Another Flake?

[Miss Peach]

You won't like this but I tend to do stuff like that when I'm putting a guy on the back burner or I'm waiting/hoping for a better offer. I've also had a few instances that I didn't see a text so don't jump to conclusions just yet.

 

I would send a text on Saturday asking "Does 3:00pm still work for you?" as if you had the plans. You'll be able to get a clear picture if she's interested and it's a mistake or if she's not based on her response.

[winny]

.99^20=.818, which means 18.2% which about 20% chance wise a$$. As far as text misfires, I did one just a month ago when I accidentally asked my ex "Do you ice skate?" instead of the new girl I was dating. Ironic, you misspelled "text" as you were saying it's only happened once in the history of texting...

 

Look it obviously wasn't the case here, but what is the harm in repeating a text if you get no response? Fine, if you think repeating a text reeks of desperation then go ahead and spend 15 minutes crafting the perfectly worded followup - that's not weird at all. My point is if she really likes you and it was a misfire, repeating the same text prevents any miscommunication from arising. NO woman in the history of dating who REALLY LIKES a guy has suddenly lost interest because he repeated a text. If she wasn't interested to begin with, her opinion of you won't change anyway...

 

The point is that it wasn't a standalone message. They were having a conversation back and forth and she stopped responding exactly at the point when she had to confirm him back on the specifics and went all quiet.

That's your cue to know she isn't interested and take your business elsewhere.

[ChatroomHero]

.99^20=.818, which means 18.2% which about 20% chance wise a$$. As far as text misfires, I did one just a month ago when I accidentally asked my ex "Do you ice skate?" instead of the new girl I was dating. Ironic, you misspelled "text" as you were saying it's only happened once in the history of texting...

 

Look it obviously wasn't the case here, but what is the harm in repeating a text if you get no response? Fine, if you think repeating a text reeks of desperation then go ahead and spend 15 minutes crafting the perfectly worded followup - that's not weird at all. My point is if she really likes you and it was a misfire, repeating the same text prevents any miscommunication from arising. NO woman in the history of dating who REALLY LIKES a guy has suddenly lost interest because he repeated a text. If she wasn't interested to begin with, her opinion of you won't change anyway...

 

Sigh. If something happens 1% of the time, it does not mean if you do it 20 times it has a 20% chance of happening as you originally falsely asserted. It still has a 1% chance. That means .02 times out of 20 it may happen. In reality it might happen once out of every 500 messages maybe. Maybe. I'll let you calculate that percentage.

 

20% of 20 is 4. You are claiming 4 times out of every 20 message (or 1 out of every 5 messages sent wise Ass), a text is miss fired or fails to send. Think about that for a minute sports fan.

[CryForNoOne]

The point is that it wasn't a standalone message. They were having a conversation back and forth and she stopped responding exactly at the point when she had to confirm him back on the specifics and went all quiet.

That's your cue to know she isn't interested and take your business elsewhere.

 

That's obvious but also sitting around 2 days for a reply is also dumb. Who cares what she thinks? I'm certainly not going to put my plans on hold for 2 days while she decides whether she'll reply or not... I'm in sales and correspond with potential clients by phone and text all the time. I treat potential dates the same exact way I treat clients and it has worked wonders for my dating success. I learned in sales many years ago that face to face or live conversation is much more compelling than a voice mail or a text message. So I always call before texting. If they don't pickup I hang up before it goes to voice mail. Then I text them identifying myself and asking when would be a good time to call. If they don't reply I move on. If I were in the middle of a text conversation and they suddenly stopped replying, the odds are they aren't interested. But I'm not going to sit there like some tool waiting 2 days for a reply that may never come. I'll send the same exact text again in a couple hours and they don't reply I'll move on. Women are just like sales calls. If you let them send you to voice mail, they will, and you'll never hear from them again. But if you get a live voice, you'll close many more deals. Maybe only 20%. But 20% of something is much more than 100% of nothing. If you're not getting rejected, then you're not trying...

