Ran into my ex's new GF

[Ilovepizzalady]

on the subway platform. We chatted for about 15 minutes. I have met her twice (pre-breakup). They have been dating 4 months. We clarified some stuff like when he started dating her to see if there was overlap and she wanted to know why I had doubted him so much (I told her he told white lies, and had overlapped me with his prior relationship so I thought he'd do it to me too, and he kind of did).

 

She is still married (husband is divorcing her, fell out of love with her), and she said that she is "having fun" and she doesn't know if it's the same as she had with her ex/husband. Why did she tell me she is just having fun? Is she not in "love" with my ex? Wouldn't you know by 4 months in? Maybe she is on the rebound.

 

This all makes me sick to my stomach.

[Philosoraptor]

Probably would do you good to not partake in these conversations in the future.

 

Nothing positive will come from learning more about his life.

[Ilovepizzalady]

This is all killing me. I feel hollow and horrible.

[Satu]

Probably would do you good to not partake in these conversations in the future.

 

Nothing positive will come from learning more about his life.

 

As stated above.

 

Having that conversation was like hitting your hand with a hammer.

 

The less you know, the better for you.

 

 

*No direct contact.

*No sending or receiving of messages.

*Block any means he might use to contact you.

*No replies to anything that gets through your blocks.

*No indirect contact through third parties.

*De-friend or delete him from all social media.

*No monitoring of him on social media.

*No 'little birds' feeding you news.

*Tell people that you don't want to know anything about what he is doing or saying.

 

 

Take care.

[Ilovepizzalady]

Why did she say she was just having fun if they are a couple??

[Satu]

Why did she say she was just having fun if they are a couple??

 

The less you know the better.

[Philosoraptor]

Why did she say she was just having fun if they are a couple??

No good will come pondering this. And the answer to the question will cause nothing but more pain. The less you know, and the less you focus on his life, the better.

[dumbass2]

Why did she say she was just having fun if they are a couple??

 

You're suppose to have fun as a couple. They're in the honeymoon stage and not taking things too seriously, which is how it should be early on.

[eightytwenty]

You're suppose to have fun as a couple. They're in the honeymoon stage and not taking things too seriously, which is how it should be early on.

 

 

So? not your circus, not your monkeys. move on because wondering is keeping him fresh on your brain..

[Ilovepizzalady]

Yes but she said she didn't think it was the same feeling as her ex husband. So she isn't in LOVE like she was with him. Gives me hope

[Chief1970]

Yes but she said she didn't think it was the same feeling as her ex husband. So she isn't in LOVE like she was with him. Gives me hope

 

Gives you hope? You actually want him back?

[eightytwenty]

Yes but she said she didn't think it was the same feeling as her ex husband. So she isn't in LOVE like she was with him. Gives me hope

 

 

So he left you.. and you want him back? For what reason?? Really have some sort of self respect and not be a doormat. He'll do it again and again to you. Move on!

[Viking]

Yes but she said she didn't think it was the same feeling as her ex husband. So she isn't in LOVE like she was with him. Gives me hope

 

What if she hates her ex husband? If her feeling different from her ex and she hates her ex, how will that make you feel better?

 

It will be best advised to avoid or seeking out the new girl. You don't need to keep mashing salt into your wound. Continually "wondering" will open the wound back up and each time you see him/her, you'll rub more salt in and be reminded how fresh the wound is.

[breakupthrowaway663]

Wow, so this guy is knowingly dating someone's wife?

 

And she is dating while married?

 

Leave these two trash bags to their devices in their dumpster they think is a healthy foundation for a relationship.

 

Who cares about anything else, this is a disaster you want no part in. She'll probably "fall out of love" with him at some point too. She sounds like an awful person filled with self-entitlement. And your ex is no better for dating her. Don't take this man back under any circumstance. Dating a married woman shows a serious lack of character.

[DarrenB]

It no longer concerns you or involves you, therefore the matter and any previous/current/future conversations should be dropped.

[Ilovepizzalady]

Wow, so this guy is knowingly dating someone's wife?

 

And she is dating while married?

 

Leave these two trash bags to their devices in their dumpster they think is a healthy foundation for a relationship.

 

Who cares about anything else, this is a disaster you want no part in. She'll probably "fall out of love" with him at some point too. She sounds like an awful person filled with self-entitlement. And your ex is no better for dating her. Don't take this man back under any circumstance. Dating a married woman shows a serious lack of character.

 

Her husband left her, he fell out of love with her. She still wanted to stay with her husband and still loved him. She had her heart broken by her husband

 

So it's not that she's evil but if she isn't taking this relationship as seriously, my ex will get very hurt. I know it's not my business now though.

 

I have to keep telling myself to STOP THINKING ABOUT THEM. It kills me that he's with her and not me, that he chose her and not me, that he loves her and not me, I am dying inside.

[breakupthrowaway663]

Her husband left her, he fell out of love with her. She still wanted to stay with her husband and still loved him. She had her heart broken by her husband

 

So it's not that she's evil but if she isn't taking this relationship as seriously, my ex will get very hurt. I know it's not my business now though.

 

I have to keep telling myself to STOP THINKING ABOUT THEM. It kills me that he's with her and not me, that he chose her and not me, that he loves her and not me, I am dying inside.

 

Ah okay, but that clarification only changes things in a minor way. He is her rebound right now. She's just having "fun" and doesn't feel the same love. Her heart is not with him.

 

He is in over his head here. Marriage is huge. This girl still has a lot of processing she needs to do.

 

Regardless, you are hurt and that's okay. You just spoke with the person your ex is dating. That's like destroying your no contact with a lobotomy. I would be destroyed too if I ran into and talked to the person my ex cheated on with. Let the grief process. Do not be ashamed by it. In time he will not matter to you anymore, and someone else will enter your life and their eyes will light up when they see you, and you can feel secure with him.

 

I recommend getting a diary of some sort temporarily and write down all your feelings into it. Everything horrible, progress of moving forward, cry into it, all of it. Whatever you need to do. It will help.