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Bracing for Alone Again


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Posted (edited)

My girlfriend and her daughter are moving out after two years of living together. I feel very alone. I am alone. This big house where my son grew up in and where all his friends used to congregate is now empty again. Just me and a couple cats. I feel very hopeless and scared. I really don't have a lot of friends, at least not people close enough to open up to. I wonder if my best years are behind me. I miss when I was married and our son was young and we were like the Three Musketeers. I would give my right arm for a time machine. I would step into that thing and not look back. In so many ways I am responsible for my own fate. First a marriage and then another relationship, both now failed, both now part of my past. My own fault. I took these relationships for granted, I think. I did not appreciate how fragile relationships can be. I could have been better in so many ways... Somehow I need to put one foot in front of the other and move forward, but how? I hate the darkness that is in front of me. I hate that all of this is happening right before the holidays when I was just about to put the Christmas lights up. I hate what lies immediately ahead. This sucks.

Edited by Jason5208
Posted
My girlfriend and her daughter are moving out after two years of living together. I feel very alone. I am alone. This big house where my son grew up in and where all his friends used to congregate is now empty again. Just me and a couple cats. I feel very hopeless and scared. I really don't have a lot of friends, at least not people close enough to open up to. I wonder if my best years are behind me. I miss when I was married and our son was young and we were like the Three Musketeers. I would give my right arm for a time machine. I would step into that thing and not look back. In so many ways I am responsible for my own fate. First a marriage and then another relationship, both now failed, both now part of my past. My own fault. I took these relationships for granted, I think. I did not appreciate how fragile relationships can be. I could have been better in so many ways... Somehow I need to put one foot in front of the other and move forward, but how? I hate the darkness that is in front of me. I hate that all of this is happening right before the holidays when I was just about to put the Christmas lights up. I hate what lies immediately ahead. This sucks.

 

Its very often the men blame them selves for the collapse of a relationship.. usually its two parties involved? Why you took it for granted?

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Posted

I guess because when you are in it you don't stop to think about what life would be like if you lose it. Now, facing a new reality, I see situations that I could have handled differently. Little arguments I should have made more of an effort for us to talk through and resolve.

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