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Is it better to end things officially or disappear?


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Posted (edited)

P

You've already confronted him about his behaviour and he lied. Where did the conversation go from there? Perhaps he already knows it's over.

 

It was understood i would have 3 weeks to think about it. He had a notion I would leave just knowing me. I wouldn't be able to contact him during those 3 weeks because he didn't have service. He called me recently and left a voicemail. He's coming back soon, in which he will be able to see the texts. It's not an official "it's over", but i went to the extent of saying some pretty harsh things (which i don't regret) and referencing the next girl. He's stupid enough to probably try to come back anyway. The average man would comprehend that it's over..he's a special case. We'll see. But yes he will be blocked. It's been a few days with NC on my part, so not sure if i want to break it for a final text.

Edited by HorseLuck
Posted

I probably would've made it clear that it's over. Even harsh comments leaves things open to interpretation regarding the relationship status. Don't complain if he comes sniffing around again, because you've left him an opening by not being definitive in your statements.

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Posted

*Forgot to add, he knew beforehand I had a zero tolerance policy for cheaters, and that if I caught him in a lie it was over.

Posted
He wanted me to take the 3 weeks to think about it, and if i decided to end things he asked for a phone call because he considers anything else "rude". He's lucky to even receive a text when he couldn't even be honest with me..

 

He had a notion I would leave just knowing me. [...] He's stupid enough to probably try to come back anyway. The average man would comprehend that it's over..he's a special case. We'll see. But yes he will be blocked. It's been a few days with NC on my part, so not sure if i want to break it for a final text.

 

So, you have an opportunity here to deny him that phone call (your retribution) and create the closure and finality you need... a three word text: "done, don't call." And you know he will because those are HIS terms. So you block him. In doing it this way you get closure, control everything and deny him the ability to drag it out or deliver a final dig.

  • Like 1
Posted
*Forgot to add, he knew beforehand I had a zero tolerance policy for cheaters, and that if I caught him in a lie it was over.

 

So then what's this three weeks "to think it over" thing all about then? This seemed unnecessarily dragged out.

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Posted (edited)
So then what's this three weeks "to think it over" thing all about then? This seemed unnecessarily dragged out.

 

That's my fault Blanco. At the time this happened I was at his place, in another state. I should have left, but I stuck it out because i didn't want to pay additional money for a flight back home. I felt stuck there for a couple of days and was emotionally distraught. I should have broken up with him then and there but I was fearful to an extent because I didn't want to make matters worse. The day I was set to leave, he also had to leave for 3 weeks. Either way I'd have that time without him contacting me to analyze it all.

Edited by HorseLuck
Posted

I am sorry this happened to you.. that is horrible. I think these 3 weeks of no contact will be a good opportunity for you to start healing. I think it might help you to send a quick final text telling him it's over, that might help finalise everything. Break ups are damn hard. The last thing you want to do is spend 3 weeks thinking it over and have him come back and try to win you over. The fact that you werent able to break it off that night, I really wouldn't recommend a phone call or seeing him as it gives him a chance to get back in.

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Posted
I am sorry this happened to you.. that is horrible. I think these 3 weeks of no contact will be a good opportunity for you to start healing. I think it might help you to send a quick final text telling him it's over, that might help finalise everything. Break ups are damn hard. The last thing you want to do is spend 3 weeks thinking it over and have him come back and try to win you over. The fact that you werent able to break it off that night, I really wouldn't recommend a phone call or seeing him as it gives him a chance to get back in.

 

Yes BrightNight, tonight is one of those nights I wish he could feel the emotional rollercoaster I've had to deal with while he gets to escape on a ship. Perfect timing for him to be a d*ck. I don't intend on neither. There are moments where I'm upset and feel like i need to say one more thing, but i know it won't solve anything.

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