winny Posted December 2, 2016 Posted December 2, 2016 Fair enough. I could see how you interpreted what I wrote as me seeking only younger women. Maybe a little. But when I contrast OLD versus IRL, my takeaway is that people ONLINE place WAY too much importance on superficial nonsense. They filter by age online (and a ton of other nonsense), which IRL they wouldn't. It's consistent with all the other behavior patterns I've observed with OLD. I've repeated over and over that I think over-analyzing profiles is worthless other than for scanning for a few deal breakers. There are so many people here on LS that spend hours updating their profile and scrutinizing other profiles before they agree to a first date yet they've been on 100+ online dates and are still single. Obviously it's not working... Age never mattered to me one bit until I noticed how meaningless it was IRL but so important with OLD... So basically you are unable to put your youthful looks into full use online hence you are finding faults with OLD.... ha ha ha 5
Author CryForNoOne Posted December 2, 2016 Author Posted December 2, 2016 Just out of curiousity, how long did each of them stick around after finding out your chronological age? You broke up with someone in April, and I'm assuming you've gone out with the five young ones since then? The one I broke up with was 26 when I met her and I was 41. We were together 3 years and have a 2 year old daughter. Next was a 33 year old I met on Tinder in February. I reconciled with my ex shortly thereafter so we didn't hookup immediately but I knew she liked me. When things ended for good with my ex we dated for a couple months. She dumped me because she just wanted casual sex and I wanted monogamy. Next was a 30 year old I met at a bar. We hooked up first date and dated about a month until we both mutually did a slow fade. Then I went on a date with a 28 year old I met at a bar but wasn't interested. Then I took a break from women for 3 months. Now I'm about to go on a date with a 26 year old.
winny Posted December 2, 2016 Posted December 2, 2016 And what the heck is "perceived age" ???? You are your age. Period. Accept it you are 44... !!! And that many women dont want to date someone 15 years older... and thanks to OLD they get to filter out people on age, height, body type... makes it much easier.... who cares about someone whose "perceived age" is 20 years less than their real age. The real age is a fact... thats all that matters. And all the other women in real life... didn't take informed decision when they agreed to go out with you... poor girls. 2
Author CryForNoOne Posted December 2, 2016 Author Posted December 2, 2016 So you have all these hotties under 30 and it isnt hard. And yet here is this thread! Reread my original post. I wasn't complaining about my situation. Just shared my observations and opinions on the matter.
winny Posted December 2, 2016 Posted December 2, 2016 Hard? Huh? Those are the only women I've dated recently and it's not because I seek them out. How many of them knew your real age when they agreed to go out with you? How many of them do you think would go out with you on a first date if they knew how old you actually were?
Author CryForNoOne Posted December 2, 2016 Author Posted December 2, 2016 And what the heck is "perceived age" ???? You are your age. Period. Accept it you are 44... !!! And that many women dont want to date someone 15 years older... and thanks to OLD they get to filter out people on age, height, body type... makes it much easier.... who cares about someone whose "perceived age" is 20 years less than their real age. The real age is a fact... thats all that matters. And all the other women in real life... didn't take informed decision when they agreed to go out with you... poor girls. Perceived age is: about 5 years ago a solicitor knocked on my front door and when I opened he asked "Are you mom and dad home?" He gave me an easy out and I answered "No" and he left. I guess if you never lived it, you wouldn't get it. When I was 25 people thought I was 15...
Author CryForNoOne Posted December 2, 2016 Author Posted December 2, 2016 How many of them knew your real age when they agreed to go out with you? How many of them do you think would go out with you on a first date if they knew how old you actually were? The only one who didn't know my real age was my baby momma. Everyone since I've gone out of my way to tell them my age and that I have a daughter either when we meet or first date. No point wasting both of time.
