Amazing GF says I don't share deep feelings or past

[Popsicle]

Thought I would update. Friday we texted about what to do on my bday. Long story short there was a miscommunication and what I told her she thought I was going on a date that night with someone else. When we talked Sat she asked what we were doing. I was surprised and said I told her. She was shocked and told me what she had assumed. Said she just hung out with a neighbor couple that we've hung with before and they asked how I was doing and she said well he is out on a date. They said ohhhhh. She told me she drank too much and crashed late. She said it was no big deal but it didn't come acros that way.

 

So that evening was amazing. 4pm to 4am. Laughter. Closeness. I had not seen her this excited and happy in awhile. Active date. Not just dinner and drinks. She posted a pic on social media of the two of us in a fun pose. Captioned it happy bday to this guy. what an incredible human being I am and proud to spend my days with him. She NEVER posts private stuff on social media. Very private.

 

I woke up at 11:30 to a dozen texts from her. Saying Wake up. Helllooo. Hiii. Etc. Wanted to go to brunch. We spent the day together with brunch and shopping. I hug her from behind while looking at something on a shelf. Or we'd walk and she was rubbng my back.

 

Then I'm traveling for biz this week and we talked last night for an hour on phone. Longest ever. She also joked about some of the arguments we had last weekend. We haven't talked today.

 

So while I'm excited I'm also wary. I wasn't going to bring up exclusivity or try to label the relationship as that seems needy. Friends feel she got a taste of life without me and realized how much I do mean to her.

 

On flip side as a negative thought. Is this an extreme friend zone. It didn't feel like friends but is she so relaxed now because this relationship pressure is gone?

 

 

It sounds like it's progressing well. Banish your negative thoughts.

So tell me what makes you think that you're not in a relationship with her already? It kinda sounds like you are. Are you not seeing each other enough? Maybe you need to have the exclusive talk with her. 4 months of dating is not too soon for that. (it's rather late, if you ask me)

[biker23]

It sounds like it's progressing well. Banish your negative thoughts.

So tell me what makes you think that you're not in a relationship with her already? It kinda sounds like you are. Are you not seeing each other enough? Maybe you need to have the exclusive talk with her. 4 months of dating is not too soon for that. (it's rather late, if you ask me)

 

Well. Let's summarize. It's been 5 months. Since we went on a week vacation to San Fran and Napa the end of November we've been exclusive but never had the talk honestly. Had great dates and challenging ones. The challenging ones are when she's claiming I'm not giving her the emotional connection she needs. These became more frequent and honestly exhausting peaking 10 days ago with her basically berating me as a vague person she cannot connect with and she needs companionship and wants to date others and maybe we are just great friends. I will also state our sex life is not what I'd expect at 5 months. The quality is outstanding. The quantity is lacking and at times can be held against me at the end of a date due to an argument over my lack of emotional connection.

 

So I change my approach and pull way back on communication as I state in my last message. Related or not she seems to have changed course drastically.

 

So on exclusivity we had it but didn't talk on it. She mentioned dating others last week. Thought that I had. And here we are.

 

I also notice I could talk and or text more often than she is either used to or wants to. She's told me she is different where she gets immersed in projects. Meditation. Research (she runs her own company). Etc and checks out. I've just learned to accept it and pulled back myself. Like today. After talking an hour last night I didn't text her all day. Tried to call in evening and got voicemail. Didn't text and figured she'd call or text back if she wanted to. Haven't heard from her. And I'm ok with that.

[Popsicle]

I see. I can see why you are confused. I would love to hear your conversations, word for word, when she feels that you are vague or she can't connect with you.

[biker23]

I see. I can see why you are confused. I would love to hear your conversations, word for word, when she feels that you are vague or she can't connect with you.

 

I've considered it a lot as you can imagine. I believe it's more of a personality difference. She is an artist and a feeler. I am an engineer and analytical.

