Amazing GF says I don't share deep feelings or past

[introverted1]

OP, it's not your fault at all. She's an emotional empty person who is looking for a man to fill the void and she will never be happy, EVER.

 

This. So much this.

 

This woman is seriously flawed/incomplete and there is nothing you can do to fix it.

 

She's already suggested that she may want to see other people, presumably as a way to get the "high" that comes with a new relationship.

 

OP, what would you tell a friend who had posted all the things you have here? What in fact do your friends tell you?

[biker23]

Thanks everyone. What you say makes sense. But can I do what I need to do. Unclear.

Why has she stayed this long? Why does she still want to be friends or connected at all when she's never done that before. She always moves on. Sure she loves the fun dates but it has to be exhausting to get upset every other date. Why keep trying.

There are more parallels from what you stated. I decided to give her some constructive criticism on how she is perceived. Granted this was after we had these disagreements so she was 'hot' already. Annoyed I mean. But she can come across so confident and intimidating when speaking that it could keep others from voicing their own opinions. I mentioned I got this feedback as an executive and I have worked at being inclusive. Granted this is in a corporate environment. She got angry. Said she should soften her approach so that weaker people could voice their opinion?? Said she only wants to deal with strong people that can voice their opinion regardless. Literally got mad.

I think anything could piss her off at that time.

 

Then yesterday we chat on a great message at our local church. Ironically titled What do you really want?'we laughed on that. But shared thoughts.

 

I'm traveling all week again and she asked when do I get home. Which she asked last week. Of course now I'm thinking she asking to know when she can go out with someone else. When it could not be that at all.

[Gaeta]

She got angry. Said she should soften her approach so that weaker people could voice their opinion?? Said she only wants to deal with strong people that can voice their opinion regardless. Literally got mad.

I think anything could piss her off at that time.

 

That's what I call being full of herself.

 

She must be darn hot for you to put up with that egocentricity.

[Gaeta]

Why has she stayed this long? Why does she still want to be friends or connected at all when she's never done that before.

 

Who cares, let her shrink figure it out.

 

My guess is she is just bored at the time with no other options to keep her entertained.

[introverted1]

Thanks everyone. What you say makes sense. But can I do what I need to do. Unclear.

Why has she stayed this long? Why does she still want to be friends or connected at all when she's never done that before.

 

Why has she stayed this long? - It's been about 4 months if my math is right. The first 3 are usually the intense honeymoon stage, where passion is really ramped up. So even given that the relationship (such as it is) has been difficult all along, this is about when she'd need the new high.'

 

Why does she still want to be friends or connected at all when she's never done that before - Who knows if this is even what she wants. It's a buffering statement - sounds better than saying she is ready to move on to the next guy. Instead, she positions it that you'd be better off being friends. I somehow doubt it would actually come to fruition, unless her need for that "passion high" has morphed into the push-pull of being your friend until you date someone else, at which point she'll want you back.

 

Too much anxiety here. Relationships should be peaceful. That doesn't mean there shouldn't be passion, but overall, they should bring peace, not angst.

[bachdude]

Said she should soften her approach so that weaker people could voice their opinion?? Said she only wants to deal with strong people that can voice their opinion regardless.

 

 

So she wants this in a man but also a guy who is uber in touch with his feelings and can be vulnerable and all that.

 

 

So basically she wants a "sensitive alpha male"!

 

 

Wow, that's a tough order to fill!

 

 

I'd wish her the best on her search and part ways!

[Empyrea]

Thanks everyone. What you say makes sense. But can I do what I need to do. Unclear.

Why has she stayed this long? Why does she still want to be friends or connected at all when she's never done that before. She always moves on.

 

I agree with "who cares?", but just to entertain you..

 

Sure she loves the fun dates but it has to be exhausting to get upset every other date. Why keep trying.

