chanel003 Posted December 2, 2016 Posted December 2, 2016 I dont know where to begin. Matched with him on Tinder. We texted for 3 weeks till we met since i was out of the city. We'd text everyday and found we have a lot in common. So we go on first date and its great. He's always complimenting me and seem very very infatuated by me. After the date he's still super infatuated even thorugh text, wanting to take me places ect.. So we have a second date and still great. Again he's telling me hes excited to see me and even decided to stop using Tinder since we met. Well 3rd date comes around and he's telling me about couple places he wants to take me since i havent been there. We leave dinner and go back to his place with a little make out, he wanted more make out sessions but i kinda stopped it afterwards. So we talk for a while and afterwards i leave and he gets me an Uber and he kissed me good night and kept calling me a pet name haha. Also he's never been to my place. So im in uber and tell the driver to stop 1km before the actual destination since there are different ways to get in my condo and i know a shortcut. So now my date is txting if im home allright and i say yes THEN asks why i stopped at a strange location. Basically the uber driver messed up and instead of stopping at my adress , she ended up putting on the map that she left me at another location about 30 min from my place. Basically an error with her map. I didnt realize this till my date screenshot the map and sent it to me with "sure ;)". I replied with "???, is that real!" and "talk to the uber driver and she'll tell you im right ;)" then BAMN he never replied back and this was on sunday. So monday i send him a txt and he ignores it and now its Thursday. What is going on? He went from super super into me to non-existent. I feel so let down right now. Do i let it be or text explaining that it was indeed uber's fault. I'm 24 and he's 29.
Arieswoman Posted December 2, 2016 Posted December 2, 2016 chanel1003, Red flag alert ++++ I didnt realize this till my date screenshot the map and sent it to me with "sure ". ^^^ This is controlling behaviour. There is a difference between being concerned for your welfare and micro-managing your life. It's none of his d@mn business if you want to get out at Skid Row, you told him you were OK and he should accept that. You dodged a bullet. Just thank your lucky stars you never slept with this weirdo and move on 5
TheTraveler Posted December 2, 2016 Posted December 2, 2016 I didnt realize this till my date screenshot the map and sent it to me with "sure ". I replied with "???, is that real!" and "talk to the uber driver and she'll tell you im right ;)" then BAMN he never replied back and this was on sunday. So monday i send him a txt and he ignores it and now its Thursday. What is going on? He went from super super into me to non-existent. I feel so let down right now. Do i let it be or text explaining that it was indeed uber's fault. I'm 24 and he's 29. that is hardcore. 1. He wanted to escalate to sex. You refused 2. He wonders why??? And this is his proof MOVE ON 2
Author chanel003 Posted December 2, 2016 Author Posted December 2, 2016 chanel1003, Red flag alert ++++ ^^^ This is controlling behaviour. There is a difference between being concerned for your welfare and micro-managing your life. It's none of his d@mn business if you want to get out at Skid Row, you told him you were OK and he should accept that. You dodged a bullet. Just thank your lucky stars you never slept with this weirdo and move on oh no that came out wrong. Even on previous dates he'd always told me to text him when I'm home safe (night time) and well this time he got me uber he asked if i got home and everything was ok since Uber said i ended the journey early. I said yes its all good i stopped early to take a shortcut BUT the map showed that i was 30min away
winny Posted December 2, 2016 Posted December 2, 2016 There is nothing to explain. You can get down anywhere you want.. that's not his business. I think he has moved on since sex didn't happen on 3rd date. Else he would have kept contact. 2
MarkIVSteel Posted December 2, 2016 Posted December 2, 2016 Here thought you were going to see another guy. You have to see things from his perspective. He doesn't know that you just took a shortcut. To him, it just looks like you went to another person's house, most likely a man. I'm not saying you did but that's what it would look like to him. He has decided to just forget about you and date other women. 2
VeveCakes Posted December 2, 2016 Posted December 2, 2016 Here thought you were going to see another guy. You have to see things from his perspective. He doesn't know that you just took a shortcut. To him, it just looks like you went to another person's house, most likely a man. I'm not saying you did but that's what it would look like to him. He has decided to just forget about you and date other women. Not at all....I agree with the others this is controlling behavior. Screen shotting your Uber to question where you got off? After three dates? Ya no.... 6
