Edalmar Posted December 3, 2016 Posted December 3, 2016 To give context we are both 18 and our time is incredibly restricted and limited by her school, my work and her parent. We'll make 8 months in a few days, but it feels like i hardly physically know her because we hardly see eachother. We text everydag, and i accept it even though im not a text type person. We see eachother once a week, because after work on thursdays, i pick her up from her school and bring her home. Why thursday? She gets out at 7;50pm and it leaves time for me to get to pick her up and bring her to her house. Im very grateful for the hour i am privilaged to see her. We've not done anything crazy, we're a relatively innocent couple considering nowadays. Before thanksgiving, she was invited to a party some of her friends, she had told me she was going to it on the day of the party. "Thanksgiving party" registered as "family party" in my head. I didnt realize it was a friend thing until she sent pics much later into the party. Mind you, I tell her all the time i wanna see her but i understand that she cannot because of studies. Also a 4 year long male friend was there and i know he has feelings for her. I often feel like I'm not prioritized or considered, but i like to believe shes simply naive and doesnt know how to go about being affectionate or involving me in this stuff. I cant wrap my head around why she wouldnt invite me or at least inform me. The week before she went to a museum with friends. While that made me overthink it was for her studies so i let it slide... I dont tell her these things because i dont want her to feel guilty, be too distracted to study, or think of the fun times shes had at these friend get togethers as times she didnt involve me in things... I do the best i can to support this borderline long distant relationship, ive done many things for us, for her. I guess i wanna know if its just insecurities or do i have a valid reason to feel deeply neglected? This is basically my first relationship so id like the aid, please and thank you. Have a great day everyone
bachdude Posted December 4, 2016 Posted December 4, 2016 hi I have two thoughts. Even though your time is limited together, I think it is still important for her to work in some "friend time". My second thought is, I tend to agree with you on the TG party with friends. If you are are an important part of her life, I would think she would ask her friends if it's ok for you to come to the party with her. Does she ever include you with social times with her friends?
umirano Posted December 4, 2016 Posted December 4, 2016 I think it's fair to feel the way you feel about this. Tell her. Don't be a sissy about it. Don't be dramatic. Tell her you're not getting back enough in no uncertain terms. Tell her what you want to change and what is going to happen if she fails to deliver. Give her a reasonable time frame to show her she is really into you. If this doesn't happen don't be a doormat. Walk out and chalk it up to dating experience. You're probably not going to end up marrying this girl, it's fine to break up with her if necessary.
joseb Posted December 4, 2016 Posted December 4, 2016 In what way exactly is she your "girlfriend" Sounds like you are an unpaid driver once a week - or am I missing something? What else do you do for her? Does she do anything for you?
ExpatInItaly Posted December 4, 2016 Posted December 4, 2016 In what way exactly is she your "girlfriend" Sounds like you are an unpaid driver once a week - or am I missing something? What else do you do for her? Does she do anything for you? I was wondering the same thing. You barely see each other, she's not affectionate with you, and it sounds like you're not included in her plans very much. What are you getting from this relationship, OP?
RoseHeart Posted December 4, 2016 Posted December 4, 2016 She could have just asked. Me and my boyfriend always, always invite the other to a party unless it will be exclusively only guys or girls. Even if we think the other won't join, it's just respectful to at least give your partner the choice. Due to your lack of seeing each other makes it even worse yes, and I don't think you are overreacting. Tell her you think it's just the right thing to invite your partner to a larger social gathering and see how she reacts. There's a chance she didn't realize how much you would have liked to go or thought you could not make it or something. So just talk about it and don't let it slide as you two are going to need to learn to communicate very well if you hardly see each other.
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