. walk. Edited December 7, 2016 by Sweetfish
Author Froelich87 Posted December 8, 2016 Author Posted December 8, 2016 Yes. And she doesnt want it right now. Maybe ever as far as marriage. But she wont even move in with me. That was my red flag. I haveva break up written up. But Im so scared and I dont know why. I know everything will be okay eventually. It just doesnt feel like it. I think Im going to sit on this for a couple days get a clear head, and probably send it on friday. I think im more scared of just letting ****ing go and moving on. But this is probably the only way i will be able to. I deleted the profile picture. But it still comes up with her and me, and its killing me lol Read your old post...you know what I think. Your girlfriend is not who you think she is. I think she hides behind a mask and uses safety and comfort of your persona to satisfy her current needs, but your kindness and niceness gets taken for granted so thus her needs change. I think they changed as her confidence and stability changed. You said she like her shift.. So much can be found in that small sentence. What's so special about that shift and does she talk about other ppl at work? She maybe searching for the spark again and if she won't marry you or give you an answer. It's time for you to walk. .. have you got down on one knee yet..? Talked about kids? If she won't give you an answer.. walk.
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