[CryForNoOne]

Sigh. If something happens 1% of the time, it does not mean if you do it 20 times it has a 20% chance of happening as you originally falsely asserted. It still has a 1% chance. That means .02 times out of 20 it may happen. In reality it might happen once out of every 500 messages maybe. Maybe. I'll let you calculate that percentage.

 

20% of 20 is 4. You are claiming 4 times out of every 20 message (or 1 out of every 5 messages sent wise Ass), a text is miss fired or fails to send. Think about that for a minute sports fan.

 

I have a masters in mechanical engineering. The odds of something happening at least once in x trials if it has a y% chance of occurring each trial is calculated as follows: 1-(1-y)^x. Or 1-(1-.01)^20=.182. You don't even have a rudimentary understanding of statistics and probability so I'm not even going to waste my responding to any posts about this. It's completely off topic anyway but the odds are .182. Go ask your high school math teacher...

[olivetree]

I've had plenty of times I thought I replied to someone but for whatever reason the message did not get through - I was multitasking and forgot to hit send, no Internet connection and it got stuck in outbox, thought I hit send but didn't, replied to wrong person, whatever... It probably only happens about 1% of the time, but guess what you send 20 messages to someone you just met, then there's about a 20% chance of a misfire.

 

Lol @ the math war.

 

CryForNoOne, I think maybe you just mistyped here. Perhaps you meant to say 0.2% chance here instead of 20%? I think that's what all the flack is about.

[CryForNoOne]

Lol @ the math war.

 

CryForNoOne, I think maybe you just mistyped here. Perhaps you meant to say 0.2% chance here instead of 20%? I think that's what all the flack is about.

 

I know it's ridiculous but I'm not going to back down to ignorance. There are too many people in this country who can't do basic math. If something has a 1% chance of going wrong each time you try it, then if you try it 20 times, there is an 18.2% chance it will go wrong at least once. I didn't bother doing the math, as the 1% was a number I was pulling out of my a$$ anyway, but 18.2% is "about 20%". I send and receive dozens of texts messages to/with clients every day. I have at least one misfire a week either by them or by me. I agree in this situation that was very unlikely but it DOES happen. The most common one is usually replying to the wrong person because they texted you out of the blue when you were mid stream conversation with someone else. That's how I got into the embarrassing one asking my ex if she ice skated. The other common mistake is auto-correct fills in the wrong name and you don't notice it...

[olivetree]

I know it's ridiculous but I'm not going to back down to ignorance. There are too many people in this country who can't do basic math. If something has a 1% chance of going wrong each time you try it, then if you try it 20 times, there is an 18.2% chance it will go wrong at least once. I didn't bother doing the math, as the 1% was a number I was pulling out of my a$$ anyway, but 18.2% is "about 20%". I send and receive dozens of texts messages to/with clients every day. I have at least one misfire a week either by them or by me. I agree in this situation that was very unlikely but it DOES happen. The most common one is usually replying to the wrong person because they texted you out of the blue when you were mid stream conversation with someone else. That's how I got into the embarrassing one asking my ex if she ice skated. The other common mistake is auto-correct fills in the wrong name and you don't notice it...

 

Thanks for explaining. I saw the 20% and then ChatroomHero said something about 0.2% and thought it was a mistype.

 

Shouldn't each try be independent of each other, not cumulative? You are hands down better at math, I'm just curious.

Edited December 6, 2016 by olivetree

[CommittedToThis]

Me: cool, how about 3pm? I'll meet you there

 

Perhaps next time consider extending the courtesy of offering your date the luxury of a ride in your own car? Or offer a cab? Or am I just old fashioned and these days it's considered dangerous?

[olivetree]

Perhaps next time consider extending the courtesy of offering your date the luxury of a ride in your own car? Or offer a cab? Or am I just old fashioned and these days it's considered dangerous?

 

I thought about that too... that maybe meeting there was a turn off.

