chooselife Posted December 5, 2016 Posted December 5, 2016 I met a guy recently online and we hit it off, or so I thought! We have only messaged once at a weekend in the morning, the rest of the time it's 10pm or later, again they are few and far between. We are still in the get to know you phase, I wish he would just ask me out on a date! Thing is the quality of his messages are great but the frequency is poor. Also why would he text late in the evening? Could he be in a relationship already and trying to pull the wool over my eyes? Or is he just not that interested? Any advice appreciated
Lorenza Posted December 5, 2016 Posted December 5, 2016 He probably waits until his gf/wife falls asleep 5
Scarlett.O'hara Posted December 5, 2016 Posted December 5, 2016 I also think it is very likely that this guy is in a committed relationship. The times he contacts you (or doesn't) is a huge red flag. If you start to develop feelings for a guy in a relationship you are going to get hurt. Don't believe me, just check out the other man/woman forum. I'm sure you will find others who have been deceived into getting involved with someone, only to find out they are married with kids etc.. but by then they have fallen for the guy. Do your research now and find out exactly who you are dealing with before taking things any further. You have been warned. 3
Sunkissedpatio Posted December 5, 2016 Posted December 5, 2016 Have you met him in person yet? Could be he just leads a busy life and by the time he gets home from gym and work, winds down and has dinner he sits down to text... Nah, who am I kidding. I think he is probably already with someone. 1
kismetkismet Posted December 5, 2016 Posted December 5, 2016 How long have you been chatting? There's no way to tell with someone you've just been chatting with and haven't even met in person, and chatting on the OLD site isn't actually dating in itself. It's more like introducing people to one another who can then decide to go on a date or not. Even the first date is still not really the kind of implication as going on a date with someone you've actually met. It's just a 'first meeting.' You are putting too much thought into something that hasn't become anything yet. He's likely messaging other people as well, and could be in a relationship already. If he doesn't ask you on a date soon I'd just move on. 1
Shanex Posted December 5, 2016 Posted December 5, 2016 It's suspicious. While he may be busy all day. Doesn't take long to say hi in a quick text. 1
smackie9 Posted December 5, 2016 Posted December 5, 2016 If it doesn't feel right, then it's not. Do not invest anymore of your time. 2
Author chooselife Posted December 6, 2016 Author Posted December 6, 2016 He actually text me at 5pm to say he hoped I had a good day and that he was heading to the gym. He also said he hoped I had a good session as he knows I was going to the gym too. No I haven't met him in person yet (waiting for him to ask, would be nice but not the end of the world if he doesn't). I just don't want to get burned, saying that I'm not emotionally invested a few messages isn't a lot! I wish I could meet someone in the real world hate online dating!
winny Posted December 6, 2016 Posted December 6, 2016 He actually text me at 5pm to say he hoped I had a good day and that he was heading to the gym. He also said he hoped I had a good session as he knows I was going to the gym too. No I haven't met him in person yet (waiting for him to ask, would be nice but not the end of the world if he doesn't). I just don't want to get burned, saying that I'm not emotionally invested a few messages isn't a lot! I wish I could meet someone in the real world hate online dating! Just ask him... hey are you planning to meet soon because I dont like talking too much on text. What's with all this waiting. I have done it in past... in fact I have even said... let's meet this saturday and got the date.
eightytwenty Posted December 6, 2016 Posted December 6, 2016 My fiancé in the beginning stages never texted me during the day, and we still don't unless he calls to check up at lunch and on his way home.. 1
Author chooselife Posted December 6, 2016 Author Posted December 6, 2016 To be honest I was hoping he was interested enough to ask me! The last time I asked a guy out it ended it in disaster! Just ask him... hey are you planning to meet soon because I dont like talking too much on text. What's with all this waiting. I have done it in past... in fact I have even said... let's meet this saturday and got the date.
winny Posted December 6, 2016 Posted December 6, 2016 To be honest I was hoping he was interested enough to ask me! The last time I asked a guy out it ended it in disaster! Do you really think, who asked who for the first date actually decides the fate of the relationship or magically changes the guy into "the one" if he asks you out first. It is just the first date... who cares... 1
Sunkissedpatio Posted December 6, 2016 Posted December 6, 2016 He actually text me at 5pm to say he hoped I had a good day and that he was heading to the gym. He also said he hoped I had a good session as he knows I was going to the gym too. No I haven't met him in person yet (waiting for him to ask, would be nice but not the end of the world if he doesn't). I just don't want to get burned, saying that I'm not emotionally invested a few messages isn't a lot! I wish I could meet someone in the real world hate online dating! I don't understand why in the world you would invest all this time in texting back and forth with god knows what on the other end? If he isn't asking to meet you, next him! That's how you avoid getting burned. You read the signs and act accordingly. It doesn't matter what his reason is, or if he is already taken, if he isn't acting on asking you out, then he isn't motivated to do so. Why invest all this time on getting "acquainted" with him via text and expecting his "have a great day texts" as if he were your boyfriend? You are emotionally invested and came on here looking for answers. A person who is not emotionally invested ignores the reasons and moves on. There is nothing wrong with being emotionally invested, and it's only natural that you would be, because you are communicating with him and it keeps you wanting more. But if you don't want to get burned then read the signs. 2
jorgeg3d Posted December 6, 2016 Posted December 6, 2016 Honestly just ask him, whats up? And to be honest, a man should be asking for a date within the first couple of days of meeting a woman, online or not. 1
mushroomlol Posted December 7, 2016 Posted December 7, 2016 I am usually super busy about this time of the year. Last year this time I was talking to this guy online and the only time I can reply or check his message was during late nights (usually around 1am when I finished my work and finally got home). And it had been the same for almost a month before we finally met in person. I mean personally I will not be super invested in checking or replying to someone's texts during work if I haven't met that guy in person. Did you ask what he does for a living? Is it because he is just super busy at work? You can ask about things about him to get a sense of why he texts you late. Don't be too straightforward asking 'why do you always text me at late night'. Get to know him first.
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