So for example she asked why I liked a certain neighborhood of our city where we often go for dates. It was out of the blue question and I have to ponder that and am not the best at off the cuff eloquency. I want what I say to be meaningful. So I try to wing it and say something which she thinks is vague. After more thought I'd say I love the area because I discovered it with her and it reminds me of our first dates (I continued but you get the point). However my first answer was vague and she got frustrated and gave me an example. She it reminded her of when she used to live there and she would walk the area, feel the sun on her face and the breeze in her hair with all the people rushing around. She'd envision this and decide what to wear that night with me. Well crap I'm never going to say that.

Also she prefers diacussions and debates from the heart and to challenge her mind. Which is fine. But to the point of avoiding superficial discussions. But you can't have deep conversations all the time.

We seem to have passed this as our conversations are a big mix now and I feel much more comfortable where I'm not always thinking about what to say next.

 

Also we seemed to always have these big planned dates. Sorta like the Bachelor one on one dates. Without the casual walks in park or watch movie on the sofa to just relax with each other. Not real enough. And her lack of texting or talking in between dates, hard to build that connection. So this past weekend was big for that. Everything was easy. No anxiety.

[Popsicle]

I've considered it a lot as you can imagine. I believe it's more of a personality difference. She is an artist and a feeler. I am an engineer and analytical.

So for example she asked why I liked a certain neighborhood of our city where we often go for dates. It was out of the blue question and I have to ponder that and am not the best at off the cuff eloquency. I want what I say to be meaningful. So I try to wing it and say something which she thinks is vague. After more thought I'd say I love the area because I discovered it with her and it reminds me of our first dates (I continued but you get the point). However my first answer was vague and she got frustrated and gave me an example. She it reminded her of when she used to live there and she would walk the area, feel the sun on her face and the breeze in her hair with all the people rushing around. She'd envision this and decide what to wear that night with me. Well crap I'm never going to say that.

Also she prefers diacussions and debates from the heart and to challenge her mind. Which is fine. But to the point of avoiding superficial discussions. But you can't have deep conversations all the time.

We seem to have passed this as our conversations are a big mix now and I feel much more comfortable where I'm not always thinking about what to say next.

 

Also we seemed to always have these big planned dates. Sorta like the Bachelor one on one dates. Without the casual walks in park or watch movie on the sofa to just relax with each other. Not real enough. And her lack of texting or talking in between dates, hard to build that connection. So this past weekend was big for that. Everything was easy. No anxiety.

 

Yeah this is hard. It's like you don't want to date a person with your same personality, and neither does she, because that would be way too much, but when you try to connect with someone who is the opposite of you, it's just so hard.

[GunslingerRoland]

It doesn't sound very fun dating her to be honest. I hate to stereotype her, but she sounds like such a typical artist type where everything has to have some incredible level of depth to it, and can't just be what it is. Every date has to be a special event, every thing you do has to has some tie back to your past. It sounds exhausting trying to keep up with her expectations of always being that deep.

 

As for your past, I would probably try to leave your marriage in the past as much as possible, but instead when she wants you to open up on your history focus on yourself outside of the marriage. Open up more about your childhood, your college years, yourself with your friends. I know it'll take some work as a more logical person, but you guys will have to meet in the middle at some point.

[introverted1]

On flip side as a negative thought. Is this an extreme friend zone. It didn't feel like friends but is she so relaxed now because this relationship pressure is gone?

 

It's just more crazy-making, Biker. She thought you were on a date with someone else, so her interest was re-ignited. As long as you were "all hers" it wasn't exciting enough. Once she thought she might lose you, she put out new effort. She'll likely continue to do so until you are hers again, and then she'll go back to being restless.

 

Is this what you want -- a relationship where there ALWAYS has to be an element of drama in order for her to fully participate?

[Versacehottie]

It's just more crazy-making, Biker. She thought you were on a date with someone else, so her interest was re-ignited. As long as you were "all hers" it wasn't exciting enough. Once she thought she might lose you, she put out new effort. She'll likely continue to do so until you are hers again, and then she'll go back to being restless.