 

If I'd met a guy before, it would be nice to be offered a ride. If it is an online thing, meeting there is fine.

 

Still, if I was really interested, I would still go out with a guy that didn't offer me a ride. Sometimes those gestures come later.

[CryForNoOne]

Thanks for explaining. I saw the 20% and then ChatroomHero said something about 0.2% and thought it was a mistype.

 

Shouldn't each try be independent of each other, not cumulative? You are hands down better at math, I'm just curious.

 

Yes your intuition is correct. At the risk of derailing this thread further, I'll explain and then hopefully put this topic to bed. If there is a 1% chance of failure, and the only possible results are success or failure, then obviously there is a 99% chance of success. If you try something 20 times, your odds of being successful EVERY time are .99x.99 twenty times or .99^20=.818. i.e your odds of being successful EVERY time is 81.8%. 100%-81.8%=18.2%, which are all other results OTHER than 20 successes in a row. So, 18.2% of the time, you may have had MANY successes but at least one or more trials was a failure. So ChatroomHero proceeded to try to mock my numbers when they were absolutely reasonable. He wouldn't let it go so I had to take him to task. Now honestly, the odds are probably less than 1%. Probably like .3% or something but it's beside the point. Misfires happen. Usually not but what does the guy have to lose. I just don't get this pining around 2 days waiting for a response. That's the worst choice of all...

[CryForNoOne]

I thought about that too... that maybe meeting there was a turn off.

 

If I'd met a guy before, it would be nice to be offered a ride. If it is an online thing, meeting there is fine.

 

Still, if I was really interested, I would still go out with a guy that didn't offer me a ride. Sometimes those gestures come later.

 

Yes I always offer a ride once we've met. I'm always worried about the danger thing in the back of my mind, but surprisingly they always say yes if they are interested. Several times I've even given them a ride home on first meeting, and frankly if I were their dad I wouldn't approve...

[mortensorchid]

Although 90% of me says that she's not interested, there is no harm in sending one final text on Saturday morning asking "Are we still on for Sunday?" If she does not respond, it's done.

[olivetree]

Although 90% of me says that she's not interested, there is no harm in sending one final text on Saturday morning asking "Are we still on for Sunday?" If she does not respond, it's done.

 

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think the Sunday in question was 2 days ago.

[ChatroomHero]

Yes your intuition is correct. At the risk of derailing this thread further, I'll explain and then hopefully put this topic to bed. If there is a 1% chance of failure, and the only possible results are success or failure, then obviously there is a 99% chance of success. If you try something 20 times, your odds of being successful EVERY time are .99x.99 twenty times or .99^20=.818. i.e your odds of being successful EVERY time is 81.8%. 100%-81.8%=18.2%, which are all other results OTHER than 20 successes in a row. So, 18.2% of the time, you may have had MANY successes but at least one or more trials was a failure. So ChatroomHero proceeded to try to mock my numbers when they were absolutely reasonable. He wouldn't let it go so I had to take him to task. Now honestly, the odds are probably less than 1%. Probably like .3% or something but it's beside the point. Misfires happen. Usually not but what does the guy have to lose. I just don't get this pining around 2 days waiting for a response. That's the worst choice of all...

 

 

There is a statistical analysis term for your formula based on faulty logic to make an incorrect or misleading argument via specious reasoning...the term escapes me but as an engineer I know you know it...it's like claiming you have a 2% chance of winning the lotto because you have a 1-60 or whatever chance for each number drawn.

 

 

My point was simple and correct, she got the message and was ignoring it. Asking her out twice with the same message is desperate and needy in a social setting and if there was a chance she was on the fence, texting to ask her out once and then asking her again in another day or two with a "did my last message go through" type text is social suicide. Oh, you also forgot to factor in all the variables like the fact that he was replying on a pre-existing message string so the only chance of failure is solely on based on his cell service failure and the fact phones indicate the user for failed messages. So that is why I feel your response was comical and devoid of social and practical reality.