 

Well, she loves the fun dates! Until she has a better option lined up, you will have to do. And, surprise-surprise, she also loves the drama of "getting upset every other date" - it's not exhausting, it's keeping her entertained. She's clearly enjoying the drama of it. And if she's like you're describing her, then actually you trying to bend over backwards to meet her needs is also probably putting her off. Didn't she say she liked strong people? You're not it (by her definition). She will continue to find fault with you, get annoyed and frustrated over little things you do, because she's already not infatuated with you any more, and yet she will continue to give you just enough crumbs to keep you around (until she finds someone better). Seen it a million times. It's a ticking time bomb. And when you do eventually decide you've had enough and call it quits, she will want to be friends and keep sending you mixed messages, because narcissistic girls like to have friendzoned puppies running after them.

[biker23]

This. So much this.

 

This woman is seriously flawed/incomplete and there is nothing you can do to fix it.

 

She's already suggested that she may want to see other people, presumably as a way to get the "high" that comes with a new relationship.

 

OP, what would you tell a friend who had posted all the things you have here? What in fact do your friends tell you?

 

My guy friends suggest mixing it up with more real everyday dates. And be myself. Stop trying to be something I'm not.

 

Just spoke with a great girlfriend who knows me well. She was pissed. Said I'm the most loving caring person who is the opposite of fake. Maybe reserved and analytical but not fake. The fact she doesn't see that is a crime. It's her definition and not who I am. It's her past of fake guys. She said someone that can spout all the emotional comments she wants is actually the fake one.

Told me to give her what she wants. And back off. If she pursues then have a frank discussion on who I am which doesn't fit her mold. But no sense having it now as she has currently made up her mind.

She also suggested the Meyer Briggs test and compare each other and talk about the results as a way to figure each other out.

[Gaeta]

My guy friends suggest mixing it up with more real everyday dates. And be myself. Stop trying to be something I'm not.

 

Just spoke with a great girlfriend who knows me well. She was pissed. Said I'm the most loving caring person who is the opposite of fake. Maybe reserved and analytical but not fake. The fact she doesn't see that is a crime. It's her definition and not who I am. It's her past of fake guys. She said someone that can spout all the emotional comments she wants is actually the fake one.

Told me to give her what she wants. And back off. If she pursues then have a frank discussion on who I am which doesn't fit her mold. But no sense having it now as she has currently made up her mind.

She also suggested the Meyer Briggs test and compare each other and talk about the results as a way to figure each other out.

 

 

It's like you want to shove down this woman's throat that you are a good guy and worth dating. Why? Move on!! find someone real, genuine, someone oriented outward, giving, generous, excited about getting to know you.

 

Your title reads you have been dating an amazing woman. What is so amazing about her??? She is self-centered, shallow, demeaning, immature!

[Versacehottie]

My guy friends suggest mixing it up with more real everyday dates. And be myself. Stop trying to be something I'm not.

 

Just spoke with a great girlfriend who knows me well. She was pissed. Said I'm the most loving caring person who is the opposite of fake. Maybe reserved and analytical but not fake. The fact she doesn't see that is a crime. It's her definition and not who I am. It's her past of fake guys. She said someone that can spout all the emotional comments she wants is actually the fake one.

Told me to give her what she wants. And back off. If she pursues then have a frank discussion on who I am which doesn't fit her mold. But no sense having it now as she has currently made up her mind.

She also suggested the Meyer Briggs test and compare each other and talk about the results as a way to figure each other out.

 

Yes^^^^ your guy friends are right. If what you are is not enough or not "right" for her, let HER go--don't keep letting her browbeat you into being something you are not. Seriously, f*ck her past. That makes her the damaged one, not you. Why are you trying to figure it out? It's a turn off at this point. She definitely needs a "false" sense of something with the guys she dates--that should concern you. OMG, your not really going to take the test so she can further analyze you and tell you all sorts of things are wrong with you. This is just too much work. It really shouldn't be this hard.

