Author Grey40 Posted December 8, 2016 Author Posted December 8, 2016 (edited) Why are you stalking girls on IG? Use a dating app/website if you're going to be this way and looking for a date You're not building any connection with these women. You're essentially, "hi i'm grey40 are you free this day?" Figure that's what the date is for to build connection. And you're right, when you message people on IG or Facebook, you don't know for sure if they are even looking for a date. They could be seeing someone else, or not looking at the moment, that I understand. I know that going in. I just don't get why this chick has even gone this far. I mean, when she didn't respond to my initial date on IG, she could have stopped there and I would have moved on. Instead she says sorry, gives me her number giving me hope only to pull the same crap again. Maybe she wants me to talk to her more? Maybe she wanted a phone call? This particular girl knows who I am, she went to my high school, I'm not a random creepy stranger messaging her on IG. And I don't look intimidating/scary etc. I've done the whole "talk to the girl for 4-5 days texting back and forth and "building connection" and get the same result. There's no need to BS around texting, the point is that I want to meet you in person and try and build rapport there and see if it's worth continuing. Edited December 8, 2016 by Grey40
TheTraveler Posted December 8, 2016 Posted December 8, 2016 Figure that's what the date is for to build connection. And you're right, when you message people on IG or Facebook, you don't know for sure if they are even looking for a date. They could be seeing someone else, or not looking at the moment, that I understand. I know that going in. I just don't get why this chick has even gone this far. I mean, when she didn't respond to my initial date on IG, she could have stopped there and I would have moved on. Instead she says sorry, gives me her number giving me hope only to pull the same crap again. Maybe she wants me to talk to her more? Maybe she wanted a phone call? This particular girl knows who I am, she went to my high school, I'm not a random creepy stranger messaging her on IG. And I don't look intimidating/scary etc. I've done the whole "talk to the girl for 4-5 days texting back and forth and "building connection" and get the same result. There's no need to BS around texting, the point is that I want to meet you in person and try and build rapport there and see if it's worth continuing. The problem I see with your exchanges with this girl and others...where is the excitement in meeting you?
CryForNoOne Posted December 8, 2016 Posted December 8, 2016 Ok so like I said she replied back on Instagram and left her phone number etc. So I waited a couple of days, and just texted her the following: Me : Hey xxx, how's your week going? Her: hi hi! It's been good, really busy but good how is yours?! Me: same here, been busy but in the best of ways. Are you availabe Saturday? Her: I'm working at the bar on Saturday? Me: are you fee Sunday? Her: I can do Sunday Me: Great, how about we go to XXX? How does 2pm sound? No response. You gotta be ****ing kidding me. The EXACT same thing that happened on Instagram. What makes it worse is that she just likes my recent Instagram post like 2 minutes ago but still hasn't responded to the text (says she read it). . What in the flying hell is going on? Maybe she doesn't want to go to the place i offered? I just really don't understand what she could be thinking. She may very well be saying "What the flying hell is going on with this guy? He's like a bot. I liked him at first, but has nothing interesting to say, so I thought he got the hint I wasn't interested. I decide to give him another shot and he says the EXACT same thing by text as by Instagram. I might as well have fun with this and f**k with him and do the same exact thing again..."
joseb Posted December 8, 2016 Posted December 8, 2016 She may very well be saying "What the flying hell is going on with this guy? He's like a bot. I liked him at first, but has nothing interesting to say, so I thought he got the hint I wasn't interested. I decide to give him another shot and he says the EXACT same thing by text as by Instagram. I might as well have fun with this and f**k with him and do the same exact thing again..." In fairness, he changed the time from 3 to 2 Sunday ... 1
herodgrant Posted December 8, 2016 Posted December 8, 2016 Yeah please remember that women get approached in person, on FB, on Insta, on Tinder, etc etc by many guys. We can't just go out with every dude that shows interest because who has time for that? So while you're right that the date is for building interest/testing the dynamic, you need to already have some kind of pull for her to actually take the time to go out with you. Was that the extent of your chat? Just saying "do you still live here? Wanna go out?". Because yeah no wonder she's non-committal.
