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My G/F is not as feminine anymore - What can I do to change that?


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Posted

 

If you are giving her coupons , vouchers etc to get herself pampered and she is not using them, then something is seriously wrong

 

You know that pampering come in many shapes and forms, yes? If I'm going to be on a table, let it be some physio. Forget the fancy facials and manicures and waxing, I want something to actually make me feel better.

 

I'd also rather go to the pub with the girls. Or be creating a new masterpiece. That's my idea of a pamper.

Posted
You know that pampering come in many shapes and forms, yes? If I'm going to be on a table, let it be some physio. Forget the fancy facials and manicures and waxing, I want something to actually make me feel better.

 

I'd also rather go to the pub with the girls. Or be creating a new masterpiece. That's my idea of a pamper.

 

I don't disagree but if it's affecting her relationship then , yes , she needs to step up.

Posted
I don't disagree but if it's affecting her relationship then , yes , she needs to step up.

 

Are you going to be financially supporting their family if she fails her med school assessments? Just making sure. ;)

  • Like 1
Posted
I don't think she should be expected to undergo it. I simply suggested that rather than continue haranguing her to shave her legs when she is so pressed for time, he instead offer her a gift card for laser. She could choose to decline and not use the card, but it seems like a better solution than continuing to do something that was causing both of them frustration.

 

(Obviously, the ideal solution is that he learn to accept a natural woman, but if that isn't going to happen...)

 

If he can't accept her as she is, he could offer to pay for her to have body permanently altered? I'd be really offended if a guy offered to gift me to having my body altered in some way.

  • Like 1
Posted
If he can't accept her as she is, he could offer to pay for her to have body permanently altered? I'd be really offended if a guy offered to gift me to having my body altered in some way.

 

Really? I wouldn't find it offensive if it was just a gift offer and he didn't throw a fuss if I declined. But to go with your example, if a woman wanted to encourage her man to shave his back or whatever, I don't think it would be offensive if she gave him a gift card for waxing or laser hair removal either.

Posted

OP, don't get married yet.

 

Read the replies and you will see how your gf is thinking.

 

But, you are not out of line.

Posted
I don't disagree but if it's affecting her relationship then , yes , she needs to step up.

 

It's so sad that a woman can't be deemed attractive by her husband without faking her appearance.

 

Out of curiosity, if you had limited spare time, would you choose to spend it on a beauty lounge?

  • Like 4
Posted
It's so sad that a woman can't be deemed attractive by her husband without faking her appearance.

 

Out of curiosity, if you had limited spare time, would you choose to spend it on a beauty lounge?

 

It's unfair to bring the ' women' card in. Even men go to salons !

 

If there was ( is ) anything that my wife wanted and it was important not just for her but for the relationship itself , then yes , I would make an effort to do it. I WILL find time and patience for it.

 

I'm done.

Posted
It's unfair to bring the ' women' card in. Even men go to salons !

 

If there was ( is ) anything that my wife wanted and it was important not just for her but for the relationship itself , then yes , I would make an effort to do it. I WILL find time and patience for it.

 

I'm done.

 

The OP is talking about his girl being more feminine. This is not a gender neutral topic. Why is the word "women" inappropriate when talking about female beauty expectations?

 

You may do whatever your wife wanted to make her happy. On the other hand, love my husband how he is.

  • Like 2
Posted

I don't think you are being unreasonable. You say she has lost her feminine touch and this is something that has happened over the past couple of years, so my response assumes she used to do these things. That makes it seem like she has gotten comfortable in the relationship, or she may even be depressed. (Could she possibly be depressed that you two have been together so long and you haven't proposed?)

 

I understand that she might be busy, but the things you are requesting are not that time consuming. It takes maybe five minutes to shave your legs in the shower, a couple of minutes to put on some mascara and lipstick, 30-60 minutes every couple of weeks for a manicure, a couple of hours every few months for a haircut/color. You're talking about an extra 10-15 minutes a day to make herself look nice. I don't get the impression that you are asking her to spend hours and hours putting on a full face of makeup or doing her hair.

 

I really think you need to have a discussion with her, but it is definitely a touchy subject. Maybe start by asking her if she's feeling depressed or down, and segway that into asking why she doesn't wear makeup or fix herself up anymore. Frame it that you are coming from a place of concern for her.

Posted

I don't really think this is a touchy subject, especially after so many years together.