 

Is this what you want -- a relationship where there ALWAYS has to be an element of drama in order for her to fully participate?

 

This^^^ is on point. Biker, you need to make the connection that it's 99% the reason that she felt you pulling away and thought you were on a date with someone else & kinda left planning the bday weekend to her (i.e. did not force the issue). THAT is why she's back all over it. I don't want to be negative about it. But one good weekend in current status does not a solid relationship make. Wait to gather more evidence of consistency from her. Just keep acting the same and see if she can be the same. I think she LIVES for the drama and you gave her some. You might be able to keep that dynamic up by not being so available and accessible to her--but that might not be fun or fulfilling for you. You seem solid, reliable in a good bf way (that she doesn't seem to appreciate) so it might feel false pulling away to keep her interested. Anyway, WAIT & look for consistent behavior from her. Please.

 

At 5 months in, with what for all intents seems like a relationship, that is probably as close to exclusive as it will get, I would LEAVE that discussion alone. You act like bf/gf so just leave it. I would never usually recommend it bc I usually think it's better when the guy brings it up BUT based on your history with her, her reluctance and wishy-washy-ness and need for drama, just let her bring it up to you when she is ready. Believe me if you let off the gas on that subject, I'm sure she will be all over it within the month. Don't bring it up. Basically if she is dating other guys with the way you have been dating each other, to me, it's cheating and I think you should think of it that way. So no need to define, just watch her actions. F*ck she is like a child! I'm assuming this is some woman who is well past 30 and shouldn't be acting like this. LOOK FOR CONSISTENCY!! Sorry, I said it 3 times.

[biker23]

An update. And I'm glad I waited.

 

We talked a lot this week and Weds it felt like a break through where I knew something was wrong and called her. She had some bad things happening in her life and didn't feel comfortable sharing with me. We talked it through as I said this is exactly what we needed to move forward. She shared and we talked about it multiple times that day and she texted me in between. So I got back from my biz trip and invited her to dinner. Oddly I was nervous and she seemed a bit nervous also. Long story short we had a discussion at the end of dinner that she sees our artist vs analytical engineer too different. She still feels she has to change how she speaks for me and I do the same. Loves our friendship and has tried to see if it expands beyond but wanted to be forthcoming.

 

We talked on it and she was quite defensive at times. Then we left restaurant and had more wine at her house. Oddly she was quite touchy and some kissing but we had another disagreement. It went back to October when she saw a picture of me and my Ex on FB where I looked like her husband and father to her kids to her. We were not exclusive but I was trying to date her. I said nothing happened etc. Then brought up she was dating a guy I saw and she admitted from online. She said you mean xxx? I said yes and she got pissed and asked me to leave. I couldn't talk to her more on it. She said it was time for me to leave. 1am. And I left.

 

Basically it's over. Was told she feels like great friends. Missing the sexual spark and any other challenge to her thinking or behavior is a red flag for her. Any future fiancé would understand her and not question it.

 

So my intuition was correct that any potential time bomb of questioning her or misstep would sabotage the relationship was true. And I could not avoid them.

 

I'm very sad but on flip side it was exhausting. Her behavior makes it a bit easier. Zero accountability for her actions. I made one 'mistake' and it's over.

 

And this past weekend? It was my birthday and she loves me as a friend. Wanted to make it special.

[Eternal Sunshine]

An update. And I'm glad I waited.

 

We talked a lot this week and Weds it felt like a break through where I knew something was wrong and called her. She had some bad things happening in her life and didn't feel comfortable sharing with me. We talked it through as I said this is exactly what we needed to move forward. She shared and we talked about it multiple times that day and she texted me in between. So I got back from my biz trip and invited her to dinner. Oddly I was nervous and she seemed a bit nervous also. Long story short we had a discussion at the end of dinner that she sees our artist vs analytical engineer too different. She still feels she has to change how she speaks for me and I do the same. Loves our friendship and has tried to see if it expands beyond but wanted to be forthcoming.

