Lost5555 Posted July 15, 2005 Posted July 15, 2005 I don't know what forum this belongs in. But here is my story. I got word today from a friend that my ex was interested in her. I found this weird because he had said while we were dating that he has a very strict policy of never dating a girl that his friends have dated or is a friend of one of the girls he has dated. So I sent him this email: Hey there, I thought it wouldn't bug me, but...regarding F - I thought you promised me that you would never date one of my friends...? She told me you asked if it would be comfortable for her, but I hope you realize that such a situation would be a little awkward for me. I work with her on a couple cases and she's a regular "drinks/shopping/spa-day with the girls" kinda pal...I confide in her at times, and frankly I am concerned about her willingness. But of course I care about you and want you to be happy, so I certainly won't stand in your way if you really want to change your "no dating a girl I used to date's friends" policy. I guess I spoke so highly of you in the past that apparently I made her interested in you - haha. You might be able to attribute the line of gals at your door to me... LOL. Anyway, hope all is well with the new gig. Talk soon, Jen And I got this in response from him: I don't have to time to have an exchange on this so please don't reply to this. Basically, I will not date her. I made it sound like it is not a good idea for us to date because it would be awkward. I only wrote her b/c she flirted with me. NOTE: I forbid you to talk with her about this b/c it is between me and her. I don't want to find out that you did later. Bottom line: case closed Jen. That's it. If you continue to "talk this one out with me", I am going to get frustrated and back away. There is nothing for you to worry about here. There will be no dating with F. Gotta go L Now, is it just me, or is his response out of control rude and just plain weird? "Forbid" me to talk to her? She's MY friend!! And telling me not to respond because he doesn't have time??? It really bums me out because although we were broken up (about a month now), we were still really good friends. I could confide in him, hang out with him, rely on him...all of that still, just without the romance. That said, the breakup is still somewhat fresh and my feelings for him are still there a little.
RecordProducer Posted July 15, 2005 Posted July 15, 2005 Well Jen, honestly, your email to him was rude too. You basically tried to forbid him to date your friend too by calling him on the promise he gave you. Matter of fact he didn't give you any promise, he just said he wouldn't date a GF's friend. In any case, you have no right to interfere no matter how upset you. You can be disappointed and break up your friendship with F, but you have no right to tell them what to do or not do. You said in the email you want him to be happy and won't stand in his way. That's the right attitude, but it's unnecessary to say that. Basically why do you mind it if he dated F? It's only your jealousy and nothing else. You won't be together again as much as I understand. You said the situation would be a little awkward for you. So two people who like each other should not be together because it would be a little awkward for you? I know how you feel. I would feel bad too if I were interested in the ex and he wanted to date my ex. But obviously that's not even the case care. She wants him and he doesn't want her. She was fair enough to ask you how you would feel about it. Be fair enough to tell her you wish her to be happy. She doesn't want to take your BF. It's your ex. You also told him she was interested in him. That was really between him and her. Maybe she didn't want him to know that or at least not from you. Besides it wasn't very wise of you.
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