 

I've gone through crunch times while in relationships. One ex once asked: "Honey, you've been so busy, I want to take you out. I only ask one thing, that you take time to pamper yourself before the date". I recall loving the request because the idea of taking time to pamper myself felt wonderful. I'd been too busy to allow myself that pamper time so it felt good to have a reason to do it.

Posted (edited)
I'd like my G/F of 10 years to be more feminine. She used to be, but has lost her feminine touch over the past couple of years. I feel almost ashamed to post this because I always had the mentality that looks dont matter, but for some reason this is really bothering me so I decided to post this here.

 

Maybe I'm just being a shallow jack ass, if so please put me in my place.

 

Background: I have been with G/F for about 10 years, we have a toddler aged child together.

 

I might be wrong, but I think this is all related to her confidence. There are some really intelligent guys and gals here, so looking for some insight.

 

Little about her... early 30s, finishing up her grad degree. Very Pretty. Very smart. Not overweight. Very bright future career wise. Great Mom.

 

Little about me... early 30s, stable successful career (although she will make more than me when she finishes school), I am a great dad, I would categorize myself as pretty fit, not six pack type but no gut either. I am not an 'Alpha' type I do not like confrontation so bringing this up to her is hard.

 

 

I think she is beautiful but but (here we go...) she doesn't take care of herself like (in my opinion) most other girls do and how she used to. For example, she only shaves her legs when someone other than me will see them (think beach/pool.) She never wears makeup. She never does her hair. She works/has clinicals at the hospital, so her attire is always scrubs almost 24/7. Haircuts, maybe once a year, never any color or pazazz. Toes/Nail, never done. Basically - not very feminine anymore.

 

All of this, over the course of years, is kinda making that flame burn a little dimmer. I am losing my physical attraction to her. Especially when I go to work, the mall, outside, hell even Walmart and I see, well, more 'effort' everywhere. I think effort implies confidence, and confidence is sexy. And who doesn't want sexy.

 

On the rare occasion she does do something, I try a lot of positive reinforcement. For example, if she shaves her legs, I make sure to give her (and them) lots of attention, compliments, how much I like it, etc... But it never lasts.

 

I have told her how much I enjoy shaved legs (I'm a leg guy) but she doesn't seem to care. I do 80%+ of the chores in the house, and I repeatedly tell her, if something needs to be done that I missed, tell me - I would rather have her 'clean herself up' than clean the house. I'm not talking get all 'Barbiefied' but, just a little something feminine. Is this too much of a request? Maybe shave 3 times a month? I would be thrilled with that.

 

She always gives the excuse that she doesn't have time. I know how hard grad school is, I see her working/studying daily, but I also see her on social media for sometimes hours a day. A request to shave her legs would take no longer than 10-15 min maybe? Instead, when I bring this up (and it's hard for me) I usually get huffed and puffed at and a sarcastic "go find an upgraded model" comment.

 

I think what hurts me the most is that if someone asks us to go to the beach, then she has no issues hopping in the shower and getting it done. But if I, who should be pretty much at the top of her important people list, request some smooth legs - I get baulked at.

 

This is not something the media/magazines/society has forced upon, it's just something that turns me on. There is just something about smooth legs, something about when a woman does her hair, even some red or whatever on her toes - it all exudes confidence and sexiness to me.

 

The above has surely taken it's toll on our sexlife. While not non-existent, definitely not what it used to be. Maybe 4-5 times a month. When we do have sex, I can tell she doesn't feel sexy - I go down on her, caress and kiss her whole body, I know she gets well turned on by how wet she gets, but it's still like something is missing - her confidence maybe?

 

I work in a professional environment. While I don't wear a suit, I am dressed nicely daily in business casual attire, trimmed, etc.

 

I tried buying her some clothes that I thought would look good to get her to dress up a bit (bad idea guys, don't try) and gift certificates to Spa/Nail places - They've been sitting in drawers for 3+ years.

 

Am I outta line?

 

a. take her shopping. go to mall buy clothes with her have try it

b. tell her the room is sexy room only...at nights at weekends...something to get her in the mood

c. stop comparing her to other women

d. love who she is as is

e. take her to the spa every two weeks, until she reforms the habit

f. bend her over, every so often, and "f" her in her natural looking condition. She is your gf with your baby

g. tell her to change her career, where she has to dress sexy for work everyday and any guy can look at her, as sex object, she would make less money, but she would look sexy

h. tell her to change to sexy career

i. maybe you dont look as sexy to her to make an effort, go to gym together.

j. dont gift give...give gift and show...dont buy spa gifts...take her to spa...both of you go get your nails done. She pedi and mani...you pedi and mani without painting your fingernails...

k. be cavalier about it

Edited by Caysey110504
Posted

She has more important priorities in her life now, her career and her child.