 

We talked on it and she was quite defensive at times. Then we left restaurant and had more wine at her house. Oddly she was quite touchy and some kissing but we had another disagreement. It went back to October when she saw a picture of me and my Ex on FB where I looked like her husband and father to her kids to her. We were not exclusive but I was trying to date her. I said nothing happened etc. Then brought up she was dating a guy I saw and she admitted from online. She said you mean xxx? I said yes and she got pissed and asked me to leave. I couldn't talk to her more on it. She said it was time for me to leave. 1am. And I left.

 

Basically it's over. Was told she feels like great friends. Missing the sexual spark and any other challenge to her thinking or behavior is a red flag for her. Any future fiancé would understand her and not question it.

 

So my intuition was correct that any potential time bomb of questioning her or misstep would sabotage the relationship was true. And I could not avoid them.

 

I'm very sad but on flip side it was exhausting. Her behavior makes it a bit easier. Zero accountability for her actions. I made one 'mistake' and it's over.

 

And this past weekend? It was my birthday and she loves me as a friend. Wanted to make it special.

 

When something like this ends, it feels like a burden has been lifted mixed in with some sadness of course. Focus on the relief of the burden part and you will be fine

[Gaeta]

An update. And I'm glad I waited.

 

We talked a lot this week and Weds it felt like a break through where I knew something was wrong and called her. She had some bad things happening in her life and didn't feel comfortable sharing with me. We talked it through as I said this is exactly what we needed to move forward. She shared and we talked about it multiple times that day and she texted me in between. So I got back from my biz trip and invited her to dinner. Oddly I was nervous and she seemed a bit nervous also. Long story short we had a discussion at the end of dinner that she sees our artist vs analytical engineer too different. She still feels she has to change how she speaks for me and I do the same. Loves our friendship and has tried to see if it expands beyond but wanted to be forthcoming.

 

We talked on it and she was quite defensive at times. Then we left restaurant and had more wine at her house. Oddly she was quite touchy and some kissing but we had another disagreement. It went back to October when she saw a picture of me and my Ex on FB where I looked like her husband and father to her kids to her. We were not exclusive but I was trying to date her. I said nothing happened etc. Then brought up she was dating a guy I saw and she admitted from online. She said you mean xxx? I said yes and she got pissed and asked me to leave. I couldn't talk to her more on it. She said it was time for me to leave. 1am. And I left.

 

Basically it's over. Was told she feels like great friends. Missing the sexual spark and any other challenge to her thinking or behavior is a red flag for her. Any future fiancé would understand her and not question it.

 

So my intuition was correct that any potential time bomb of questioning her or misstep would sabotage the relationship was true. And I could not avoid them.

 

I'm very sad but on flip side it was exhausting. Her behavior makes it a bit easier. Zero accountability for her actions. I made one 'mistake' and it's over.

 

And this past weekend? It was my birthday and she loves me as a friend. Wanted to make it special.

 

FINALLY she came clean with you. It was crystal clear to us but you had to be told by her for it to sink in.

 

Please re-read your thread and recognize all the red flags you were so set on ignoring along the way and next time don't sweep them under the rug just cause she's hot.

 

I am sorry for your disappointment and I am looking forward to read a happier story next time.

[biker23]

FINALLY she came clean with you. It was crystal clear to us but you had to be told by her for it to sink in.

 

Please re-read your thread and recognize all the red flags you were so set on ignoring along the way and next time don't sweep them under the rug just cause she's hot.

 

I am sorry for your disappointment and I am looking forward to read a happier story next time.

 

Yes she did mention that this couldnt be a surprise to me.

 

What was still strange and unfair was after dinner she wanted to go back to my place and have some wine...talk to my son...then said lets go back to her place because he son was not home. She appeared to be getting more intimate with me and we even talked about a future vacation and I said I dont go on vacations with 'friends'. She said she doesnt either and when do I want to go? She even pulled up costco travel and tried to look at flights.....