MarkIVSteel Posted December 2, 2016 Posted December 2, 2016 Not at all....I agree with the others this is controlling behavior. Screen shotting your Uber to question where you got off? After three dates? Ya no.... He was able to get a screenshot because he paid for it. Controlling behavior would be telling her where to go. This is a woman wm he just met. She told him she had gotten home. Her Uber location showed her at a different place. He called her out on what he thought was a lie. 4
winny Posted December 2, 2016 Posted December 2, 2016 Here thought you were going to see another guy. You have to see things from his perspective. He doesn't know that you just took a shortcut. To him, it just looks like you went to another person's house, most likely a man. I'm not saying you did but that's what it would look like to him. He has decided to just forget about you and date other women. If he did that then he is really insecure I would say and making assumptions without knowing anything. At this point he shouldn't be sending screenshots and trying to behave like -- oh I know all about your movement.... its stalkerish and creepy and controlling. Although I do agree that might be his motivation for being uninterested now. 1
Mrin Posted December 2, 2016 Posted December 2, 2016 If he did that then he is really insecure I would say and making assumptions without knowing anything. At this point he shouldn't be sending screenshots and trying to behave like -- oh I know all about your movement.... its stalkerish and creepy and controlling. Although I do agree that might be his motivation for being uninterested now. The screenshot was kinda stalkerish but honestly I would have nexted her too given the information at hand. Not sure if this helps OP but if you're in Russia... Getting lost near the Kremlin? Russia could be 'GPS spoofing' - Dec. 2, 2016 1
ChatroomHero Posted December 2, 2016 Posted December 2, 2016 He's very insecure, that is the long and short of it. If you want to deal with someone that questions where you are, what time you left, where you are going...all the time, fine. Otherwise I would bail on someone like that. He was setting you up by tracking you on Uber and specifically asking if you got home. Insecure, stalker...drop him. 1
KatZee Posted December 2, 2016 Posted December 2, 2016 He prob just wanted easy sex. He was blowing smoke up your as$ from day one. Saying he was deleting Tinder after date two? Get outta here. :lmao: He tried to get physical, you didn't put out (rightfully so, you don't even know this guy), and he's moving onward to something easier. Guys who only want sex don't have the attention span, cash, or the interest in wining and dining women for any lengthy period of time. He realized he wasn't getting any, and that's that. Also, really weird that people would say he was just assuming you were meeting up with another guy. 1. So what if you were? You aren't/weren't his girlfriend so you had zero obligation to him whatsoever, and 2. Anyone that runs on assumptions, and acts on assumptions, just sounds like an idiot. People need to communicate and not just live in whatever fantasy plays in their head. 2
OatsAndHall Posted December 2, 2016 Posted December 2, 2016 Just run..... I don't care if the guy's intentions were innocent or not during the dates but he is actually paying attention to your current location... That's really kind of disturbing. That's not just controlling behavior, that's "it put's the lotion in the basket" kind of crap. 1
Lansing Posted December 3, 2016 Posted December 3, 2016 Wow, I am surprised there is only one guy defending this guy. Personally, if someone told me they were going home and I paid for their ride with Uber (I don't use it) and I see they didn't end up at home I wouldn't be sure what to make out of it either and would think that maybe the person is lying to me and isn't really into me. Was this location 30 minutes further away from you? Maybe the driver kept on driving and didn't end the ride until later which meant that this guy you were dating also got charged more? Again, I don't use uBer but recall reading something about this type of scam from uBer drivers before. 2
joseb Posted December 3, 2016 Posted December 3, 2016 When I read this first I thought it was indeed odd behaviour, but thinking about it from his perspective I can see why he might have reacted like that. You go back to his place (which I personally don't advise unless you want to have sex tbh - making out in private is for teenagers), made out, get a bit horny, he pays for your uber home and then has pretty clear proof that you went to another location - I think it's not unreasonable to think that you are going to another guy you know, an ex or a FB, especially if it's late and you are saying you are going home but uber says something very different. 4
bachdude Posted December 3, 2016 Posted December 3, 2016 Sometimes people are just geeky about technology and if they paid for a screenshot they will look at it. I have the app Flight Radar and I like to follow different flights of family and friends. It doesn't mean I am controlling. My reaction is that he assumed you lied about your location and he bailed. 1