The hospital environment is not one where "femininity" is prized, it may even go against her.

She needs to be taken seriously, and women who go overboard on the make up, hair colour, manicures, pedicures will soon learn to tone it down if they want a good career in the working hospital environment.

If she spends time in scrubs then there is no need to enter any sort of competition with other women, no need to impress anyone with something as superficial as looks and cosmetics. She needs to impress her peers and superiors with her knowledge and skill, not with her red toe nails and lipstick.

At home her priority is to spend time with her kid.

I guess she simply sees such "beauty" things as fripperies, totally unimportant when she is dealing with life and death every day at her work and dealing with the needs of her child at home.

 

Making her shaved legs a bone of contention has turned her off no doubt. Women tend to like to be desired for themselves warts and all, women tend not to like being only desired if she wears the right things or shaves her legs... "love" to most women is unconditional and the idea of a woman not wanting sex with a man because his hair is messy or he has not shaved is somewhat alien.

The gift cards and the new clothes was a nice idea, but it was also a pretty obvious attempt to say - I ain't happy with the way you look, change it for me now - and that was never going to go down well.

Had you suggested frequent trips to the beach, date nights and fun things to do instead, then you may have been more successful in getting her to dress up and shave her legs.

Some women love going to the beautician, the hair dresser and buying clothes, I guess for your gf it is a chore at the moment.

So no amount of beauty gifts from you will persuade her otherwise.

 

I guess your gf is "pre-occupied", so either give her a break and re-assess once she is qualified and things may be less busy for her, or think deeply about why you are giving "shaved legs" so much importance.

 

I have a feeling you resent her career choice and the fact she is going to out-salary you in the long term is very unsettling. Most men would not like that.

 

Nitpicking about "femininity" I guess, is your mind's way of trying to put her back in the traditional female role as frankly you are upset about having to do 80% of the chores, and you know she will outrank you in the bread winner stakes too, so you see yourself as "second best" and you see nothing will change in the future either.

Some hard thinking needed here.

  • Like 2
Posted

If she was doing these things earlier in the relationship, but isn't now, then it's a negative sign for how she values the relationship. Yes, she may be busy and stressed, but she'll be more so if she loses her relationship by neglecting to nurture it in ways that matter to the OP.

  • Author
Posted

OP Here.

 

Wow - did not expect so much input from all various view points. Thank you so much, defintely some things I did not ruminate about.

 

I know she is busy, stressed, etc. - I am not and will not force her to do anything regarding her appearance, barring some extreme tattoos, piercings, green hair etc. that would be a huge turn off I could not live with. I am just looking for suggestions/hints on what to do to bring something that is sexy to me back in our relationship - after she graduates.

 

We had a long discussion before she entered her schooling program, I defintely do not resent her going back to school. I am extremely proud of her and I am honored that she placed her faith in me to 'run the show' by myself for the past 2 years. We moved, I was able to relocate my job, etc. I told her I support her 110% - Financially, Emotionally, anything that to make it easier for her. I wanted her to do this, she was unhappy at her previous job (ICU Nurse - very stressful) and this will be a great move for her. No, I did not force her to do this... She brought it up to me as something she wanted to do, I just offered my unconditional support.

 

She used to take pretty good care of herself, it diminished gradually. I am certain grad school has played a part. I dont want to have a 'serious talk' with her about this yet, she has a lot on her plate. Last thing she needs right now is to think she is losing her support base.

 

Like most have said, shaved legs are the least of her concerns right now. She graduates in a few months so I'll see how things go after that - I like the idea of doing some 'pampering' together instead of just 'buying' - I think she actually will like that. I just always thought that was a girl thing, but I have no problems partaking! I will try to think of more activities that require her to 'put in some effort' and see how she responds to that. Of course, after she graduates.

 

As for Laser Hair Removal - I would not expect her to do something like that for me. Financially it would be feasible but we defintely have other priorities (son's education for example) rather than hairless legs.

 

I do not want to 'fake her up' - She is still attractive the way she is, but she would be more attractive to me if she just got her ways back. I will wait for school to be over before bringing this up, once I figure out how to bring it up - some great suggestions here already.

 

Personally, I would have absolutely zero problems if I was told bluntly "Can you shave your back" or "I like this (certain type of hairstyle) on you" by my S/O. As a matter of fact, I would be thrilled to do something that was specifically asked of me to make myself more attractive to her. I would not look at this negatively as "go find someone else with a hairless back."