 

ps. don't take it as a compliment that she wants to keep you as a friend. It is not a compliment nor does it mean you two have something special. She is basically giving you the notes on the relationships with the other guys--they wouldn't put up with her sh*t therefore there was no friendship to salvage. You are putting up with her sh*t therefore she plans are continuing to jerk you around and call you back in for ego boosts as needed. She can contemplate remaining friends with you bc you are basically nice and not real EXCITING drama, not romantic drama she needs thus again it is not a complement coming from her. You are steady, measured, loyal, etc--and she doesn't appreciate a bit of it. She really is full of herself. I don't even imagine hot---I imagine something else because I've seen relationships like this out and about and been really unimpressed with the looks of the women that behave like this. Full of yourself is first criteria and then the rest of this junk seems to fall in place just like it has. Get out, your friends are right & like your girl friend, I'm pissed too. You seem really cool and nice--you don't deserve this.

[Versacehottie]

Thanks everyone. What you say makes sense. But can I do what I need to do. Unclear.

Why has she stayed this long? Why does she still want to be friends or connected at all when she's never done that before. She always moves on. Sure she loves the fun dates but it has to be exhausting to get upset every other date. Why keep trying.

There are more parallels from what you stated. I decided to give her some constructive criticism on how she is perceived. Granted this was after we had these disagreements so she was 'hot' already. Annoyed I mean. But she can come across so confident and intimidating when speaking that it could keep others from voicing their own opinions. I mentioned I got this feedback as an executive and I have worked at being inclusive. Granted this is in a corporate environment. She got angry. Said she should soften her approach so that weaker people could voice their opinion?? Said she only wants to deal with strong people that can voice their opinion regardless. Literally got mad.

I think anything could piss her off at that time.

 

Then yesterday we chat on a great message at our local church. Ironically titled What do you really want?'we laughed on that. But shared thoughts.

 

I'm traveling all week again and she asked when do I get home. Which she asked last week. Of course now I'm thinking she asking to know when she can go out with someone else. When it could not be that at all.

 

she has stayed "so" long because you are indulging her whims of trying to change yourself. The other guys probably did not put up with it. I forgot how long it's been but think it's been 3-6 months, leaning toward 3 which is not long at all for you to be putting up with these shenanigans. Basically not much is invested & you two are just discovering you are not really a match. I'm surprised that it has not occurred to you that she must be somewhat desperate and NOT so desirable to keep trying to "fix" and change a guy who doesn't meet her criteria. If she had other viable options, she would just move on. Newsflash: she doesn't. She's got you drinking the koolaid where you believe she is desirable to other guys when the factual evidence listed in this thread should tell you she doesn't. Don't think you have anything solid to worry about while you are gone. That said, she has sh*tty judgement and sounds impulsive so if a real option arises, than i wouldn't put it past her to jump on it.

 

Also maybe you are failing to pick up on the very real fact that she wants to be pissed off and confrontation 24/7? There are people like that you know? Yes even in a relationship. Surprising I know. I'm going to be honest--reading between the lines above, I think you think it's somewhat of a good/hot thing that she is a little spitfire. Granted your actual relationship is new, I honestly think it would really grate on you after a while. You are already struggling to get her back into a zone where you two can just have a nice time.

 

There is a phenomena where maybe if you will understand it you might be able to break up with her. Basically when someone makes you feel like you are not good enough to date them or something is deficient about you and there is still contact, your human mind will want to prove that you are good enough and it will go to great lengths and this becomes the real "love" or "attraction" that is going on. The reality is actually undesirable (which is what is going on in your situation), yet your brain and ego will still try to right the wrong when you are still in contact in the offending relationship. If you can accept there is nothing to "prove" and come to terms with that you should be able to see this for what it is.