Or she would be willing to be a girlfriend if I paid for another nice trip...to be negative...

 

If we had not had the disagreement, I'm not sure where the evening was headed. She was constantly complementary of me all night...my physical appearance. Saying do I realize how good I look....over and over. Unless thats her way of making me feel better but to even hint of a chance beyond friends I found confusing and thinking back on it, unfair.

 

I plan on a text today stating something about how I am disappointed in how last night ended but value our relationship greatly. If we never speak again I do not want it to end with me kicked out of her house...that would be very unfortunate. Beyond that I am done...she can reach out to me if she feels any differently I guess.

Edited January 27, 2017 by biker23

[anika99]

You keep describing your conversations with her and telling us what she said and did as though she is a sane rational person. She is not. She's a personality disordered woman with a drinking problem. Her perception of herself is skewed beyond belief.

 

Thank goodness she finally ended it because it doesn't look like you were ever going to no matter how shi&&y she treated you. Here's hoping she stays gone because I have a feeling that if she so much as crooks her finger at you, you will go running.

 

Just as an aside, the reason she feels that she can't establish a deep emotional connection and that she feels you or other men are fake, is because she is shallow and fake. Somewhere deep inside of herself, maybe even hidden from her conscious mind, she knows she's a big phoney but she can't accept that of herself so she projects the worst parts of herself onto others. That will never change. Let's just hope she leaves you alone now.

[Versacehottie]

Yes she did mention that this couldnt be a surprise to me.

 

What was still strange and unfair was after dinner she wanted to go back to my place and have some wine...talk to my son...then said lets go back to her place because he son was not home. She appeared to be getting more intimate with me and we even talked about a future vacation and I said I dont go on vacations with 'friends'. She said she doesnt either and when do I want to go? She even pulled up costco travel and tried to look at flights.....

Or she would be willing to be a girlfriend if I paid for another nice trip...to be negative...

 

If we had not had the disagreement, I'm not sure where the evening was headed. She was constantly complementary of me all night...my physical appearance. Saying do I realize how good I look....over and over. Unless thats her way of making me feel better but to even hint of a chance beyond friends I found confusing and thinking back on it, unfair.

 

I plan on a text today stating something about how I am disappointed in how last night ended but value our relationship greatly. If we never speak again I do not want it to end with me kicked out of her house...that would be very unfortunate. Beyond that I am done...she can reach out to me if she feels any differently I guess.

 

Honestly? I think if you send a text today, you are just hoping to re-open things with her. In a way, you have kinda fallen into her patterns of back&forth and some drama yourself. (And i think you inherently know it's the one thing that works on her).

 

Ends are ends. They don't need to be tied up with a pretty bow. I wouldn't grovel for her friendship. It's conditional and on her terms only. There is no need for a "nice" ending to this. Actually considering the way things could have gone, this is probably as nice an ending as you might have got.

 

I'm sorry that things didn't work out the way you hoped but remember you had lots of doubts yourself. Just because she pulled the plug first you shouldn't let it hurt your ego. If you can wrap your head around the real facts that have gone on with this, you will consider yourself lucky to be rid of her in no time. That's hard to do though because emotion will be involved but try. Good luck

[Gaeta]

I plan on a text today stating something about how I am disappointed in how last night ended but value our relationship greatly. If we never speak again I do not want it to end with me kicked out of her house...that would be very unfortunate. Beyond that I am done...she can reach out to me if she feels any differently I guess.

 

I agree with V that this is just an attempt to revive things with her or to verify with her, one more time, she is done done. The proof is in your last sentence if she feels any differently that is you still harboring hope she is not done completely.

 

Make a total break and move on.

[biker23]

well, I didnt text but she texted me an apology.

[elaine567]

The right time to leave was when she said you were boring, and that she couldn't really talk to you and she was used to more passionate men.

YOU took that to mean you had to change yourself to suit, but she gave you a big hint there that things were NOT good for her.