 

I know most women (at least in my experience) are different than that and (some) automatically assume I want them to 'be fake' or find them not attractive any it gets blown out of proportion. I wanted to see how others would approach this when it's time. Not being the confrontational type does not make it easier. I don't want her to turn into a Barbie... Just a little something... I dont know it's hard to explain I guess.

 

Thanks again Everyone.

 

 

When you look good, you feel good (at least I believe in this.) I'm not saying she looks bad whatsoever. But I do notice people who put some effort into their appearance tend to be more confident, sexy, just give off an overall more positive energy. I think not only would that really re-ignite the flame in our relationship, but her overall well-being as well.

  • Like 3
Posted

Op-

 

I think you need to be a little more honest with yourself. This has nothing to do with your wife's confidence (by that I mean you don't really care about that). Thats's merely your scapegoat.

 

Confidence is being able to go out somewhere, as is, and not give a flying fig what you look like. Yeah, you might get dolled up sometimes for work or special occasions or because you enjoy to. But self confidence does not come from looking good. It comes from being comfortable with who you are.

 

I understand missing the girl you first met. But people change. Priorities change. She hasn't gained weight and you didn't mention poor hygeine so that's good. And I am sure she will doll up for special occasions again when the stress of looming graduation is past. This may just be a season.

 

But back to being honest. You are doing some back peddeling, trying to appear the nice guy and less... shallow. But in your OP you stated you are losing your attraction for her.

 

Which means saying she is beautiful, and pretty and all that kinda falls flat if you don't find yourself attracted to her.

 

I'm wondering if this if you look great you feel great speil and confidence bit is actually your projection onto her. Or perhaps your ego is taking a hit not having that done up GF on your arms anymore. If you took a lot a pride in her done up looks before I can see where it would be hard to have a tired going to school mom of a toddler wife in a messy pony tail on your arm.

 

One day very soon she will start aging. Will you find yourself less attracted to her when her skin sags and her hair greys? Perhaps the missing thing during sex isn't all on her. Maybe it's on you.

 

Or maybe she is just tired and thats why you are having less sex and has nothing to do with her confidence.

Posted

I was one of the ones who suggested laser hair removal, and no, I didn't know that it didn't work with light hair. I guess that rules it out for me!

 

Of course it was just a suggestion, and only if she was interested in doing that. I assumed it went without saying that compulsion or even pressure was not part of the suggestion.

Posted

It's ridiculous for men and women in a relationship to demand unconditional love if they can't be bothered to look decent. Prioritizing physical attraction in a relationship is normal and the OP isn't asking for much. With respect to his girlfriend's profession and physical appearance, shaving her legs cannot possibly make her seem less professional because her legs will always be hidden by scrubs! :laugh: A medical professional with dyed hair will not be seen as some Barbie doll because nicely dyed hair looks groomed. The OP's girlfriend can always get a natural manicure with no polish or a french manicure.

 

A happy and healthy relationship is about compromise. I notice that men who post about issues in their relationships LS are often told that they need to give more or do more. That seems unfair and one sided to me. I hate the idea of someone using their commitments to let themselves go.

 

Where I live, it's typical to see moms who look very frumpy and they HATE the rare yummy mummies or women without kids who can take the time to look after themselves. It takes less than 30 mins to brush your hair and put some makeup on. I understand that pregnancy causes weight gain but there is no reason why a mom should still be fat when her child(ren) are six years old. I've met many moms in my area who say that they don't have time to exercise or put on makeup, yet they have all the time in the world for Facebook or church groups. We all make time for whatever is important to us.

 

The "love me as I am" rhetoric is idealistic but rarely the reality. Nobody wants to be with someone whom isn't nice to look at. Humans are visual creatures...especially men. These facts about human nature are unpleasant but they are the truth.

 

My husband always dressed very well when we were dating. After we got married, I noticed that he started to wear track pants all the time and he let his beard become unkempt. Polite requests to take care of his appearance were refused and he used money as an excuse not to buy clothes. When I mentioned sales, my husband refused to take advantage of them and that's when I knew that he just didn't care. All of that changed when I became very harsh with my husband about losing attraction to him. I also pointed out the efforts I made to look nice for both of us. When my husband saw how angry and frustrated I was, he went back to taking care of his appearance. Now he always looks well dressed unless we are relaxing at home and he's rocking the bald head and groomed goatee look like a boss. :love:

 

Couples who care about each other will look after themselves individually.

