Tuna010 Posted December 1, 2016 Posted December 1, 2016 I met a great guy (Well i thought was great at the time) I fell for him straight away (which i never do) and thought for sure he was the one for me and he said the same too me and everything was great then the problems started when my ex bf found out i had a new bf (we'd broken up in May and tried to stay friends but he always had hope id go back to him) anyway he found out and started sending text saying "he wants to die etc" i blocked him on everything but he kept ringing private and saying same thing and my new bf started getting a bit paranoid. Fast forward a month of not hearing from my ex and now my new bf got so paranoid I was cheating and started checking my phone (which i let him) Checking my draws, checking my sheets, asking for call logs, then added my ex on fb to ask him if we were together, my ex rang him and said "I haven't spoken to her in months, she's blocked me on everything, why are you so paranoid, she's not the cheating type" and i was like "phew see everything i told you checks out" but then he was crying convinced I was sleeping with my ex still and he is controlling me and I'm too nice to escape it and that once i admitted it we could work through it (i can't admit to something i haven't done) Then he said if i can't admit it he will leave me and he did and i let him go. Then the next day he rang my mum dad and brother (I'm 30) saying that he's worried for my safety because my ex is controlling me. Then he sent me message saying he was so sorry and that he is getting counselling and going back on medication and he will change when i get back ill see (he smokes weed) so then then i replied saying "i hope so blah blah blah" next thing i know he's back saying I'm with my ex and he knows whats going on and hell save me from it and well get through it, then ring my mum again saying he's worried that I'm not at work and I'm with the ex and he's the one who's typing the msg (I was at work) Anyway after 10 days away i get back hoping he will be better (He said he's going on medication) and then i get back and he's sending me photos of my ex saying he's surprised my ex is letting me talk to him still and to let him know when I'm allowed to see him so we can talk etc and he loves me and wants to be with me...so he was no better at all! He wouldn't talk to me on the phone would only see me if I could give him a whole day to see him and i won't hear from him again till i give him a day, which i just wanted to talk to him first and see how he sounded but he wouldn't answer his phone, in the end i said "its over you won't talk to me i can't help this anymore and removed our relationship from fb and told him to get his stuff when i was at work or id chuck it" anyway haven't heard from him since (That was friday) Im so devastated just like WTF happened??? I thought we had something so good and it just blew up in my face! He kept warning me a week before that he was getting stressed and stress wasn't good for him and he had to look after his mental health etc and he said when i met him he didn't drink and wed had a few 6 packs i don't know if something triggered off in him or what...Im just so hurt because I adored him and would of never cheated. How do i get over this?
MrBojangles Posted December 1, 2016 Posted December 1, 2016 You've just dodged a major bullet is what just happened!.. IMO. Be thankful this guy revealed himself to be a total 'WHACK' job, before you invested months, or possibly years of your life in a relationship with him. It sounds like he's not mentally in a good place, to be in a relationship right now. Reread your own post and see how disturbing his actions sound. This guy sounds like a total mess, and you should not spend a second more of your life trying to analyze his behavior. 5
Survivor12 Posted December 1, 2016 Posted December 1, 2016 Yikes!!!! Forget about seeing or talking to him. Either send his stuff to him or have a friend drop it off, and if he continues contacting you or your family, file an order of protection. His escalation is frightening. Be smart--and stay safe. 1
Author Tuna010 Posted December 2, 2016 Author Posted December 2, 2016 Yeh it was all so weird, re reading it back does make me see it more clearly for what it is. I haven't even put all of the details in there. He would also get annoyed if he saw me active on messenger and i wasn't talking to him he'd accuse me of talking to other guys and also if i sent a message instead of ring him he'd sometimes get offended that I didn't want to talk. He also woke me up in the middle of the night once to ask if "I feel guilt?" There was many red flags I guess I was trying to look past because I loved him (not what he turned into) he also kept sending messages saying "he liked playing games". I feel like it has messed me up so much in the short time I was with him its done my head in. Hearing everyone opinions helps heaps even just writing it out helps a lot. 2
ExpatInItaly Posted December 2, 2016 Posted December 2, 2016 You thought you had something so good with this guy? OP, re-read what you wrote. He sounds like a controlling, manipulative loon. Your relationship doesn't sound like it was healthy at all. Neither of these men is stable. You are much better off without them in your life. 1
Recommended Posts