Mudzy Posted December 4, 2016 Posted December 4, 2016 Originally she was the one chasing me to hang out saying she missed me but i was super busy with work and etc we hung out last year but it just never really went anywhere. I agreed to meet up with her it felt awesome and we proceeded to keep seeing each other more with me being on work and her study break and getting close over the next month then she was the one who initiated the relationship we dated officially for a month everything was peachy she would pretty much come around to mine every night her idea then all of a sudden as she started to study again she started being a little bit cold via fb message then out of the blue she told me she needed space just to focus on study etc. Then two days days (last tuesday) later she messaged me this "I apologize for the paragraph, but I have so much on my mind lately. Okay. So I've been thinking, a lot. I love you will all my heart I really do. But I feel like this whole thing has been rushed into, and it's finally caught up to me. ( mostly my fault I know) but I've been feeling down the last few days, I just feel different. I've took the time lately to think at work and uni about what I want & I feel like I need to just focus on myself right now. Do my bike riding again, go to the gym, focus on my uni work... I'm the worst person at this stuff, but I'd rather just tell you how I'm feeling. I don't know what I want tho with us. In regards to if you still want to hang out and stuff? You make me so happy, but then I feel like I'm not ready for the commitment of a relationship right now when I need to focus on myself. A relationship can be a distraction. I don't know (myname) I can't word this properly. I'd rather say all of this now instead of like 2 weeks down the line right before Christmas and feel even worse if that makes sense. I'm just all mixed up at this time of the year I responded saying i felt something was up and i understand and respect her and we spoke about having a break we agreed to it, i asked if we were going to see other people etc and she said if it happens it happens but im not really interested in that she just wants to be with friends and family. I responded saying alright lets do the break then to give you and me time to be ourselves and focus on our lives and give it another crack in the new year. I was away for work while this went down so i was away she kept snap chatting me i tried not to respectfully give her space she kept trying then after about three days i flaked and replied cause she was seing a band we both like i kept it brief she wanted to meet up after i agreed to. she came over i was cold at the start trying to keep it formal then she kept creeping closer to me touching my hand eventually then we ended up kissing and she confessed she missed me and i said i did to she cried and confessed she loved me and that she was stupid we talked about what we have been doing for the week apart and she asked if she could stay i said yes and it felt like we were back together. Then the next day i seen on my facebook feed she was tagging some other guy in random posts and memes in a kind of flirty manner i just figured it was a friend (she has a few guy friends) i just blew it off as nothing. we snap chatted during the day a little then she asked me to come around and stay over and i met her parents and family for the first time. then later that night i asked how do you feel about us she said she doesn't know she said she really loves me and misses me and it kind of went nowhere and we kept spooning. Then today again i was on facebook at break and noticed she tagged him again in more stuff and is sending me snap chats not to sure what is happening id love to be with her im working on giving her more space today just don't know how to go about this i want to be with her not sure if i should just back off and let her come to me again or just keep doing what ever it is we are doing now. Anything advice will help guys much thanks! 1
ExpatInItaly Posted December 4, 2016 Posted December 4, 2016 Don't do this to yourself, OP. She doesn't feel the strongly about you but you're a convenient source of affection and attention. She will probably leave you hanging in the dust when she finds a guy she wants to date. Tell her to call you only if she wants to discuss reconciliation. I would advise you to start seeing others. 3
Slimtripper Posted December 4, 2016 Posted December 4, 2016 Don't do this to yourself, OP. She doesn't feel the strongly about you but you're a convenient source of affection and attention. She will probably leave you hanging in the dust when she finds a guy she wants to date. Tell her to call you only if she wants to discuss reconciliation. I would advise you to start seeing others. I just had the same thing and I got all the same cliche crap in the last few texts. Concentrate on me etc. There is probably someone else. I gave mine a week of space but she jus moved away more and then in the end I said I'm Moving on. She wanted to do what yours said. Let's be friends and who knows what will happen in the future. Basically doesn't want the emotion of the break up so will keep u there hurting over n over to be her Krutch until she's moved on with someone else. I told her no and gone nc and moving on. If I had my time again I wouldn't have given her the weeks space. Their mind is made up months before. Do NOT agree to see what happens in Jan she's just delaying that help herself. Walk away, go nc 2
Sweetfish Posted December 4, 2016 Posted December 4, 2016 Monkey branch move..there is another guy. 1
travelbug1996 Posted December 4, 2016 Posted December 4, 2016 She's wishy washy. Give her a slow fade. If you break it off abruptly she's going to want you more. Not because she wants you but because it would become a challenge. She's gonna be a headache if you continue this confusion. 1
Author Mudzy Posted December 4, 2016 Author Posted December 4, 2016 Thank you for the response's the more i think about what you are all saying i do see it. i felt like i was being used the night before when i asked how do you feel about us and she didn't know but wanted me there i just thought we were moving forward with meeting her family and stuff but slowly this time (foolish me) I still want to be with her but from what you are all saying seems like her attraction is gone and I'm just an emotional band aid until her wound heals. I want to end it just to start the healing process for myself but as you said she will probably come back for the challenge or maybe not and i feel like i want to end it for the chance to have her back which is dumb. Just been a hard week not much sleep struggling to eat im never usually like this with girls but she for whatever feels like the be all end all. So should i say anything to her or just go cold and stop talking? And when she ask's what should i say? Thanks again for all this! 1
Slimtripper Posted December 4, 2016 Posted December 4, 2016 Thank you for the response's the more i think about what you are all saying i do see it. i felt like i was being used the night before when i asked how do you feel about us and she didn't know but wanted me there i just thought we were moving forward with meeting her family and stuff but slowly this time (foolish me) I still want to be with her but from what you are all saying seems like her attraction is gone and I'm just an emotional band aid until her wound heals. I want to end it just to start the healing process for myself but as you said she will probably come back for the challenge or maybe not and i feel like i want to end it for the chance to have her back which is dumb. Just been a hard week not much sleep struggling to eat im never usually like this with girls but she for whatever feels like the be all end all. So should i say anything to her or just go cold and stop talking? And when she ask's what should i say? Thanks again for all this! Text her n say the situation isn't good for either of you and you're going to be moving on and blocking her from all forms of contact 2
travelbug1996 Posted December 4, 2016 Posted December 4, 2016 ^^^^^What this poster said. Be honest and block. 1
Satu Posted December 4, 2016 Posted December 4, 2016 She seems to have a disempowering effect on you, leaving you disconnected from yourself; empty. She takes what she wants, and leaves you emotionally depleted, to the point where you're not sleeping and eating properly. Can you see how bad that is? She would take the last drop of emotional energy from you. Take responsibility for your own wellbeing, and cut all contact with her. *No direct contact. *No sending or receiving of messages. *Block any means she might use to contact you. *No replies to anything that gets through your blocks. *No indirect contact through third parties. *De-friend or delete her from all social media. *No monitoring of her on social media. *No 'little birds' feeding you news. *Tell people that you don't want to know anything about what she is doing or saying. Take care.
Recommended Posts