  • Like 1
Posted

I don't think it's a question of "femininity" and the fact that you've addressed it as such is probably causing some of the negative input you've gotten here.

 

I don't agree with the premise that nail polish, makeup, hair do's, shaving body hair, etc. have anything whatsoever to do with femininity.

 

On the other hand, I don't think there's anything negative about you wanting the woman in your life to make an effort to be attractive for you. There are ways of asking for it without going down the "you're not feminine enough" road, which will be a bad trip, I assure you.

 

Try to start with a pre-planned date night or better yet, a getaway weekend. Make sure it's to a "fancy" place where dressing up is required. Make sure she knows it's supposed to be ROMANTIC, and that you are going to some trouble to look good for it. If it's a bit out in the future, she'll have time to prepare for it and hopefully to look forward to it.

 

Both people need to take care of themselves and work a bit on being attractive to their partner, but in reality it sounds like she might be stretched to the max with life right now.

  • Like 1
Posted

Alrighty.. This post made me think some, so I'll be giving opinions on both sides, because I think I'm at the point as your girlfriend.

 

 

 

 

I have friends that go to nursing school. scrubs etc are worn daily. Some of the girls could maintain the well kept look better than others slowly stopped wearing make up, then rare moments they had makeup. Out of 10 of my friends that went through nursing school, only 2 kept wearing makeup all the time. You realize when you're running around a hospital you have to keep reapplying makeup because it rubs off or whatever. Then you have to keep your hair up to keep it out of the way. In a face pace workplace you can't really do that.

 

 

 

 

When you come home all you want to do is relax. Makeup is your last worry, and really why put on makeup when you plan to go out. Then showering between making dinner, getting the baby down for sleep, then getting the house together before going to sleep. That's a lot of work. So shaving legs is a second thought when you're in the shower and all you want to do is relax on the couch after a long day. Most girls like myself only wash our hair every 3-5 days, and live on dry shampoo.

I work 40 hours a week, have horses that I pay attention to (1-2 hours a day, then weekends I go to horse shows sometimes), have a 8 month old son, I cook meals every other night, and on top have a fiancé I have to keep happy. Let me tell you, it's HARD.

I put on make up today but I don't think I've put it on but maybe 2 times since Thanksgiving. Shaving my legs... Uhh don't remember the last time I did, but I think it was recent because its not bad. If I wanted smooth legs I would seriously have to shave EVERY DAY. I get cold and I get cactus legs.

My hair.. Oh man, it's been in a bun since Thanksgiving. Why do my hair for work, then have in blowing in my face while doing horse stuff, and go home so my son can pull on it. :p My weight is actually below what I was before I got pregnant, that was one thing I refused to let hang around, even though having my son I look at my body and see that its not what it was, it's a ego hit.

 

 

That being said, it's hard work being a female with a child, and keep up with your appearance. So many things going on, so many other things. You're gf doesn't realize that it means something to you for her to look nice? Have you tried going out on dates to nice places? Tell her she looks like she needs to have a day at the spa, and say it's because she looks stressed?

After seeing this I realized I've gotten hints from my guy, and maybe I need to start thinking about getting up 30 minutes early to do my makeup/hair every once in awhile...

 

 

It's a habit we need to get back into, just after having a baby the feeling of yourself being "hot" or "good looking" sort of goes down. Then you realize how easy it is just not to fix yourself up just to look pretty. For me, it's not depression or anything mentally wrong, but you get use to and enjoy getting those few extra Z's before a long day, realizing that no one really cares that you don't do your hair and makeup(besides are SO's that I learned today) .. Do I get dressed up to go out? yes and I feel great. Just when you're single and on the hunt, your comfort level changes, and yes if you broke up with her, she would start looking better again. LOL

Posted
Yeah, same here. I generally avoid shaving unless I'm sure I want to commit to doing it daily for the next couple of months at least (usually, during the summer) - the regrowth phase is really not worth it. :laugh: And skin irritation is an issue for many of us (though we don't know if OP's gf suffers from that). The vast majority of women I know don't keep their legs 100% smooth all the time, same with how lots of men don't keep their cheeks and chin baby-smooth all the time.

 

Knowing this, I purposefully select for men who don't care much about body hair on women, though (not just for this reason - I just tend to be more compatible with such men on principle). Fortunately I am with one such man. But if the OP's gf always knew he was a 'leg man', and chose to stay with him for so long and have a baby with him, then I don't really think he's at fault.