Then she followed it up with saying she thought you made good friends but not lovers.

Then she expressed a wish to date other men and that you should just be friends.

Yet, you stuck on in there like glue, still hoping for more, until she had to literally throw you out.

 

I know you fell hard and the sex was great and you didn't want to dump her, BUT you need to start really listening to what women tell you and not project your own feelings onto them.

 

Do NOT text her.

[elaine567]

Being friends with exes can only work if there is no residual romantic feeling left on either side.

Otherwise one genuinely just wants just to be friends and the other is always hankering for more. That can be a bit of an ego boost for a while but it can also get pretty annoying.

The besotted one gets more and more upset and frustrated and it all usually ends in tears.

 

YOU led me on.

NO I was just being your friend.

B-b-b-but I thought we could get back together.

Er...no... We are never getting back together again.

Oh!

[bachdude]

What was still strange and unfair was after dinner she wanted to go back to my place and have some wine...talk to my son...then said lets go back to her place because he son was not home. She appeared to be getting more intimate with me and we even talked about a future vacation and I said I dont go on vacations with 'friends'. She said she doesnt either and when do I want to go? She even pulled up costco travel and tried to look at flights.....

 

 

This is truly insane behavior OP.

 

 

You're starting to get addicted to the drama too.

 

 

If you hang around crazy people enough you start to get crazy too.

[Versacehottie]

well, I didnt text but she texted me an apology.

 

oh gosh, I was going to say in my post that would likely happen but both didn't want to get your hopes up or play a part in keeping it going. You see, since you haven't given her as much drama and intensity as she needs she is creating the rollercoaster within herself. YOU SHOULD ABSOLUTELY LOOK AT HER APOLOGY AS THE NICE ENDING YOU WANTED AND LEAVE THINGS THERE. THE END>

[MissG]

She wants you to chase her. She invited you over that night because she was NOT done. It's just that she drank too much during the course of the night, and then you got into a discussion and then she broke up, but she didn't want to break up - that's why she looked at vacation websites on the computer. She wants the drama. She needs it. She needs a few drinks to feel better and then the drama can start and then she feels alive........ The statement that you must've known that you're just only friends and nothing more was something she said in order to get a reaction out of you and that desired reactions was your desperation and your countless expressions of devastation and sadness and despair and how you admire her. She did NOT want to break up. She likes the lifestyle too much.

[biker23]

Being friends with exes can only work if there is no residual romantic feeling left on either side.

Otherwise one genuinely just wants just to be friends and the other is always hankering for more. That can be a bit of an ego boost for a while but it can also get pretty annoying.

The besotted one gets more and more upset and frustrated and it all usually ends in tears.

 

YOU led me on.

NO I was just being your friend.

B-b-b-but I thought we could get back together.

Er...no... We are never getting back together again.

Oh!

 

Agreed. Actually this woman and I had this discussion early in our relationship because she wanted to be sure I wasnt friends with exes...

 

This is truly insane behavior OP.

 

 

You're starting to get addicted to the drama too.

 

 

If you hang around crazy people enough you start to get crazy too.

 

I cannot deny

 

oh gosh, I was going to say in my post that would likely happen but both didn't want to get your hopes up or play a part in keeping it going. You see, since you haven't given her as much drama and intensity as she needs she is creating the rollercoaster within herself. YOU SHOULD ABSOLUTELY LOOK AT HER APOLOGY AS THE NICE ENDING YOU WANTED AND LEAVE THINGS THERE. THE END>

 

Agreed. I replied briefly that I was surprised and disappointed. But I'm not going to text her anymore.

 

I dont see how she will want us to be friends now...with the entire discussion of no friends with exes .. because yes I will always wonder if shes teetering back to being interested. How can I not when she says all the right things most of the time.

 

Honestly its sad...I get close to people and dont like pushing them out of my life forever...a bit of a grieving period. For example I'm going to reach out as friends to some of my previous exes that I was friends with but shut it off while dating this woman.