Author Grey40 Posted December 8, 2016 Author Posted December 8, 2016 Yeah please remember that women get approached in person, on FB, on Insta, on Tinder, etc etc by many guys. We can't just go out with every dude that shows interest because who has time for that? So while you're right that the date is for building interest/testing the dynamic, you need to already have some kind of pull for her to actually take the time to go out with you. Was that the extent of your chat? Just saying "do you still live here? Wanna go out?". Because yeah no wonder she's non-committal. Just wanted to cut to the chase. And yeah that was the extent of the chat. You really think if I talked to her more it would have made a difference? That's where I'm not so sure. I was always under the impression that you're either interested or you're not. I'm not a great texter, I'm much better interacting in person when I can show my personality. Texting is all stupid small talk for me, and I don't want to be unnatural and go out of my way to be "interesting" just for the hope that she'll suddenly gain interest. She follows me on social media, she knows who I am and she's not random. She knows enough about me to decide whether or not she wants to go out for drinks to get to know me more. I guess I just read her interest level wrong. Has this happened to any of you before though? Literally ask a girl out they ignore you, then say sorry givevyou their number and then ignore you again? Anyways, how should I proceed now? Should I just forget her completely?
joseb Posted December 8, 2016 Posted December 8, 2016 Has this happened to any of you before though? Literally ask a girl out they ignore you, then say sorry givevyou their number and then ignore you again? Yes, absolutely. Especially the attractive ones that are juggling all the options. Or the ones that just love all that chasing an attention. In your case, it's a bit different, as you already know her (but not that well, right?) I'm not a huge advocate of calling people, these days people view it as an intrusion, but maybe in this case it's worth a shot, as you can ask her out and get a definite answer and be done with it.
olivetree Posted December 8, 2016 Posted December 8, 2016 I think it'd help if you gave more info... like how you know the girl, when the last time you saw her was, how much you talked before you first asked her out the first time. Although this particular case seems like a lost cause, maybe we can help you shed some more light on the situation for the future.
Author Grey40 Posted December 9, 2016 Author Posted December 9, 2016 I think it'd help if you gave more info... like how you know the girl, when the last time you saw her was, how much you talked before you first asked her out the first time. Although this particular case seems like a lost cause, maybe we can help you shed some more light on the situation for the future. Thanks I would really appreciate it. I always wonder if it's something I'm doing wrong, but I guess not. Never heard of someone agreeing to a day for the date and then going silent when asked about the time. Most girls at least agree to all of that and then flake last minute and say they can't make it. She's not even agreeing to the time she's just disappearing. Really hard to grasp. Background: we went to the same high school, never hung out or talked to each other back then, we weren't in the same clique or group for that to happen. And I was really nervous and shy back then. That was Facebook first really came out, so everyone pretty much friended each other on there if you knew of them. So we've been friends on Facebook forever, once again never talked to each other. We ran into each other at a pizzeria I worked at in college, and she gave me the eyes. Like stopped in her tracks kind of look in a good way. Like an "omg he's really hot" kind of look. Can't describe it but I know exactly what it means and it's something you don't get everyday. So I knew she thought I was attractive or became attractive or something. Ever since that day, she's been periodically liking my statues on Facebook and posts on Instagram--not over the top, but definitely liking them in a noticeable way. I was in a relationship during this time, so obviously thought nothing of it. Broke up with my gf in June. In August of this year, I happen to be at the bar she's working at just hanging out with some friends watching a band play. Like I mentioned before, we had light conversation, she gave me free drinks and genuinely seemed interested in learning about what I'm up to...as if we were "old friends" or something. Which I found bizare because we never really knew each other very well. Should have asked for her number right then and there, but was with friends and they didn't want to hang around and wait so it didn't happen. Since then, the liking of my posts became more frequent and more noticeable than ever. So I figured what the hell, I have a feeling this girl is into me and interested in possibly hanging out or pursuing something..so I sent her a message on Instagram, because she seems much more active on there than Facebook these days. I asked her out pretty much out of the blue with no talking beforehand because I figured the interest was already there. And I've also read on here that most people think it's best to ask girls out quickly rather than try to beat around the bush. I'm pretty sure she was into me or attracted to me enough to at least give it a shot and hang out once, I was pretty bummed to get denied twice.
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