 

 

I dont really think hes at "fault" ether but he has to also consider that the women's working to better their lives together plus raseing that kid that takes alot of work and at least it shows she has some get up and go. your prob right they just have different priorities when it comes to such things its like a homebody dating a out on the towner might be ok at 1st but once the honey moon wears off its going to get old real quick..

 

these two have a kid to consider tho so eater they need to make a clean break now while hes young or try to mutually work thu it the suggestion of him getting the lazier removal was pretty much the best idea ive herd of even then unless he can be patient on the other stuff until shes not so full on things might still not work..i

 

Im with you im really glad my guy doesn't seam to care in fact he seams to like the "natural" kinda gal he thinks they are more genuine..go figure..lol

Posted
It's unfair to bring the ' women' card in. Even men go to salons !

 

If there was ( is ) anything that my wife wanted and it was important not just for her but for the relationship itself , then yes , I would make an effort to do it. I WILL find time and patience for it.

 

I'm done.

 

Only a cirtin kind of man spends any good amount of time in a "salon" most of the men ive known both growing up and as a adult have gotten home hair cuts.. heck ive given a lot of them not saying guys dont go get cheap cuts once in a while but yeah..the men im talking about when I say cirtin kind are the high mentance ones in jobs like the Ops..

 

Honestly tho end of the day I guess its all about priorities and making sure they line up some what evenly I dont really understand why in 10 years and a child later this is just now becoming a issue for this couple ether she was pretending for a long time or he just had the patients of a saint..makes one wonder if they dont have other deeper issues going on and this was just the trigger for him..

Posted

Your g/f is juggling serious studying, raised a toddler, dealing with your needs/demands, and is in a relationship with a guy who doesn't think enough of her to marry her?

 

I'd be fed-up, tired and depressed in that situation, and depilation would be the last thing on my mind. The poor girl must feel like she's on a treadmill. Time on social media

 

I was wondering when the correct answer was going to come up... here it is..

 

I totally agree..

 

She also might be dealing with some depression as well.. that treadmill feeling can do that and being the mom of a toddler...

  • Like 3
Posted

Sorry she has no time for you dude. This may be just a phase of taking care of a toodler, working and studying at the same time, but chances are things will get worse for you once her career takes off.

 

May as well make a positive out of it. SInce it seems you have too much time in your hands why don't you start getting busy yourself? You say you do 80% of the chores, how about 100%? Let your gf rely on you more and let yourself focus on things other than her appearance.

 

All that said I think your bond with your gf is not very strong as it should be after 10 years. You still give too much importance to the external qualities of her, when you should have come to appreciate the deeper complexity of her. What are the things that connect you to her other than how she looks? Also how do you envision your future with her? Do you see you and her growing old and ugly together?

  • Like 1
Posted

 

 

It's a habit we need to get back into, just after having a baby the feeling of yourself being "hot" or "good looking" sort of goes down. Then you realize how easy it is just not to fix yourself up just to look pretty. For me, it's not depression or anything mentally wrong, but you get use to and enjoy getting those few extra Z's before a long day, realizing that no one really cares that you don't do your hair and makeup(besides are SO's that I learned today) .. Do I get dressed up to go out? yes and I feel great. Just when you're single and on the hunt, your comfort level changes, and yes if you broke up with her, she would start looking better again. LOL

 

I mean, it is a sort of personality thing. I have always been a very feminine girl. So even after I had my daughter that never changed.

 

I was a single mom, no family close, was in grad school and worked and took care of my daughter on my own. And I still regularly had my legs waxed, put make-up on, did my hair and dressed up. It was my relaxing time at night when my daughter would be in bed or every morning when I'd get up at 5.30 and with my cup of coffee had my ''me'' time. I still do that.

 

OP, your girlfriend is clearly a person who finds these things way more laborious than enjoyable and she's probably always going to be like that. I don't know whether she feels perfectly comfortable being natural or she would like to dress up but simply can't seem to find the time to make herself do it.

 

If she truly is comfortable the way she is, being natural, I personally think it would be wrong to make her change it and push her into doing things she doesn't feel are ''her''. She may shave her legs for other people because she is bowing to the societal pressures, but with you she feels like she can be herself without judgment. That's a compliment actually.

 

If she actually wants to dress up, but simply finds it too much work and effort, then I suggest that you plan a weekend getaway for you two once she graduates. Somewhere nice and relaxing, with a spa and take her out to a fancy restaurant or club. She may just need a little push to remember how nice it feels to get dolled up.

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