[selinaluv]

If he wants to get the confirmation then just send it.

 

What is the worst that will happen? No major consequences here and if knowing for sure helps you, then do it.

 

If she says no or ignores, his ego is bruised for a second and then he moves on.

 

If she says yes, then they proceed.

 

The worst thing happens is she chooses not to continue the conversation. Not a huge deal in the scheme of things.

[CryForNoOne]

There is a statistical analysis term for your formula based on faulty logic to make an incorrect or misleading argument via specious reasoning...the term escapes me but as an engineer I know you know it...it's like claiming you have a 2% chance of winning the lotto because you have a 1-60 or whatever chance for each number drawn.

 

 

My point was simple and correct, she got the message and was ignoring it. Asking her out twice with the same message is desperate and needy in a social setting and if there was a chance she was on the fence, texting to ask her out once and then asking her again in another day or two with a "did my last message go through" type text is social suicide. Oh, you also forgot to factor in all the variables like the fact that he was replying on a pre-existing message string so the only chance of failure is solely on based on his cell service failure and the fact phones indicate the user for failed messages. So that is why I feel your response was comical and devoid of social and practical reality.

 

No your point was convoluted by going off on a tangent about statistics when you were in fact wrong and now you won't let it go. We really aren't that far apart here on his topic. Of course you don't ask 3 days later "did you get my text?" I advised repeating the same text about an hour or two later. If she doesn't reply, move on. If she does great. But sitting there pining for 3 days IS desperate. Texting after 3 days IS social suicide. Can we move on now???

[winny]

No your point was convoluted by going off on a tangent about statistics when you were in fact wrong and now you won't let it go. We really aren't that far apart here on his topic. Of course you don't ask 3 days later "did you get my text?" I advised repeating the same text about an hour or two later. If she doesn't reply, move on. If she does great. But sitting there pining for 3 days IS desperate. Texting after 3 days IS social suicide. Can we move on now???

 

Doesnt matter if the two of you move on or not... Lol

Thread isnt about who out of you is correct n what credentials you have... On internet u can pose as anything... No one can verify

 

Anyways...OP did what he felt was right... In this case OP nothing that you could have done after she went silent would have changed the result... So chill... Better luck next time!! I know these threads n responses sometimes may make u feel that if u would have done x instead of y the gal would be yours... But there is no guarantee..

[Grey40]

Heres a summary of what has happened in total.

 

Wednesday Nov 30

 

Me: Hey are you still living in xxx?

Her: Iam!

Me: oh great, I was wondering if you'd like to grab some drinks this weekend if you're free

Her: I would love to! Unfortunetley I'm working at the bar Friday and Saturday.

Me: What about Sunday? We could go to XXX, I have off all day.

Her: That sounds awesome

Me: Cool, how about 3pm? I'll meet you there

 

No respone. Skip ahead three days later, I do what was suggested to resend the text just in case.

 

Saturday December 3

 

Me: Hey I never heard back from you, is 3pm tomorrow still good for you?

 

No response. At this point I gave up and moved on to other prospects. But..

 

Monday December 5

 

Her: Hi hi! I barely ever check these messages I'm so sorry. Phone Number. Xxx-xxxx

 

 

That's the last things that happened. I have not texted her yet. Plan to do so tomorrow and ask her out again this weekend. Am I wasting my time? I doubt she'd give me her number if she didn't want me to bother her. Not sure if at this point I want to go on a date with someone that Rudely ignored me on purpose and now is crawling back.

[Sunkissedpatio]

I've had plenty of times I thought I replied to someone but for whatever reason the message did not get through - I was multitasking and forgot to hit send, no Internet connection and it got stuck in outbox, thought I hit send but didn't, replied to wrong person, whatever... It probably only happens about 1% of the time, but guess what you send 20 messages to someone you just met, then there's about a 20% chance of a misfire. Are we to always assume that means they suddenly lost interest?

 

Ok I see your point on the forgetting to hit send but your math...hmmm.