[biker23]

she has stayed "so" long because you are indulging her whims of trying to change yourself. The other guys probably did not put up with it. I forgot how long it's been but think it's been 3-6 months, leaning toward 3 which is not long at all for you to be putting up with these shenanigans. Basically not much is invested & you two are just discovering you are not really a match. I'm surprised that it has not occurred to you that she must be somewhat desperate and NOT so desirable to keep trying to "fix" and change a guy who doesn't meet her criteria. If she had other viable options, she would just move on. Newsflash: she doesn't. She's got you drinking the koolaid where you believe she is desirable to other guys when the factual evidence listed in this thread should tell you she doesn't. Don't think you have anything solid to worry about while you are gone. That said, she has sh*tty judgement and sounds impulsive so if a real option arises, than i wouldn't put it past her to jump on it.

 

Also maybe you are failing to pick up on the very real fact that she wants to be pissed off and confrontation 24/7? There are people like that you know? Yes even in a relationship. Surprising I know. I'm going to be honest--reading between the lines above, I think you think it's somewhat of a good/hot thing that she is a little spitfire. Granted your actual relationship is new, I honestly think it would really grate on you after a while. You are already struggling to get her back into a zone where you two can just have a nice time.

 

There is a phenomena where maybe if you will understand it you might be able to break up with her. Basically when someone makes you feel like you are not good enough to date them or something is deficient about you and there is still contact, your human mind will want to prove that you are good enough and it will go to great lengths and this becomes the real "love" or "attraction" that is going on. The reality is actually undesirable (which is what is going on in your situation), yet your brain and ego will still try to right the wrong when you are still in contact in the offending relationship. If you can accept there is nothing to "prove" and come to terms with that you should be able to see this for what it is.

 

yes yes yes.. btw its been 5 months.

 

moth to a flame. and I love it...usually

 

Im told by many that Im a catch and why do I put up with anything to this extent. this woman has actually stated I am a great catch and maybe I dont know it. dont act like it.. humble? maybe...but its changing.

 

very interesting comments on the fact she doesnt have options. I took it as she has been committed to me and not looking elsewhere...but then again she is the one that reached back out to me this past August after 8 months of no contact. and she is the one that doesnt trust me...keeps mentioning a few of my exs and not believing that Im not talking to them.

 

my girl friend (not gf...friend who is a girl) warned me...dont listen to the dance lessons or get together on my bday...listen to the rest...dont trust...wants to date others...sees me as a friend. dont focus on the 'good' because thats what I want to hear.

 

and thank you for the compliment on sounding nice and cool. I take pride in treating people with respect and helping others...potentially to a fault. white knight at times.

Edited January 16, 2017 by biker23

[mightycpa]

I'm in a great relationship of 3 months. We just got back from a week vacation which was amazing and certainly a good test of compatibility to live together 24/7.

 

We are both around 40. I'm 2 years out of a long marriage and she was married briefly when young but engaged 3 times since but not married again. Multiple passionate long term relationships. While I've had my marriage which was failing for years so no passion. I mention this for background.

 

One thing I love about her is she is of very high character and challenges me. But that challenge is also a challenge. Let me explain. She feels I talk about and share topics that are very on the surface. Hobbies. Food. Wine. Travel. We have had many awkward moments when she will ask 'what do I want' (I'm a logical engineer so I struggle with that. Does she mean in a mate or career or life or ? ) so when i struggle to answer she says it seems like I am just goIng through life day by day. Not true as I'm a successful businessman that runs a company. And I know what I want in a woman but apparently I suck at vocalizing it. She says it's hard for her when she asks me these tough questions and I struggle to answer. Like I'm hiding or refusing to open up to her. Which is frustrating to me. I think maybe I'm trying to say the perfect thing or overthinking or maybe even worried I'll say the 'wrong' thing. Why is this so hard?

She mentioned last night that she knows very little about my ex or marriage or past. We've talked some on it but I'll answer anything. She just wants deep conversation and not have to ask so many questions. Just talk she says! In my mind I think ok how do I bring up my past casually. Talk about the courtship wth my ex and how the marriage progressed. What I learned. Etc. Doesn't seem like casual things to bring up. Or I'm concerned something from my past will trigger something negative unintentionally or maybe be judged. I'm not sure. Sometimes we will drive with silence. I don't always have to have conversation and we are comfortable in it but I guess that is when I can talk about these topics? She wants to see/hear passion and says I can be boring. Again challenging me as she also said durIng our trip that she hasn't been this happy in years. Very flattering.

