OLD Question.

[Grey40]

Girls that want to "talk more first" before going out on a date with you. How do you handle this situation? I understand that OLD involves s lot of people that lie and there are creepers and everything so I get why girls want to talk more to know you're not a serial killer, but in my experience these types hardly ever meet up.

 

Is it worth my time to even try to build rapport and talk to girls that say this? I normally wait until we each have sent about 4-5 message each and then I ask her out, sometimes sooner than that. I've had girls agree and I've had many say "we just met?" Or "I need to talk to you more first".

 

I hate having to have small talk online for a week + to someone who' may or may not ever want to meet in person

[Sara1989]

As a woman I agree with you! I have had men who just want to be text buddies.

 

I think a couple of days of contact at the most and if they still refuse a date, forget and on to the next.

[Gaeta]

Depending on everyone's availability of course but I give it 5 days to meet, no more. My average was meeting within 3 days, never over 5.

 

If she wants to chit chat for 3 weeks than tell her sorry but the real test is face to face, you respect her wish though and won't try to make her change her mind, Good bye and good luck.

 

99.99% of women wanting to build a rapport with you online first are hiding something and are hoping you will over look that something when you meet if you have spent 3 weeks chatting first.

[Larryville]

G: You would post this after what I posted on another OLD thread:lmao:

 

99.99% of women wanting to build a rapport with you online first are hiding something and are hoping you will over look that something when you meet if you have spent 3 weeks chatting first.

[MarkIVSteel]

I'd delete her messages and move on. Those kinds of people are usually time wasters.

 

Once Mr McHottie rolls around and asks her out, she won't tell him "we need to talk more first".

[Grey40]

Good points. I've found that asking women out quickly is the best way to filter out people who aren't serious. Many women (and men too) use online dating as a fun game, when they are bored, just to see what's out there..like people have said on here like "a catalog"...just browsing but not actually buying. Asking then out quickly just protects you from wasting time on people who aren't ever going to meet.

 

It's like in sales, there are ways to tell if someone will actually buy something or not, much better to go after people who are more likely to purchase than people with no interest.

[Sunkissedpatio]

I wouldn't dream of meeting a guy without building rapport first. And by that I mean exchanging a few messages to establish compatibility and a phone call.

 

In fact, I found incompatibilities in guys by the time we got to the phone chat. A few guys really let their guard down we had some pretty decent conversation and they said things that didn't appeal to me.

 

I would never meet a man from OLD I haven't built some rapport with first. I don't have the energy to go out on 300 dates with a every Tom Dick and Harry that sends a "hi" message.

 

I want to feel excited and like I am looking forward to my date, not like I'm going out to a speed dating event to talk to a bunch guys in under two minutes and see which one I liked.

 

Throwing mud against the wall to see what sticks is for some people. Others want substance.

[Gaeta]

I wouldn't dream of meeting a guy without building rapport first. And by that I mean exchanging a few messages to establish compatibility and a phone call.

 

In fact, I found incompatibilities in guys by the time we got to the phone chat. A few guys really let their guard down we had some pretty decent conversation and they said things that didn't appeal to me.

 

I would never meet a man from OLD I haven't built some rapport with first. I don't have the energy to go out on 300 dates with a every Tom Dick and Harry that sends a "hi" message.

 

I want to feel excited and like I am looking forward to my date, not like I'm going out to a speed dating event to talk to a bunch guys in under two minutes and see which one I liked.

 

Throwing mud against the wall to see what sticks is for some people. Others want substance.

 

And 3 to 5 days should be plenty to have a couple of phone conversations to establish an interest?

 

When I was inexperienced I let 2-3 weeks go by and then met. All of the time I was highly disappointed because during those 2-3 weeks I had built huge expectations and of course no man could meet those expectations. The virtual image you have of someone will always surpass reality.

[Sunkissedpatio]

It's not so much about time from chat to meeting because life does get in the way. Some weekends I already have plans with friends so I'm not going on a date. It'll have to wait until following weekend etc.

 

The key is not to communicate for weeks on end before you meet . Nor do I want texts back and forth until we meet. I don't give out my number. That is building too much familiarity with someone I have no clue if I will ever see again.

 

One exchange with substance online on the site, (so messages back and forth of conversation good rapport is there) Move to one phone call. That's it. Next point of contact is "set the meeting time and day"

[dumbass2]

If we go back and forth through message at least few times, then I ask to exchange numbers and talk. This is within 1-2 days on average because of work and stuff going on. I wont keep messaging on the site. When I get the number I call within a day or two. If the phone conversation is going well, I cut it to about 30 minutes and ask her for a specific date and make it within a few days preferably. Sometimes I can tell within the first 10-15 minutes if it's worth it or not and may end the call pretty quick. Phone call never goes over 45 minutes because some women I meet I could talk with for hours but you've got to save it for the date and keep expectations low. Usually it takes 4-8 days on average from first messaging to an actual date. I've never asked a woman from OLD out without talking first. I feel it has saved me a lot of time and money.