fatjoez Posted December 4, 2016 Posted December 4, 2016 Met a girl about 1 month ago. Been out 4/5 times in person & talked every day for last 2 weeks. Danced, laughed, talked. Personalities almost 100% in sync. She's traditional & I'm happy to go slow. We've held hands, walked romantically along the beach, hugged etc. She's opened up to me about family, life, almost everything. (Except past relationships) Told her mum "mum I met a guy", her boss & some friends about me too. Said she never imagined meeting anyone like me & that I'm caring like her dad. I honestly think this could be the girl I'd marry and I think she does too. BUT something is holding her back. Last week we met up & she said she wanted to be honest that she has stuff to "sort out" first. She just broke up with a guy less than a month before meeting me & he's still "hanging around" Thinks it's unfair to involve me & doesn't want to mess things up between us. She said she's torn: Part of her says to stop talking to me/seeing me while she sorts it out & the other part doesn't want to. I told her I wanted to keep seeing her & support her through whatever it was. We talked for over an hour & she said okay then was very warm and close. Yesterday we had plans to meet up but she cancelled and said the same thing all over again. Things to sort out, confused, not sure what to do. I again said I wanted to see her & support her but she wouldn't agree this time. She said let me call you later on tonight (didn't call). Just wondering how to handle things from here other than waiting for her to figure herself out.
ExpatInItaly Posted December 4, 2016 Posted December 4, 2016 She's done, OP. She was hoping you'd take the hint. Please, don't waste more of your time with her. When someone tells you they're still attached to an ex, believe them and exit stage left. 3
winny Posted December 4, 2016 Posted December 4, 2016 Give her space and tell her you are there if she needs you. Don't try to over involve yourself because obviously she is not comfortable that way. With the old guy still in picture, I would suggest you to be very careful here and understand she may get back with him and you might just be a rebound. I hope she sorts out things and gets back to you in the mean time... chill out and be ready for any consequence. 1
Redhead14 Posted December 4, 2016 Posted December 4, 2016 Met a girl about 1 month ago. Been out 4/5 times in person & talked every day for last 2 weeks. Danced, laughed, talked. Personalities almost 100% in sync. She's traditional & I'm happy to go slow. We've held hands, walked romantically along the beach, hugged etc. She's opened up to me about family, life, almost everything. (Except past relationships) Told her mum "mum I met a guy", her boss & some friends about me too. Said she never imagined meeting anyone like me & that I'm caring like her dad. I honestly think this could be the girl I'd marry and I think she does too. BUT something is holding her back. Last week we met up & she said she wanted to be honest that she has stuff to "sort out" first. She just broke up with a guy less than a month before meeting me & he's still "hanging around" Thinks it's unfair to involve me & doesn't want to mess things up between us. She said she's torn: Part of her says to stop talking to me/seeing me while she sorts it out & the other part doesn't want to. I told her I wanted to keep seeing her & support her through whatever it was. We talked for over an hour & she said okay then was very warm and close. Yesterday we had plans to meet up but she cancelled and said the same thing all over again. Things to sort out, confused, not sure what to do. I again said I wanted to see her & support her but she wouldn't agree this time. She said let me call you later on tonight (didn't call). Just wondering how to handle things from here other than waiting for her to figure herself out. She's right, it's only been a month since her previous relationship ended. She has a lot to process and it is unfair to use another man as a distraction and seek comfort from all that. I'm caring like her dad. -- Big red flag. You don't want to be her Dad and you don't want a parent-child relationship . . . Yeah, she didn't call . . . don't reach out to her. Let this be. Don't be the rebound . . . 2
bachdude Posted December 5, 2016 Posted December 5, 2016 She brought up the topic a second time with you. It's what she wants. Sorry, bro. If it were me, I'd not get involved with her any further. Protect your heart. 1
Erik30 Posted December 5, 2016 Posted December 5, 2016 She's right, it's too soon. You can't support her, you're not her friend, you want to date her. How are you going to feel if she gets back with her ex after you've been there for her? She's obviously not over him yet, but at least she's been honest about it. She already tried to end it twice, but you persuaded her the first time to keep seeing you. Just walk away, give her some space, and maybe she'll come back in some weeks/months. At this point there's a pretty big chance that you'll end up being a rebound anyway 1
kismetkismet Posted December 5, 2016 Posted December 5, 2016 It's too soon, I would back off until/if she's ready. I've seen this happen many times though where a girl breaks up with someone and immediately starts dating on OLD to distract herself from the pain, but then the shock wears off and she realizes she actually needs to deal with it/isn't even sure of the decision. I wouldn't be surprised at all if they get back together or try to work it out. 1
Author fatjoez Posted December 6, 2016 Author Posted December 6, 2016 Thanks guys. Will follow this advice and leave her to herself, as difficult as that is. 1
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