It seems she wants and desires the next level and is challenging me to meet her there. I want that badly but I'm frustrated with myself with this communication. I'm an outgoing extrovert person but apparently struggle vocalizing.

 

Advice? She says she is used to guy's that basically state what they want and actually say they want marriage and kids etc. Try to lock her down. I find that unrealistic. It's a playboy who states this in a few months. I want a serious relationship and yes potential marriage but how can I state that I want that now?

 

One more thing. We talked about how morals are important. So she asked me what are morals. Again going deeper. This is over dinner and wine. Casual discussion. :/

Without having the benefit of reading everyone's opinions, I think you're figuring out why she's had multiple, passionate, long term relationships that have failed.

 

And with all due respect, a week long vacation with a passionate woman who you've known for all of three months is no indicator of the day to day prospects of living together.

 

It's hard to tell if she's looking for a "deepest desires" conversation, or if she just wants you to wax philosophical about the meaning of life from your perspective. I know how to talk to women like the one you're describing, but let me tell you what, unless you're really into her, it's excruciating. Those conversations come from the heart, not because you're this way or that. You gotta want them. Apparently, she does and you don't.

 

You strike me as if you're going to be her most recent, passionate, short-term relationship, the guy who didn't know how to open up.

 

Count your blessings! It was fun while it lasted. Can't wait to see what pages 2 - 8 bring!

[biker23]

I'm sure to be skewered for asking this. I'm not looking for just move on and throw her to the curb comments. I'm just not ready for that yet.

 

 

But after the discussion Saturday where I said she had mentioned she wanted to date others but then she said she didn't. She responded she meant it. Plus the friends comment. But then she stated later she wanted to take me out this weekend for my bday and we should take dance lessons. She's been up and down before.

 

This is all based on I'm taking a different approach but not ready to completely move on yet. I'm not certain she wants me gone either. Trying to figure it out.

 

I've traveled all week but we've talked several times with lots of laughter etc and texted some. She initiated some of the texts and I really backed off where we used to have a good Morning and good night texts. She used to initiate that 50/50 but it shifted much more to me. She'd respond quickly but I'd initiate.

 

That said. How do I approach this weekend and moving forward. Do I talk to her today and say hey what are we doing for my bday? I'd like to challenge her given she'd stated it. And she needs to be challenged. Put on the spot.

And I'm one that wants closure. Do I ask straight up if she is dating others? If she is then it opens me up to do the same. I'm wary at this point to date others as we could be in a figure it out stage and that would kill it. But if she's already taken that leap which she could easily have done with me traveling then thats that. I'll have to decide then if I just disappear and focus on other women and everything else of course or act like it was early in the relationship where we aren't exclusive.

 

Thx

[Gaeta]

But after the discussion Saturday where I said she had mentioned she wanted to date others but then she said she didn't. She responded she meant it. Plus the friends comment. But then she stated later she wanted to take me out this weekend for my bday and we should take dance lessons. She's been up and down before.

 

Not sure I follow you here. She meant she wants to see others? or she didn't?

[mightycpa]

Who cares what she wants? Why don't you just straight up ASK HER?

 

I'm confused. Are we dating exclusively or are we seeing other people too?

then shut up, make her answer the question, and go from there.

 

I don't know how you can't know this.

[biker23]

Not sure I follow you here. She meant she wants to see others? or she didn't?

 

When very drunk a few weeks ago during an argument she said maybe she should date others. I actually laughed to myself as it was a trend of drunk comments that were apologized and not reality.

 

I asked the next morning and as I think now she paused and said 'I don't have time for that'. I said that's right you aren't dating others or it's over.

 

So I brought that up again last Sat. She was sober and mad. Said she meant it. But we didn't talk on that again that night

[biker23]

Who cares what she wants? Why don't you just straight up ASK HER?

