smile95 Posted July 15, 2005 Posted July 15, 2005 I love my best friend to death. She has been a friend of mine since high school. She is married and is now pregnant. Everything I want. I am so happy for her, but I am kinda jealous that she has a husband and now having a child-what I want more than anything. I am a good person? Why can't I find a good man? I am trying so hard to be happy for her but inside I am really down. How do I get over this jealousy? I keep telling myself that it all will happen for me one day, but it still is hard. I am so excite for her, but do not want to let on that I feel this way.
shygurl Posted July 15, 2005 Posted July 15, 2005 Girl, I gather you're rather young still....in your 20s?........you have PLENTY of time to find the right guy for you. Thank your lucky stars you're not in your 40s and trying to find someone, at that point realizing that the dream of having your own children is not even very realistic. Being jealous of what others have is not good because for all you feel you're lacking, think about how much you DO have - things that others don't have/never will have? Be thankful you have your health (I'm assuming you do) and that you're not lying in a hospital bed somewhere, at your age, dying of cancer............be thankful you have a roof over your head and friends and family who love you. Heck, be thankful you even have a best friend (many don't, in fact, some people don't have any friends). Think of all the things you have to be thankful for and wish your best friend the best - hope and pray she has a good and healthy pregnancy and baby.
Author smile95 Posted July 15, 2005 Author Posted July 15, 2005 Thanks you are right.....she always tells me how she wishes she had a family like mine, so I should be thankful for that! There are a lot of great things in my lfe. I need to start focusing on them. I am 28, so my clock is ticking though! THanks. Sometimes I just need to snap out of that funk I get in!
XNemesisX Posted July 15, 2005 Posted July 15, 2005 I feel just like you do (as always ) All of my friends are in great relationships right now. It takes everything in me to NOT be jealous...but I really am. One of my friends is going to Greece in a week with her GREAT boyfriend who adores and treats her so well. We have to live in hope... I still sometimes feel that it is unfair that I have not been able to accomplish a great relationship as of yet while everyone else appears to. Relative deprivation= Everyone around you has something that you don't. When you know that not everyone in the world is better off than you, it feels that way because the people you are close to have more. I realize this yet I still feel that other people are happier. I can't shake that feeling sometimes.
New_Wife Posted July 15, 2005 Posted July 15, 2005 Do you think it would help if you told her? Not in an angry way, but if you told her how happy you are for her and all that she has, and sometimes (insert embarassed giggle) you're even a little jealous. Airing it might lessen the effect, and who knows, maybe her husband has a friend who's just right for you.....
westernxer Posted July 15, 2005 Posted July 15, 2005 You'll be fine once you realize you don't need to compete with the Joneses. It's actually quite liberating...
LittleMiss Posted July 15, 2005 Posted July 15, 2005 Think of everything your friend has. Would you want her life? Would you want EVERYTHING that she has? That's including her problems! I used to be jealous of a friend of mine who didn't have to work, her boyfriend made good money, they had 2 children, a new car, new apt. Then, I started thinking I would hate to be a mother of two toddlers. They are a handful. Then, I thought her boyfriend isn't all that nice to her and talks to her ugly in front of friends. I wouldn't want him to be my man. It went on and on from there. Your friend's life looks good, but everyone has their problems and she does too. Your time will come and everything will fall into place, and who knows maybe someone will be jealous of you.
Opium Posted July 15, 2005 Posted July 15, 2005 Originally posted by shygurl Girl, I gather you're rather young still....in your 20s?........you have PLENTY of time to find the right guy for you. Thank your lucky stars you're not in your 40s and trying to find someone, at that point realizing that the dream of having your own children is not even very realistic. Being jealous of what others have is not good because for all you feel you're lacking, think about how much you DO have - things that others don't have/never will have? Be thankful you have your health (I'm assuming you do) and that you're not lying in a hospital bed somewhere, at your age, dying of cancer............be thankful you have a roof over your head and friends and family who love you. Heck, be thankful you even have a best friend (many don't, in fact, some people don't have any friends). Think of all the things you have to be thankful for and wish your best friend the best - hope and pray she has a good and healthy pregnancy and baby. With that said, (which is very nicely put made me think about my blessings), You can enjoy the baby just as well. She's your best friend and your in each others lives to help one another through good and bad times, that's what friends are for, right?. You may not have children of your own but you could be like an "aunt" to the baby and share the happiness together as friends. One day you'll have your glory and I'm sure your friend will be right next to you sharing it. I can understand you're thinking, "holy crap I'm almost 30", but now-a-days woman are having babies in their 40's. I too can't wait to have my family but I know God has a plan and eventually I'll have my family too.
A Fly onThe Wall Posted July 15, 2005 Posted July 15, 2005 Originally posted by beth5201 How do I get over this jealousy? start looking at things about your life that you love and don't look at other peoples lives and wish you were them. You'll get your chance at the things you want in life.. Wait and watch for the doors to open
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