Reaching out to Ex after he dumped me twice? I blocked him but ....?

[moonchild94]

Okay so my ex who was my first boyfriend and sex partner dumped me twice.

The whole relationship was built on insecurity and just both of us at our lows and not ready at all. I tried hard to fight for it but he dumped me.

He did treat me horrible and even gave me an STI.

 

It's been 2 months since he dumped me and I'm still angry and I realize I deserve way better and I will get someone way better. I'm actually moving to a different state next month. I'm so ready and excited. However, I was talking to a friend last night and his name came up. My friend was still friends with him on fb and found out he deactivated his FB and even his instagram. I guess the last post he put was that he was thinking about life.

It shocked us both because he is always on social media and never deactivated it before. I've only known him for 2-3 months but I believe I knew him way more than the people around him. I have a bad feeling and I want to send him some encouraging words. I still love him as a person but definitely not for a relationship. I really feel something is wrong. Idk, I can feel when someone is down or something is wrong. Should I text him some encouraging words/hope he has a good 2017? People always say I care too much and that I will get hurt, and to stay away from him. I also don't want to intrude if he has a new girlfriend or something. I could be wrong on everything but I don't know this isn't normal from him. Why do I care? I'm not sure honestly. I know for sure I still get hurt and nervous when his name comes up. But I definitely do not want romance and I'm working on myself and career right now. I'm actually more excited about learning about myself and getting to know myself. I'm still trying to get on my feet but I'm proud of myself. I kinda feel more confident as well. I always had a soft spot for broken people though. Should I send him a message and then put him back on blocked? I dont really expect a reply but the world is so crazy I just feel like love needs to be shared rather than hate/confusion. We left on such a bad note... well I kinda begged him and he kicked me out of his home. So I blocked him for 2 months but now I forgive him even if someone in their right mind shouldn't forgive someone like him.

[Zahara]

Remain NC. Your priority is YOU and your healing. Contact could set you back and you don't want to take that risk. It's wonderful that you are a caring person but invest in yourself first before you start going out and trying to rescue others, especially someone that treated you badly.

[moonchild94]

Remain NC. Your priority is YOU and your healing. Contact could set you back and you don't want to take that risk. It's wonderful that you are a caring person but invest in yourself first before you start going out and trying to rescue others, especially someone that treated you badly.

 

So I do I remain NC forever then?

I blocked him and I highly doubt I will ever see him again after I move.

Yeah, I know it's best not to reach out and it sucks. I feel so bad and I really hope he is doing okay... But I'm definitely more focused on me.

It's so weird that I'll never talk or ever see someone that I gave myself to/cared for with an abundance of love. I just hope he's not suicidal. Wishful thinking is that it finally clicked in his head and he's getting himself together so he deleted all of his social media.

[Blanco]

It's important to learn and remember that when someone tells us they don't want us anymore (i.e. dumps us), their life is no longer our problem.

 

Maybe it sounds cold and ruthless, but when you've been given the boot, your only concern should be your own well-being. Their problems are no longer any of your concern.

[VeveCakes]

Hes fine. I deactivated FB too and can'ttell you how annoying ppl assuming I was having a mid life crises.

 

Ugh no just sick of FB.

 

This man treated you horribly. You dont need him back in your life.

[moonchild94]

It's important to learn and remember that when someone tells us they don't want us anymore (i.e. dumps us), their life is no longer our problem.

 

Maybe it sounds cold and ruthless, but when you've been given the boot, your only concern should be your own well-being. Their problems are no longer any of your concern.

 

He deleted his Instagram too so idk. Yeah he could just be sick if his social media forsure. It's just weird because even during other stressful times he never deleted his social media. I just know something's wrong but yeah not my problem anymore.

[moonchild94]

It's important to learn and remember that when someone tells us they don't want us anymore (i.e. dumps us), their life is no longer our problem.

 

Maybe it sounds cold and ruthless, but when you've been given the boot, your only concern should be your own well-being. Their problems are no longer any of your concern.

 

He was wish washy. He wanted me and then he didn't. We argued over the sole fact that I didn't think he liked me enough because of his actions. That's why he dumped me twice. So I mean I guess. The dude gave me an STD and dumped me. Why am I still concerned about this guy? I have a really big heart and I'm too naive to think he even cares or is sorry too. Just sucks though....

[Blanco]

You're still concerned about him because you don't value yourself and you what value you do see in yourself seems to depend mostly on how others around you see you. In short, if someone close to you doesn't value you, you feel you don't have much worth.

[moonchild94]

You're still concerned about him because you don't value yourself and you what value you do see in yourself seems to depend mostly on how others around you see you. In short, if someone close to you doesn't value you, you feel you don't have much worth.

 

I guess I need to focus and love myself completely before I enter into any type of new relationship later.

[Scarlett.O'hara]

Deleting social media doesn't mean he is suicidal, it is nothing to concern yourself about. It just sounds like you are looking for an excuse to contact him which will only make you appear desperate for his attention.

 

You are about to start an exciting new chapter in your life but now you are considering sabotaging it by contacting this guy, please don't do it.

 

Leave him in the past where he belongs and look towards your bright future.

[basil67]

If he wanted you or your help in his life, he wouldn't have dumped you.

[moonchild94]

Deleting social media doesn't mean he is suicidal, it is nothing to concern yourself about. It just sounds like you are looking for an excuse to contact him which will only make you appear desperate for his attention.

 

You are about to start an exciting new chapter in your life but now you are considering sabotaging it by contacting this guy, please don't do it.

 

Leave him in the past where he belongs and look towards your bright future.

 

I know it doesnt mean anything. I just knew him and it's really odd of him to do that is all. But I will never know. Yeah, I need to just keep it in the past and keep walking. I have some great opportunities coming and I can't wait to experience them. It just sucks that my first bf... a 25 year old man, mean, alcoholic who always blamed me, always got mad at me and gave me an STD turned out to be this kind of guy. I hate how I experienced my first with him... then got dumped twice. I knew my gut was right in the beginning. When I was dating him I was really stressed out and very suspicious of him.Turns out my suspicions were right. Intuition and gut... I will always trust.

[moonchild94]

If he wanted you or your help in his life, he wouldn't have dumped you.

 

Dumped me twice. Yeah I guess I need to get the hint.

I wish I could've showed him a lavish l grew up and had.

I wanted to get him and show him many things but he didnt want to do that with me.

[LargoLagg]

So I do I remain NC forever then?

I blocked him and I highly doubt I will ever see him again after I move.

Yeah, I know it's best not to reach out and it sucks. I feel so bad and I really hope he is doing okay... But I'm definitely more focused on me.

It's so weird that I'll never talk or ever see someone that I gave myself to/cared for with an abundance of love. I just hope he's not suicidal. Wishful thinking is that it finally clicked in his head and he's getting himself together so he deleted all of his social media.

Yes, forever. It seems unthinkable, but as time goes on, you realize exactly how NORMAL this really is.

[basil67]

It just sucks that my first bf... a 25 year old man, mean, alcoholic who always blamed me, always got mad at me and gave me an STD turned out to be this kind of guy. I hate how I experienced my first with him... then got dumped twice. I knew my gut was right in the beginning. When I was dating him I was really stressed out and very suspicious of him.Turns out my suspicions were right. Intuition and gut... I will always trust.

 

You talked earlier about having a really big heart. And loving in abundance.

 

But read what you wrote about him. This is not deserving of love - this is deserving of running in the other direction.

 

You are loving to a fault. And I truly mean 'fault'. It's really not healthy to lavish love on someone who treats you like rubbish. You need to do a bit of introspection and figure out why you're choosing to love someone who treats you badly.