StillHurtin Posted July 15, 2005 Posted July 15, 2005 I work for a preschool. Recently one of the dad's drops off his child. Several times in the last few weeks he has commented on how I park my car in the parking lot. I take the last spot in the lot and park at an angel so no one door dings my car. He comments on parking my car crooked a few times a week. He keeps saying "I see you still can't park your car straight." I keep telling him I wont, it keeps it from getting hit. Again earlier this week he mentions my car. After he left my co-workers said he was flirting w/ me. I told her I hope he wasn't. Not only is he M but so am I. Yest on my way home I heard someone honk and when I looked it was him in the work van sticking his hand out the window waving at me. I waved back to be nice. I told my co-workers and they both agreed. They both said "He has the hots for you!" and they were serious. If this is true I feel so sorry for his W! It makes me sick to my stomach that he is flirting w/ me when he has a W and two beautiful children. I don't flirt back, believe me, but it sickens me that he is flirting w/ me. I have not broughten up to him that I don't appreciate him flirting b/c maybe he doesn't realize what he is doing. Maybe he is just being nice, but he doesn't talk to the other staff like he does me. I don't know why but I honestly feel guilty that he flirts w/ me when I know it shouldn't b/c I don't flirt back. In fact when he brings his child to preschool she is my only focus and I hope every day that he doesn't talk to me. Lately I have noticed he has been wearing cologne when he drops her off and he never use to do that b4. It use to be that the bus would pick her up and drop her off at daycare so I never seen him but now that he is bringing her I see him every morning. At first he wasn't wearing cologne, and if he was, I never noticed it until a few weeks ago. My H didn't wear cologne to work until he started his EA w/ the OW so I know how MM work when they are attracted to someone and want to be noticed. It just makes me so sad for his W. I am sure I'm probably not the only woman he flirts w/. He works in a female dominated place so I am sure he has plenty of women to flirt w/ there also. At what point do I need to tell him that I am feeling uncomfortable w/ his flirting? I don't think it has gotten out of hand yet, but worry that it may. It is hard b/c of him being a father to a child in my preschool also. Just makes my stomach ache for his poor W.
InsatiableStar Posted July 15, 2005 Posted July 15, 2005 It just looks like a bit of harmless flirting at this stage but I think you have a right to be concerned. Ask one of your co-workers to attend to him next time he is there and if they think it is appropriate one of them should have a word to him.
laRubiaBonita Posted July 15, 2005 Posted July 15, 2005 Originally posted by InsatiableStar It just looks like a bit of harmless flirting at this stage but I think you have a right to be concerned. Ask one of your co-workers to attend to him next time he is there and if they think it is appropriate one of them should have a word to him. Dotto again!
shygurl Posted July 15, 2005 Posted July 15, 2005 Somehow you need to mention your HUSBAND in any brief conversation - like if he teases you about how you park your car on an angle like that again, tell him that it's a trick your husband taught you and he's a smart cookie. He obviously doesn't respect his own marriage but if you make it clear you think a lot of YOUR spouse, maybe he'll get the hint?
Zaira Posted July 15, 2005 Posted July 15, 2005 That's a good idea shygurl. I think InsatiableStar has the right idea though. Distance yourself from him and let one of the other workers deal with him when he's at the centre. If you say something it might make things really awkward, or he could just say he was being friendly (and can't understand why you would see it any other way) which would probably make you feel a bit silly. If it gets any worse someone, other than you should have a quiet word to him.
shygurl Posted July 15, 2005 Posted July 15, 2005 I find it rather pathetic that her coworkers think it's so funny that this MM has the "hots" for her....yeah, that's real funny. But maybe she should confide in someone @ work she trusts - someone who wouldn't find this funny, maybe her supervisor/superior/the principal....just so that she's come forward first to share her concerns and seek guidance on how to deal with this......so that if he decides to retaliate in some way because she's rejecting him, at least her butt is covered...you know, like if he made up some story about how she was flirting with him. All she has to do is tell them that he's extra friendly to her and she doesn't want to misinterpret it but even her coworkers are teasing her that he's got a thing for her - and she finds this upsetting....and wants to handle it professionally but not make it awkward or have him accused of anything. She should also document everything .....dates, times, what he says, where she runs into him, what he does, etc. Keep a log.
Recommended Posts