 

then shut up, make her answer the question, and go from there.

 

I don't know how you can't know this.

 

On phone or try to see her in person

[Gaeta]

When very drunk a few weeks ago during an argument she said maybe she should date others. I actually laughed to myself as it was a trend of drunk comments that were apologized and not reality.

 

I asked the next morning and as I think now she paused and said 'I don't have time for that'. I said that's right you aren't dating others or it's over.

 

So I brought that up again last Sat. She was sober and mad. Said she meant it. But we didn't talk on that again that night

 

Remind me again why you consider her amazing? She's nothing but a huge pain in the arse.

 

She said she meant it so.....go ahead and date others.

[elaine567]

I'm sure to be skewered for asking this. I'm not looking for just move on and throw her to the curb comments. I'm just not ready for that yet.

 

That point is moot as she has already kicked YOU to the curb, it is out of your hands, you do not get to choose here.

She may see you on your b'day, she may go to dancing lessons but she will be dating others and you are now her "friend".

[mightycpa]

On phone or try to see her in person

Given the nature of the question, does it matter? If your followup is going to be that you want to be exclusive, I'd do that in person.

[Versacehottie]

I'm sure to be skewered for asking this. I'm not looking for just move on and throw her to the curb comments. I'm just not ready for that yet.

 

 

But after the discussion Saturday where I said she had mentioned she wanted to date others but then she said she didn't. She responded she meant it. Plus the friends comment. But then she stated later she wanted to take me out this weekend for my bday and we should take dance lessons. She's been up and down before.

 

This is all based on I'm taking a different approach but not ready to completely move on yet. I'm not certain she wants me gone either. Trying to figure it out.

 

I've traveled all week but we've talked several times with lots of laughter etc and texted some. She initiated some of the texts and I really backed off where we used to have a good Morning and good night texts. She used to initiate that 50/50 but it shifted much more to me. She'd respond quickly but I'd initiate.

 

That said. How do I approach this weekend and moving forward. Do I talk to her today and say hey what are we doing for my bday? I'd like to challenge her given she'd stated it. And she needs to be challenged. Put on the spot.

And I'm one that wants closure. Do I ask straight up if she is dating others? If she is then it opens me up to do the same. I'm wary at this point to date others as we could be in a figure it out stage and that would kill it. But if she's already taken that leap which she could easily have done with me traveling then thats that. I'll have to decide then if I just disappear and focus on other women and everything else of course or act like it was early in the relationship where we aren't exclusive.

 

Thx

 

Most importantly and first off--do you want to spend your birthday with her when you guys are in this weird state of limbo with questions hanging over your head about your status as a couple? If I were in your shoes, on this issue alone, I would just postpone seeing her until next week after your birthday had past. The reason I'm saying this is--first of all as at minimum a close friend, she should be following up with you about your birthday--it was her offer and you are the guest this weekend to some sh*t she should be planning. It's the least she can do when you've treated her like a princess and now there is an official reason to reciprocate.

 

Second of all, the overall issue is REALLY hanging over both of your heads. You want an answer and closure and she has a tendency to be callous and cruel to be honest. Doubt she would be able to just table anything until afterward and keep the birthday fun. Also if you have moved into the friend zone with her is this the way/weekend that you want a pity date? No, not good. And is it really how and when you want to find out & clarify yes she doesn't want to date anymore

 

Lastly, for respect & best chance with her going forward considering the possibility you would keep dating, you should leave it. She hasn't contacted you in time & hasn't brought it up. You would look pathetic and have no leverage with her and lose more of her respect if you chase her down to follow through on your birthday plans. It's really insulting and at the very least she should be wondering what you are up to instead. And see that you would rather let this special occasion with you pass by than sign up for drama on your birthday weekend. Level the playing field a bit.

 

How she is and will handle this will help you come to your conclusion. You can pick back up the discussion of "what are we to each other" next week if you want. Kick the can down the road! Old saying that I learned which I love. Happy Birthday!

