Michelle ma Belle Posted December 2, 2016 Posted December 2, 2016 Listen, the bottom line here is that YOU don't feel comfortable with any of this. That's all the info you need to make a decision. Your gut is rarely wrong. Period. Going back and forth about whether or not his level of secrecy regarding his career is valid or not is pointless if your gut stopped you dead in your tracks with the 'alpha male' comment. Personally, having done OLD off and on for several years and having met all sorts of characters, anyone leading with a strong sexually charged tone right out of the gates while still remaining aloof regarding all other aspects about themselves and their life should say a lot about their true character and what they're really after. Tread carefully. 2
spiderowl Posted December 3, 2016 Posted December 3, 2016 (edited) On dating site, any adult would be wise not to say too much about their jobs, other than maybe something general - e.g. manager in retail, or accounts officer. Saying where you work is not a good idea - gives potential stalkers a way to find you. Having said that, it depends whether you have met and got to know each other better. If you haven't met yet, then what you need to know is whether what he says is consistent and truthful. If you start to feel at any point that things are not 'adding up' because of inconsistencies, then be wary. Only meet in a public place. Do not give out your surname, workplace or home address. A first meeting is another opportunity to guage who you are meeting. Ideally, by this stage you are both getting on really well and building trust in small ways. It seems to me your gut is trying to tell you something. Maybe he seems overly evasive and defensive, not so much to protect himself from possible stalkers but perhaps because he is already married or something. In my experience of chatting to guys from online dating, most are actually quite forthcoming because they are not as afraid for their safety as women are. Whether this is wise or not is another matter; the point is that it is relatively unusual for them to be very cagey. If I feel that a guy is hiding something, he probably is. In cases like that, I have challenged the guy and asked him directly "are you attached?" While many will be evasive about an existing relationship, most would rather not lie. Trust your instincts whatever they are telling you. Edited December 3, 2016 by spiderowl
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