MidwestUSA Posted December 2, 2016 Posted December 2, 2016 The one I broke up with was 26 when I met her and I was 41. We were together 3 years and have a 2 year old daughter. Next was a 33 year old I met on Tinder in February. I reconciled with my ex shortly thereafter so we didn't hookup immediately but I knew she liked me. When things ended for good with my ex we dated for a couple months. She dumped me because she just wanted casual sex and I wanted monogamy. Next was a 30 year old I met at a bar. We hooked up first date and dated about a month until we both mutually did a slow fade. Then I went on a date with a 28 year old I met at a bar but wasn't interested. Then I took a break from women for 3 months. Now I'm about to go on a date with a 26 year old. So, none of them turned into LTRs. I guess the answer to your question depends on what you're looking for. Short flings, or a meaningful, monagamous relationship. 1
Author CryForNoOne Posted December 2, 2016 Author Posted December 2, 2016 So, none of them turned into LTRs. I guess the answer to your question depends on what you're looking for. Short flings, or a meaningful, monagamous relationship. 3 years and a child together is not an LTR???
winny Posted December 2, 2016 Posted December 2, 2016 Perceived age is: about 5 years ago a solicitor knocked on my front door and when I opened he asked "Are you mom and dad home?" He gave me an easy out and I answered "No" and he left. I guess if you never lived it, you wouldn't get it. When I was 25 people thought I was 15... I know exactly what you mean bcoz... I get it a lot too... People think I am 8-10 years younger than my age!! And as soon as they do, I immediately correct them. Not use it to fool them. I never even thought of it this way... LOL.. in fact I take it in a very different way and I tell them that I look my age its just that others look older than their age. I do however know a woman who gets super happy when she gets asked for ID card when entering bars... as if she actually is 16 for the next few mins... and she proudly declares how everyone thinks she is such a baby...ROFL...it is so funny and it just shows how insecure you are about who you actually are... nothing else.
MidwestUSA Posted December 2, 2016 Posted December 2, 2016 (edited) 3 years and a child together is not an LTR??? Barely. Is that your longest? Did you stay together simply because you had a kid at the one year mark? The fact that you refer to her as baby momma is pretty telling. Edited December 2, 2016 by MidwestUSA 4
Author CryForNoOne Posted December 2, 2016 Author Posted December 2, 2016 I know exactly what you mean bcoz... I get it a lot too... People think I am 8-10 years younger than my age!! And as soon as they do, I immediately correct them. Not use it to fool them. I never even thought of it this way... LOL.. in fact I take it in a very different way and I tell them that I look my age its just that others look older than their age. I do however know a woman who gets super happy when she gets asked for ID card when entering bars... as if she actually is 16 for the next few mins... and she proudly declares how everyone thinks she is such a baby...ROFL...it is so funny and it just shows how insecure you are about who you actually are... nothing else. I appreciate everything else you said but the bold comment. Why does everyone assume I'm somehow trying to hide my age? I'm not! I learned many years ago from a older and wiser guy friend that the best way to not make something a liability or weakness is to take complete ownership of it. I have a 2 year old daughter and instead of waiting 3-5 dates to mention it, the first thing I do I announce when I'm seeing her next and show off pictures of her. Similarly, I love having people guess my age and breaking out my ID and see their reactions...
Author CryForNoOne Posted December 2, 2016 Author Posted December 2, 2016 Barely. Is that your longest? Did you stay together simply because you had a kid at the one year mark? The fact that you refer to her as baby momma is pretty telling. No my longest relationship is 12 years. From age 23 to 41 I dated 2 women. Why is that telling?
Erik30 Posted December 2, 2016 Posted December 2, 2016 I just knew this was going to be about someone looking younger than their actual age. That age difference is pretty big, so I get why some women won't go for it. Especially girls in their twenties will probably think over forty is really old, so that's why online might not be working for you. Their age range is mostly guys who are also in their 20s to mid 30s. So your age almost immediately disqualifies you for them. Or they think you must be using fake/old pictures. IRL might be different for you because those women already had an impression of you as a younger guy before they found out. Yes you look younger, but they can't just dismiss your age when they want to settle down in the future, and they might assume you come with a lot of bagage because of your actual age. 1
Author CryForNoOne Posted December 2, 2016 Author Posted December 2, 2016 Did you stay together simply because you had a kid at the one year mark? No it's now been almost 4 years since we met. The baby was 1 when we broke up. So your snarky assumption is wrong...