[biker23]

Most importantly and first off--do you want to spend your birthday with her when you guys are in this weird state of limbo with questions hanging over your head about your status as a couple? If I were in your shoes, on this issue alone, I would just postpone seeing her until next week after your birthday had past. The reason I'm saying this is--first of all as at minimum a close friend, she should be following up with you about your birthday--it was her offer and you are the guest this weekend to some sh*t she should be planning. It's the least she can do when you've treated her like a princess and now there is an official reason to reciprocate.

 

Second of all, the overall issue is REALLY hanging over both of your heads. You want an answer and closure and she has a tendency to be callous and cruel to be honest. Doubt she would be able to just table anything until afterward and keep the birthday fun. Also if you have moved into the friend zone with her is this the way/weekend that you want a pity date? No, not good. And is it really how and when you want to find out & clarify yes she doesn't want to date anymore

 

Lastly, for respect & best chance with her going forward considering the possibility you would keep dating, you should leave it. She hasn't contacted you in time & hasn't brought it up. You would look pathetic and have no leverage with her and lose more of her respect if you chase her down to follow through on your birthday plans. It's really insulting and at the very least she should be wondering what you are up to instead. And see that you would rather let this special occasion with you pass by than sign up for drama on your birthday weekend. Level the playing field a bit.

 

How she is and will handle this will help you come to your conclusion. You can pick back up the discussion of "what are we to each other" next week if you want. Kick the can down the road! Old saying that I learned which I love. Happy Birthday!

 

Great well thought out reply ! Thank you

 

I'm going to digest it.

 

However we did just talk and it was the best conversation we've had in awhile. Zero weirdness. Tons of laughter. Very comfortable. She asked me what I wanted to do on my bday. I had hoped to bike around one of our city parks plus casual dinner and drinks etc. Unfortunately it's going to rain horribly. So we talked about dinner than jazz club but that doesn't feel right.

 

We always do nice dinner and drinks and sometimes dancing. I can't keep it up. Need something more interactive and casual.

 

Either way the where are we going discussion I'm going to kick the can and wait until next week. I don't want that discussion on my bday.

 

I do understand the great fun conversation doesn't mean we are or are not in friend zone. Did feel like me however. Me being me.

[biker23]

Thought I would update. Friday we texted about what to do on my bday. Long story short there was a miscommunication and what I told her she thought I was going on a date that night with someone else. When we talked Sat she asked what we were doing. I was surprised and said I told her. She was shocked and told me what she had assumed. Said she just hung out with a neighbor couple that we've hung with before and they asked how I was doing and she said well he is out on a date. They said ohhhhh. She told me she drank too much and crashed late. She said it was no big deal but it didn't come acros that way.

 

So that evening was amazing. 4pm to 4am. Laughter. Closeness. I had not seen her this excited and happy in awhile. Active date. Not just dinner and drinks. She posted a pic on social media of the two of us in a fun pose. Captioned it happy bday to this guy. what an incredible human being I am and proud to spend my days with him. She NEVER posts private stuff on social media. Very private.

 

I woke up at 11:30 to a dozen texts from her. Saying Wake up. Helllooo. Hiii. Etc. Wanted to go to brunch. We spent the day together with brunch and shopping. I hug her from behind while looking at something on a shelf. Or we'd walk and she was rubbng my back.

 

Then I'm traveling for biz this week and we talked last night for an hour on phone. Longest ever. She also joked about some of the arguments we had last weekend. We haven't talked today.

 

So while I'm excited I'm also wary. I wasn't going to bring up exclusivity or try to label the relationship as that seems needy. Friends feel she got a taste of life without me and realized how much I do mean to her.

 

On flip side as a negative thought. Is this an extreme friend zone. It didn't feel like friends but is she so relaxed now because this relationship pressure is gone?

[JS84]

She's been engaged 3 times after she was divorced? What's the story behind that red flag???