bene Posted December 3, 2016 Posted December 3, 2016 Sometimes people are just geeky about technology and if they paid for a screenshot they will look at it. I have the app Flight Radar and I like to follow different flights of family and friends. It doesn't mean I am controlling. Keyword being "family and friends", not a stranger who you've seen three times in your life... I get it, we all look up our dates' FB profiles and whatnot but not knowing the boundaries what information to flaunt to their face is the red flag. 1
MarkIVSteel Posted December 3, 2016 Posted December 3, 2016 So much shaming from the women as expected. "Creepy, controlling, insecure etc". He PAID for the ride which means the app shows him the current location of the ride. She told him she was home but the tracker showed something completely different so of course he would think she was lying. I'm not saying she was lying but with the knowledge available to him and from his own perspective, he would think she was lying. 4
ElizabethIII Posted December 3, 2016 Posted December 3, 2016 (edited) He was able to get a screenshot because he paid for it. Controlling behavior would be telling her where to go. This is a woman wm he just met. She told him she had gotten home. Her Uber location showed her at a different place. He called her out on what he thought was a lie. And he made himself look very silly. One of my closest friends lives on a road that is closed to cars. You cant drive down it. So an uber to her home once showed me as getting out several streets away. Maybe you dont want someone having your real address and give another and get out at the real address not realising uber will tell where you actually went. Edited December 3, 2016 by ElizabethIII 2
Shining One Posted December 3, 2016 Posted December 3, 2016 Maybe you dont want someone having your real address and give another and get out at the real address not realising uber will tell where you actually went.Wouldn't it make logical sense to just get your own Uber if you don't want someone else having your address? 1
ElizabethIII Posted December 3, 2016 Posted December 3, 2016 Wouldn't it make logical sense to just get your own Uber if you don't want someone else having your address? If someone offered to pay then no. I'd take a free uber. 2
OatsAndHall Posted December 3, 2016 Posted December 3, 2016 (edited) So much shaming from the women as expected. "Creepy, controlling, insecure etc". He PAID for the ride which means the app shows him the current location of the ride. She told him she was home but the tracker showed something completely different so of course he would think she was lying. I'm not saying she was lying but with the knowledge available to him and from his own perspective, he would think she was lying. Okay, I'll take the high road and assume that he stumbled on the Uber app and wasn't actually using it to "track her". He shoots her a text, asks her if she made it home alright and she tells him she has. So, he either trusts he response or not. He's being pretty paranoid if he's shooting her a SS of the Uber location and asking for an explanation. Versus just saying "okay, g'night, (inset smiley face or some sh-t)" and move on. It's not like he's going get any other kind of response if there was something weird going on. In his shoes, I would find it odd but would just keep my trap shut, date her a few more times and see where things went. He'd probably would have figured out WHY she was dropped off at a different location within the next couple of dates. I've found that it doesn't take dating someone long before you figure out what kind of person they are. I'm a little bit spooky on this subject as I dated a woman for awhile who became super controlling and strange. I texted back and forth with her before work one afternoon and came home sick. She texted me and said, "why aren't you at work?" She'd been using the "friends nearby" app on Facebook to keep track of where I was. It scared the sh-t out of me. That began a bad roller coaster that eventually involved me calling the police. Edited December 3, 2016 by OatsAndHall 1
NuevoYorko Posted December 3, 2016 Posted December 3, 2016 Here thought you were going to see another guy. You have to see things from his perspective. He doesn't know that you just took a shortcut. To him, it just looks like you went to another person's house, most likely a man. I'm not saying you did but that's what it would look like to him. The fact that it would even occur to him that this could be any of his business puts this firmly in the "serious bullet dodged" category. Scary. 4
elaine567 Posted December 3, 2016 Posted December 3, 2016 Technology has allowed all sorts of stalkerish tendencies to be viewed as the norm by some. Whether she was seeing a friend, colleague, another guy or her sick grandma, or just felt like walking part of the way, was not really his business after only 3 dates. BUT he did pay for the Uber, so basically if he paid for a trip that took 30 mins longer than anticipated, then he is not going to be happy about that, hence I see the need to send the screenshot. His mistake was to basically accuse you of lying and refusing to listen when you tried to explain and then not checking with Uber, like a calm sensible person would have done. He sounds a bit insecure and hot headed. I guess he was none too happy about you not having sex with him and then this confusion. He concluded you were messing him about... 2+2=5 3
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