[biker23]

She wants you to chase her. She invited you over that night because she was NOT done. It's just that she drank too much during the course of the night, and then you got into a discussion and then she broke up, but she didn't want to break up - that's why she looked at vacation websites on the computer. She wants the drama. She needs it. She needs a few drinks to feel better and then the drama can start and then she feels alive........ The statement that you must've known that you're just only friends and nothing more was something she said in order to get a reaction out of you and that desired reactions was your desperation and your countless expressions of devastation and sadness and despair and how you admire her. She did NOT want to break up. She likes the lifestyle too much.

 

I just saw this post for some reason. It makes me wonder with her actions after the friends discussion. Weeping on the way home saying she doesn't think I realize how much she cares for me. Then the vacation incident. But it doesn't jive with keeping me at arms length except she lives the lifestyle without giving fully into a relationship. Another comment was asking if I thought we would get married. I said it crossed my mind. She said a fiancé would know better than to make some comments I did a couple weeks back. Which was constructive criticism that she couldn't handle.

 

I never posted this. Her apology text

'Hey, sorry I brought up a past issue last night. the topic was totally irrelevant. I shouldn't have and it doesn't matter. I'm easily irritated lately with everything going on but I don't mean to be cross with you.'

 

My response an hour later

'Hi. Thank you. I was certainly confused and disappointed. Thought the evening had transitioned into a nice time. We will have to chat on everything. '

 

That was Friday noon. It's now Sunday night. Neither have texted or called each other. My plan is to not text her. It's very difficult given how much time we spent together the past 5 months.

 

I'll update if she reaches out at all. I really have no idea if she will. I was surprised at the apology.

Edited January 30, 2017 by biker23

[Versacehottie]

I just saw this post for some reason. It makes me wonder with her actions after the friends discussion. Weeping on the way home saying she doesn't think I realize how much she cares for me. Then the vacation incident. But it doesn't jive with keeping me at arms length except she lives the lifestyle without giving fully into a relationship. Another comment was asking if I thought we would get married. I said it crossed my mind. She said a fiancé would know better than to make some comments I did a couple weeks back. Which was constructive criticism that she couldn't handle.

 

I never posted this. Her apology text

'Hey, sorry I brought up a past issue last night. the topic was totally irrelevant. I shouldn't have and it doesn't matter. I'm easily irritated lately with everything going on but I don't mean to be cross with you.'

 

My response an hour later

'Hi. Thank you. I was certainly confused and disappointed. Thought the evening had transitioned into a nice time. We will have to chat on everything. '

 

That was Friday noon. It's now Sunday night. Neither have texted or called each other. My plan is to not text her. It's very difficult given how much time we spent together the past 5 months.

 

I'll update if she reaches out at all. I really have no idea if she will. I was surprised at the apology.

 

Well I think you should read deeper. Her comment bolded is the "bait". Your comment bolded is the "open door". She got what she wanted for the moment. I doubt it will be the last you hear from her. Boy, she is dramatic. I really hope you just shut it down and don't talk to her. There is nothing to talk about--i promise you I'm trying to save you time. There is better out there for you.

[Pill]

You probably have the least self respect of any man I've witnessed on LS so far. I think you've been trying to convince yourself that there is something there when it clearly isn't. Your entire emphasis on how "great" the relationship is and how much fun you two supposedly have together says it all to me. It's like you're trying to convince yourself, trying to give yourself justification for holding on because there is "something" there. I'm not buying it.

 

This woman is a serial emotional abuser. You notice how players always have "chemistry" with the women they pump and dump? People want to think it's something innate between two special people but really it's just a game of seduction. Knowing what to say, how to say it. She's an expert, which is why she has so many proposals, etc.

 

You didn't have anything special, she just had the game to use a simp for entertainment for a few months, and some a vacation. That's the harsh reality. Put all this energy into something productive for you in the long run.

Edited January 31, 2017 by Pill