MissCongeniality Posted December 2, 2016 Posted December 2, 2016 What I find aggravating is I actually look younger than I actually am. You will not believe the number of times I've had trouble because of this. On the plus side it means I don't have to worry about losing my good looks for a while.
elaine567 Posted December 2, 2016 Posted December 2, 2016 I think real age is more important for a LTR and an age difference of 18 years as in your latest conquest is a pretty big gap. Looks are only superficial and for someone to date their "dad", it either shows a degree of immaturity or some deeper psychological issues, or she just loves the wealth, power, status that often older men bring. None of those reasons make for healthy dynamics. So whilst it may do your ego the world of good, the chances of this developing into a real relationship and lasting the course are pretty slim. One, she is in her twenties and will probably want to play the field for a bit longer, and two, if she does start to think long term, the age gap will begin to sink in and to grind. Once she realizes that in her 50's you will be in your 70s and she starts to think what that really means, then it is probably all over. If you want flings until your baby face loses its attraction then fine, but if you want real relationships then you need to change your MO. 4
Popsicle Posted December 2, 2016 Posted December 2, 2016 In my experience, as a single woman in her 40's, it's been my perceived age that appears to be more important.
GorillaTheater Posted December 2, 2016 Posted December 2, 2016 This is the internet. We all look younger than we really are, just ask us. 6
LookAtThisPOst Posted December 2, 2016 Posted December 2, 2016 This is the internet. We all look younger than we really are, just ask us. Believe it or not, I had a woman that wasn't convinced that my stated age IN my profile was actually 44 (like the OP), she was like 41 and she thought I looked like 10 years older. Um...yeah, imagine finding out from someone else you look OLDER than your perceived age.
bachdude Posted December 2, 2016 Posted December 2, 2016 CryForNoOne, you don't have to be so politically correct here. You owe no one here a justification for dating younger women. A man's motives will be considered immediately suspect by many women for dating a younger woman. Many women will not accept that your dating younger women could be for anything substantial. It's sad really. 4
VeveCakes Posted December 2, 2016 Posted December 2, 2016 CryForNoOne, you don't have to be so politically correct here. You owe no one here a justification for dating younger women. A man's motives will be considered immediately suspect by many women for dating a younger woman. Many women will not accept that your dating younger women could be for anything substantial. It's sad really. It is just because those at 25-28 are at a totally different place than someone who is 44. My perceived age is always 10 years younger than I actually am, and I am 33. A lot of younger guys are attracted to me and I am usually attracted to them more too (Physically, it seems the guys my age that are single dont care about their appearance). I run horse shows on my farm and soooo many people give me that "oh this is your place ??? I thought it was your parents...". Im like....I'm not 18.... Thing is, when these boys come hang out with me, see my cute farm, see me go off to work, with horses and two vehicles etc. My not getting obliterated drunk every weekend and having responsibilities...the reality of my age sinks in with them. Ends up being a big ol waste of time. So really, age doesnt matter but what does matter is where they are and what they want in life. 1
Imajerk17 Posted December 2, 2016 Posted December 2, 2016 (edited) CryForNoOne, you don't have to be so politically correct here. You owe no one here a justification for dating younger women. A man's motives will be considered immediately suspect by many women for dating a younger woman. Many women will not accept that your dating younger women could be for anything substantial. It's sad really. I agree with this. As long as these are two consenting adults and no one is being lied to, I'm not seeing the issue others seem to be having w CryForNoOne's choices either. He seems to be happy w the way his dating life is going, that's what really matters, so good for him. Edited December 2, 2016 by Imajerk17 2
JustGettingBy Posted December 2, 2016 Posted December 2, 2016 Keep in mind the following with perceived age: Two people will perceive someone's age differently, and its subjective. If someone perceives your age as 25, someone else might perceive it at 50. Also, perceived age can vary within a few days. Clean shaven, people wonder whether or not I'm even 18. A few days of no shaving, I can look about 30.
selinaluv Posted December 2, 2016 Posted December 2, 2016 I agree with this. As long as these are two consenting adults and no one is being lied to, I'm not seeing the issue others seem to be having w CryForNoOne's choices either. He seems to be happy w the way his dating life is going, that's what really matters, so good for him. This is totally true. I think the confusion comes in when he states perceived age should be taken into more consideration in his opening post, when he doesn't seem to do the same on his end. He wants the consideration from women to view his age as just a number and claims people can be superficial online because of age, yet almost all his recent dates have been 10-15 years younger. Also understandable, but then says he would prefer to date someone his own age, but it does not appear he has done so very much. Why not approach more women closer to his age in real life? 2
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