 

So day-to-day you're saying chances of a misfire are 1% but if you send 20 texts 4 of them (20%) will be misfires!?! Might want to check your math there.

 

We need to stop making excuses for people with a low interest level and start taking control of ourselves and our lives when this happens to continue on our path and not become weaklings in the face of rejection. The more we chase and try to justify what is happening on the other end and persist with the chasing the less attractive/appealing we are to the opposite sex.

 

Women love to be pursued and chased by the guys they are interested in.

[Sunkissedpatio]

What is she even talking about she "barely checks the messages here" "here" where? MSN? Are you sending her messages on MSN messenger? Friendster?

 

C'mon!!! Everyone checks their phone and text messages. Please tell me that was in reference to something other than text on her phone.

 

If it is via Whatsapp or BBM or something still, when you are looking forward to hearing from someone you check it.

[Sunkissedpatio]

Oh never mind my last comment re texts I went back and read you reached out via Instagram. If it's like Facebook where you have to install the messenger app to send and receive msgs then I can see that. I know many that won't install msgr, including myself, and I have to be on my laptop to see messages because I dont want on my phone or tablets so maybe she's legit and really doesnt check them.

[Tonofbricks]

The first thing that jumped out at me was aperson who works at a bar and you want to take her back to one on a potential day off? Know this is the logical first meet scenario but maybe she's looking for something a little more original?

I have known some who work in that biz to hang out at that place after shift ended or even go on days off... some couldn't get far enough away from a bar.

Look at her Instagram.. if she has a bunch of pics with her and friends at watering hole then it's mute... or perhaps it's pics of artsy crap and nature walks. Do your hw, you tend to get out what you put in...develop a thicker skin ... will make life much easier. Advice I need to heed because just a few weeks ago I was posting something similar. The tables have flipped and now I'm the one hinting of disinterest.

 

I do think most guys strong suit is f2f so you may have to put up with some bs to get to that point. Go and be your best confident self and perhaps she'll be a dud and you'll be the one taking 2 days to respond... I rarely check those msgs, I'll let you know when I'm not busy..

[Grey40]

Ok so like I said she replied back on Instagram and left her phone number etc.

 

So I waited a couple of days, and just texted her the following:

 

Me : Hey xxx, how's your week going?

 

Her: hi hi! It's been good, really busy but good how is yours?!

 

Me: same here, been busy but in the best of ways. Are you availabe Saturday?

 

Her: I'm working at the bar on Saturday?

 

Me: are you fee Sunday?

 

Her: I can do Sunday

 

Me: Great, how about we go to XXX? How does 2pm sound?

 

No response. You gotta be ****ing kidding me. The EXACT same thing that happened on Instagram. What makes it worse is that she just likes my recent Instagram post like 2 minutes ago but still hasn't responded to the text (says she read it). .

 

What in the flying hell is going on? Maybe she doesn't want to go to the place i offered? I just really don't understand what she could be thinking.

Edited December 8, 2016 by Grey40

[TheTraveler]

Ok so like I said she replied back on Instagram and left her phone number etc.

 

So I waited a couple of days, and just texted her the following:

 

Me : Hey xxx, how's your week going?

 

Her: hi hi! It's been good, really busy but good how is yours?!

 

Me: same here, been busy but in the best of ways. Are you availabe Saturday?

 

Her: I'm working at the bar on Saturday?

 

Me: are you fee Sunday?

 

Her: I can do Sunday

 

Me: Great, how about we go to XXX? How does 2pm sound?

 

No response. You gotta be ****ing kidding me. The EXACT same thing that happened on Instagram. What makes it worse is that she just likes my recent Instagram post like 2 minutes ago but still hasn't read (she has read reciepts on so I can tell if she's read it) or responded to the text.

 

What in the flying hell is going on?

 

Why are you stalking girls on IG? Use a dating app/website if you're going to be this way and looking for a date

 

You're not building any connection with these women. You're essentially, "hi i'm grey40 are you free this day?"