lovestinkss Posted December 4, 2016 Posted December 4, 2016 I've been seeing this guy on and off for a few weeks. He told me from the beginning that he could be needy and jealous and he wanted to be with someone but felt like he didn't have much to offer because of his current situation. We are both single adults (mid thirties) and we hit it off after our first house date. We spent a week together everyday just hanging out and spending time with each other. One day, I asked if I could come over and he asked me to come another day which I thought was odd but I brushed it off. A few days go by (we are still communicating) and he invites me over. We spend the night with each other and are intimate. He and his wife recently divorced and he is basically starting over. New job, new place, co parenting etc. After that things were still fine but in the back of my mind, I'm uneasy. His phone rings and beeps constantly (we met online so I'm sure he is dating others), he sent me a song from Youtube one day and he sent it to another lady that same day, sometimes he will take hours to text me back and sometimes he wont text back until the following day. I've told him I liked him and didn't appreciate the hot and cold behavior and told him it was best if we no longer dated. Of course, he offered many excuses (his kids had his phone, his phone was died, he was sleep, etc). I decided to lessen the communication. So today, I finally text him and ask him how was he doing. He said fine and I told him I was just checking up on him. He said I hope you have been enjoying whomever (insinuating that I have been dealing with other men which I haven't) and he told me I could come over. So I leave the store I was in and go home and shower and about 45 minutes later, I asked what was he up to because I was leaving out. He said his mother came by and they were going out. No apology, no letting me know she "came by", no nothing. I told him to enjoy his mom and have a nice life. What gives?? 1
Gr8fuln2020 Posted December 4, 2016 Posted December 4, 2016 I've been seeing this guy on and off for a few weeks. He told me from the beginning that he could be needy and jealous and he wanted to be with someone but felt like he didn't have much to offer because of his current situation. We are both single adults (mid thirties) and we hit it off after our first house date. We spent a week together everyday just hanging out and spending time with each other. One day, I asked if I could come over and he asked me to come another day which I thought was odd but I brushed it off. A few days go by (we are still communicating) and he invites me over. We spend the night with each other and are intimate. He and his wife recently divorced and he is basically starting over. New job, new place, co parenting etc. After that things were still fine but in the back of my mind, I'm uneasy. His phone rings and beeps constantly (we met online so I'm sure he is dating others), he sent me a song from Youtube one day and he sent it to another lady that same day, sometimes he will take hours to text me back and sometimes he wont text back until the following day. I've told him I liked him and didn't appreciate the hot and cold behavior and told him it was best if we no longer dated. Of course, he offered many excuses (his kids had his phone, his phone was died, he was sleep, etc). I decided to lessen the communication. So today, I finally text him and ask him how was he doing. He said fine and I told him I was just checking up on him. He said I hope you have been enjoying whomever (insinuating that I have been dealing with other men which I haven't) and he told me I could come over. So I leave the store I was in and go home and shower and about 45 minutes later, I asked what was he up to because I was leaving out. He said his mother came by and they were going out. No apology, no letting me know she "came by", no nothing. I told him to enjoy his mom and have a nice life. What gives?? I'm sorry, but this guy was bad news as soon as he confessed that he could be jealous, needy and didn't feel he had much to offer. I would be TOTALLY turned off by someone like him! What a downer of a personality to even attempt to date....AND JUST AFTER A DIVORCE???! His actions don't surprise me. It would be consistent with someone who is not looking for any kind of commitment or monogamy. His initial confession sounds like a warning and an excuse to play for a while. He must have been pretty good looking to risk going out with a guy like that. 7
joseb Posted December 4, 2016 Posted December 4, 2016 "He told me from the beginning that he could be needy and jealous and he wanted to be with someone but felt like he didn't have much to offer because of his current situation." Then why on earth would you even see him again???!!!!!!! 6
ExpatInItaly Posted December 4, 2016 Posted December 4, 2016 "He told me from the beginning that he could be needy and jealous and he wanted to be with someone but felt like he didn't have much to offer because of his current situation." Then why on earth would you even see him again???!!!!!!! This?? OP, he warned you himself that he could be difficult. Now you are seeing that he was right. Forget about him, he's not someone you want to date. 2
DarrenB Posted December 4, 2016 Posted December 4, 2016 This?? OP, he warned you himself that he could be difficult. Now you are seeing that he was right. Forget about him, he's not someone you want to date. Yupp, sort of denied the inevitable with this one 1
basil67 Posted December 4, 2016 Posted December 4, 2016 I agree that he was bad news to start with. But what's up with you being all needy about his texting. Having a dead phone or not hearing a text is not an "excuse". It's a reason. Today I discovered that my own phone had been on silent since I can't remember when and I had a heap of missed messages. I wasn't deliberately ignoring them. And your comment about doing whomever was beyond catty. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted December 4, 2016 Posted December 4, 2016 I agree that he was bad news to start with. But what's up with you being all needy about his texting. Having a dead phone or not hearing a text is not an "excuse". It's a reason. Today I discovered that my own phone had been on silent since I can't remember when and I had a heap of missed messages. I wasn't deliberately ignoring them. And your comment about doing whomever was beyond catty. The way I understood it, he said that to her. 1
Satu Posted December 4, 2016 Posted December 4, 2016 (edited) snip I've been seeing this guy on and off for a few weeks. *He told me from the beginning that he could be needy and jealous and he wanted to be with someone but felt like he didn't have much to offer *Thats the point where I would have walked away. The recent divorce means I would have walked faster. Take care. Edited December 4, 2016 by Satu 1
Art_Critic Posted December 4, 2016 Posted December 4, 2016 You weren't stood up.. you took 45 mins to answer his text.. he sent that same text out to several women and someone else replied faster. You might want to let this guy go, he is just divorced and multidating and having the time of his life.. he can't be trusted and won't tell you the truth.. Heartache in your future if you think this will work out, smooth talking guys like this leave a lot of women in their wake. 5
Versacehottie Posted December 4, 2016 Posted December 4, 2016 Stop seeing him or responding to him. He's not a good person to date. For the future, if some guy tells you he can't offer much up front, take that as the WARNING it is meant to be that he will purposely give you less and less and put minimal effort in. Moving forward after a statement like that or behavior that is dismissive, is you essentially agreeing to treatment like that and it will get worse not better. Do not hang around hoping he wakes up and starts acting better. Wait until he acts better, shows more effort to see him at all (this is generalized "him"; i think it's done with this one). also think the "mother" thing was fake. He's just saying that one because you'd be a complete nag if you flipped out because of being stood up for that reason/person hence why he uses that excuse. Good luck 3
basil67 Posted December 4, 2016 Posted December 4, 2016 The way I understood it, he said that to her. My apologies. His comment was beyond catty. Just write him off.
winny Posted December 4, 2016 Posted December 4, 2016 "He told me from the beginning that he could be needy and jealous and he wanted to be with someone but felt like he didn't have much to offer because of his current situation." Then why on earth would you even see him again???!!!!!!! 1000 times... this ^^^^ Rule of thumb...!!! I learnt it the hard way few years back. Any guy who tells you himself he isn't good enough... believe him and run in the opposite direction. 2
smackie9 Posted December 5, 2016 Posted December 5, 2016 Online, recently divorced.....meed I say more. 2
mortensorchid Posted December 5, 2016 Posted December 5, 2016 He sounds like a real jagoff. Whatever the case may be, he's not interested in you. Move on.
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